khanjar

I have been off dancing for a while, not been going to my weekly classes that I enjoyed so much, the initial reason for that, was the recession as it came my turn to be hit by it, I could not afford to go. Then came the questioning of myself, the question being; where do I fit in to this dance ?

As a male dancer, has anyone experienced that, where they question themselves where they fit in ?

Now I have come to understand the reason I have questioned myself such, is because I need to dance, and by that, join the mob and dance in public, but have because of shyness and lack of self belief not done so in the few years I have been taking classes, I have come to a stop, albeit one forced by recession, but a stop nontheless, and this is where I feel the doubts set in.

But I intend to get back into dancing and that, because I miss the sheer joy of the movement, fine, one can dance at home on one's own or at work where I often do, (much to what I detect as the embarrassed amusement of the blacksmith) to his choice of heavy metal music, but I miss dancing with others but it will have to wait until my financial situation improves, as this recession is difficult.

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Variety is the spice of life; Ignore people one day and annoy them the next.

Shanazel

Hey, honey, welcome back. I've missed you.

One does not have to be male to question where one fits into the dance, though I know you'll be interested in the experiences and thoughts of other men. Many dancers deal with shyness and self doubt and lack of funds; you are in good company, male and female.

For many, many years, I was first the sole, then one of very few women working in a predominantly male field, so I can kind of relate to what you are going through emotionally by being in the minority. There's a lot more support for male dancers than you might realize, but as for the non-supportive flks in the world: the best adice I can give you, though you didn't ask me for advice, is to never let 'em see you bleed. Hold your head up, do what you want to do as if you haven't a doubt in your mind, and sooner or later those doubts will fade into memory.

I think the twelve step version of this is "fake it till you make it."

I'm glad you're back.

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Lara

As a female dancer, I have experienced this, lol! I moved to a tiny place with *no* dancing for a while, came back and there was a performance group but no one teaching classes any more, but a yearly workshop. I danced for years without performing, then performed off and on with a casual group, then started teaching, then joined a performance troupe, then resigned for family issues... My own identity in dance has shifted several times over the 20 years that I have been dancing, but the one constant was *my* need to dance. Everything else sorts itself out eventually, as long as I stay true to my drive to dance and my desire to do right by the art form I fell in love with.

Aniseteph

Hello Khanjar, great to hear from you again!

Again, not a guy, but I wonder where I fit in a lot. Not a commercial enough prospect to ever think of going semi-pro, not in a troupe, not teaching or planning to, taking it a little more seriously than just a social giggle...

walladah

where does dance fit in our lives when we are in a difficulty, when we are at a critical point of our personal history?

I think that this is a major question, given that i also face similar issues and yes, i miss it very much that i cannot attend regular lessons for financial reasons. I also feel very weird that i dance alone at home and i only attend very few workshops...
I am female, so i really do not know whether my little story is of any use to you but think about that: dance has helped me to recover from physical difficulty, to keep my mind in place when everything else was collapsing, to be grateful in disaster because i was able to enjoy the music and express it and yes, to be able to transmit some of the joy i receive from dance, to others.

I did not intend to do all the above, i was not able to think anything about such things at several points in my life (which means that you are still in a good shape, if you can see yourself "from outside" the situation), i just danced when i felt so. i think that sometimes we do not need to think, we need to do what heart says...

Mosaic

I am sort of going through the self doubts now, although I am still dancing - up to 3 classes a week and relief teaching ( which I do enjoy) So as has been stated you are not alone. I think my doubts come from turning 63 in a weeks time. The mind is willing but the body takes its time to do things - I don't have the agility I once did, it is very frustrating. I think many of us come to self doubt for various reasons in our lives, but you still love the dance as I do, so keep going, even if for the moment you can only dance at work/home.

Do you keep in touch with any of your class colleagues? Maybe some one from the class would like to share an hour with you on occasions and you spend the time dancing around your living room, or can you afford to save a little money and every few weeks/couple of months do a private class? If not - don't give up you love to dance so much and you have the right to dance as much as the person.
Good to see you back.
~Mosaic

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BigJim

This ... is a very deep question and I'm not sure I can answer it for you. Where do you fit into this dance or where does a male fit in?

There are 1000's of female dancers and not that many men... so we maybe considered an oddity. At this time there is the question of "what the heck is a guy belly dancing for".... Well I'm dancing for probably the same reason you do... I enjoy it. The music, the challenge of learning, the movements, the whole nine yards... at this time we might be viewed as someone who doesn't have all their oars in the water or ...maybe that we are doing the ground breaking for others... who knows in 1-2-5? years maybe male belly dancing will be the rage... but I'm old enough to not care what others think... I can see my dance career being limited by physical problems in the future but I'm going at it as hard as I can right now and enjoying every second of it while it lasts...

From reading your post I sense a feeling that you are a little lost right now. Due to circumstances beyond your control you've been forced to give up the social aspect of the dance by not being able to attend classes. Things will get better... if not tommorrow then next week or next month.... but they will get better. In the meantime work on things that need improving by practising by yourself. Continue to improve and keep practicing. It's something you enjoy doing so do it. Use this time to work on a solo performance and when the time is right share it with others... it will be an accomplishment for you...

I'm not sure if this will help or not but I hope it will... Jim

Jim.808

So I'm not alone? great! Being a male belly dancer is OK after all.

Tarik Sultan

As a guy I am aware that this field is female dominated and most people have no idea that men are a part of this. However, it was of great importance that I was able to go to Egypt, mingle with Egyptians and see them dance. That was important because it showed me that we westerners view the dance in a backward fashion. We see the dance primarily as an activity done by professional performers, where as in Egypt dance is primarily a social activity done by ordinary people. Professional dancers are in fact the minority and far removed from the reality of most people's lives. Most Egyptians exposure to professional dancers is on telivision and in the movies. In real life, everybody dances, men and women, but the entertainment industry created an aspect of the dance that was female dominated because that was what the market wanted at the time and it was that aspect that was popularized in the media.

To me, being a male dancer is to reflect a more culturally accurate representation of the dance, that is that it is an activity that is done by all people, not just one sex. Yes, for the most part is is a more theatrical expression than what is done by the average guests at weddings and parties, but tge foundation is the same dance. Therefore, to have male and female dancers is a more truthfull reflection of the actual culture. In the past this was not shown in the Egyptian media, but things are changing now. Weddings now typically feature troupes of dancing boys and resorts like Sharem now feature male oriental dancers. We are not as odd as people believe us to be. If you have an Egyptian or Lebanese community in your area I'd suggest hanging and mingling with them. Dancing in the dance in a social context will help you more than you know. If not, keep practicing and use youtube for your source of inspiration. Seeing other men dancing naturally will help you. There's no reason why your dancing has to stop.

Tarik Sultan