Thread: Anxiety ?

Okay I now understand much of my questionable performance online is anxiety driven, as yes I do suffer anxiety very much and have always done so but I am fed up with it now, it is destroying my life. Meds, been there on that, they add to it in that all the side effects cause problems, so I am looking for another way out.

But I know anxiety is common, many suffer it, even chronically like myself and there will be people on this forum with that, so if you care to contribute, how do you manage or even get rid of anxiety ?

It depends on where your anxiety stems from. For me I found that once I stopped trying to please everyone else & only tried to please myself that about 90% of my anxiety went away.

What Darshiva said and also for me the need to control what happens. After I somehow managed to let go of that, it's all been so much simpler. But I have no idea what was the key to my change.

I had GAD but never took medication for it. I went to see a psychologist (not a psychiatric) and they helped me a lot to work through it and to help me notice the symptoms of an attack starting so I could nip it before it got full blown. They come from a very different direction than psychiatrist's do. I also started doing a lot of guided meditation that helped me keep my anxiety in check. Happy to say, except for one occasion, it has been a couple of years since my last anxiety attacks.

It has been so long since I had one that when my fiance pushed for a wedding next year I had an attack. I didn't realize what was happening till it dawned that the feelings and thinking pattern were familiar. I realized I was having an anxiety attack. Took me 5 hours to calm my brain and body down from that one (because by the time I realized it it was already full blown) but the tips and stuff I learned were very helpful.

For performance anxiety I have found a product available at natural health food stores or nutrition stores called L-Theanine. It is made from green tea, without the caffeine. It calms and helps me focus.

For generalized anxiety, that is tough. Some people are just hard wired to have high anxiety. Managing stress to keep it as low as possible in your daily life, seeking counseling or a support group, finding a spiritual path, all of these things can help. I've suffered from anxiety all my life. Now, as an older person, I am more relaxed, letting go of expectations and people-pleasing and wanting to enjoy each day. Also I have less stress now as my kids are grown and my husband and I are happy together and in a stable situation.

how do you manage or even get rid of anxiety ?

Zoloft!

Also cutting out caffeine, not eating late at night, identifying and removing known triggers before I'm in full blown 'foetal in a corner' mode, meditation, cognitive behavioural techniques, mantras to use when catastrophising, a supportive husband and the occasional temazepam.

I forgot to mention this:
Think of one thing for each of these
- past positive (something positive in the past)
- future goal (what you want to achieve, be realistic)
- present hedonism (what you can enjoy/are enjoying in this very moment).

The things can be anything from very small to very important. I've noticed that when things are bad I can't think that far in the future or in the past, but I still manage to find positive things. For the future I once decided I'm enjoying having dry socks (as wet once are irritating). Usually going through these help me focus on what is at hand and the stress and anxiety and negative thoughts go away.

Like to LilithNoor for the cut-to-the-chase honesty!
(ETA - and to chirel for the dry socks one. Like.)

I've always worried about What People Think. It's balanced out with age and an increasing realisation that People Don't Really Care/ Notice, and if they do is it really any of their business, or my problem? None of this is anything major IMO, it's just how I am wired. Also as Dunyah said, it's a lot easier to be chilled about things when you haven't got other things stressing you out, like work or money or relationship issues. I've had a couple of bouts of counselling; one through work when IIRC most of the department were going , the other for (very mild IMO) depression, which got me through and was in my pre BD days (just a coincidence? I THINK NOT.).

For specific events like giving a talk or a dentist visit, I've realised that it makes no difference how much I get in a flap, it's going to happen, and in x days it will be done, so best to just focus on being ready rather than worrying. For dance events I also focus on the fact it's supposed to be fun - why spoil it for yourself? and it looks much better anyway if you relax. Group numbers are stessy because you can't let others down and mess up, but otherwise I'd rather watch dancer A mess up a bit technically but look like he/she was having a great time, than dancer B being perfect but soulless. So if it's me dancing I'd rather be A.

There's a really good kids book we have that talks about worries being like tomato plants. If you dwell on them it feeds and waters them and they grow, but if you stop they die off. I find it very helpful to recognise when I'm feeding the Worry Tomatoes.

Oh, and to lighten up on myself. Everyone is allowed to have bad days, get pi$$ed off, have brain fades and mess up, rant and whinge from time to time. Just don't do it all the time, try not to hurt anyone, say sorry I was being an idiot/ diva/ PITA, and try to share the good stuff and not just the cr&p.

There's a really good kids book we have that talks about worries being like tomato plants. If you dwell on them it feeds and waters them and they grow, but if you stop they die off. I find it very helpful to recognise when I'm feeding the Worry Tomatoes.

I love this analogy and am definitely stealing it for future reference and thought train derailing!

Well the current anxiety attack lifted and I watched it lift, almost like the weather getting better, and so realised what caused the current bout was the belief in people, institutions and mechanisms, as to understand I have a somewhat outdated approach to life, people that are employed to do such, in my mind that is what they do and it stresses me greatly when they don't and I understand this is becoming more and more common as work lines become blurred, costs rise, people get stressed and don't do their job. Now I got some action on friday morning, got someone to actually do the job they were employed to do and got someone roasted for failing to their job as with me anyone that sets themselves up in a position where people rely on them and the those that rely are failed, I have utter contempt for. But I was facing bailiff action for bills disputed and it was alleviated for now with promises the situation will be sorted out and those I contacted know I audio recorded the whole conversation, so this time no lies and no fob offs and I think given the fact I recorded the conversation it is unlikely I will have been lied to, so all's good, for now.

But this anxiety issue has to be dealt with and I know it is caused by my thinking, thinking created by experience, for that must have been in a time when people did what was right, what was expected of them not what the availability of money dictated. Now with me because I have bipolar thinking I know I come in for a lot of problems, so I think because my issue is skewed thought processes, then it is logical that I need to work on the thought patterns and so after much research I have come to the conclusion that is not more of the chemical lobotomy that I need, but what I need is cognitive behavioural therapy, basically reprogramming because what coping mechanisms I have created to cope don't work that well, but then, they never did as anxiety is a common occurrence.

Oh and I need to get out more, reclusivity aside from an hour a week dancing is not doing me any good, but unemployed staying in is the cheapest option.

But I do thank you all for the good advice you offered.