NERVOUS and ANXIOUS

Nur Al Leyali

New member
HI GUYS ,
I GOT A BIG SHOW I AM DOING FOR A PRIVATE PARTY AND I AM DANCING FOR HISPANIC PEOPLE AT A PRIVATE PARTY WHERE THERE WILL BE MANY MANY PEOPLE ON THE 6TH OF THIS MONTH... NOW HERES THE PROBLEM I AM SO ANXIOUS AND INCREDIBLY NERVOUS AT THE THOUGHT OF DANCING IN FRONT OF THIS MANY HISPANIC PEOPLE WHOM DONT KNOW A THINK OF BELLYDANCING AND THEY ARE CALLING ME A INDIAN HINDU DANCER.... I AM REALLY NOT SO SURE ABOUT THIS ....ANY ADVICE? I NEED TO CALM DOWN AND I DONT KNOW A GOOD METHOD FOR THAT .. I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE. I USUALLY GO ON DANCE HAVE A GREAT TIME AND GREET PEOPLE AFTER TAKE SOME PHOTOS AND MAYBE GIVE A PRESENT TO SOMEONE IN QTHE AUDOENCE WHO PARTICIPATED WITH ME WELL.. OR TO THE LONLILEST LOOKING PERSON THERE... THEN I LEAVE ,,,, IM NOT SO SURE HOW TO WORK A LARGE HISPANIC PARTY.... I NEED HELP ON CALMING MY NERVES AND FINDING A GOOD PLAN TO WORK THESE PEOPLE INTO MY DANCE. WITHOUT THEM LOOKING AT ME LIKE IM A LOONEY TUNE... CAN ANY ONE HELP ME?:pray:
 

LLAIMA

New member
HI GUYS ,
I GOT A BIG SHOW I AM DOING FOR A PRIVATE PARTY AND I AM DANCING FOR HISPANIC PEOPLE AT A PRIVATE PARTY WHERE THERE WILL BE MANY MANY PEOPLE ON THE 6TH OF THIS MONTH... NOW HERES THE PROBLEM I AM SO ANXIOUS AND INCREDIBLY NERVOUS AT THE THOUGHT OF DANCING IN FRONT OF THIS MANY HISPANIC PEOPLE WHOM DONT KNOW A THINK OF BELLYDANCING AND THEY ARE CALLING ME A INDIAN HINDU DANCER.... I AM REALLY NOT SO SURE ABOUT THIS ....ANY ADVICE? I NEED TO CALM DOWN AND I DONT KNOW A GOOD METHOD FOR THAT .. I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE. I USUALLY GO ON DANCE HAVE A GREAT TIME AND GREET PEOPLE AFTER TAKE SOME PHOTOS AND MAYBE GIVE A PRESENT TO SOMEONE IN QTHE AUDOENCE WHO PARTICIPATED WITH ME WELL.. OR TO THE LONLILEST LOOKING PERSON THERE... THEN I LEAVE ,,,, IM NOT SO SURE HOW TO WORK A LARGE HISPANIC PARTY.... I NEED HELP ON CALMING MY NERVES AND FINDING A GOOD PLAN TO WORK THESE PEOPLE INTO MY DANCE. WITHOUT THEM LOOKING AT ME LIKE IM A LOONEY TUNE... CAN ANY ONE HELP ME?:pray:
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I think the fact that there is going to be a lot of people is a positive thing to your advantage this means that it is a big event and the music is going to be loud, which means that wether they like your performance or not crickets are not going to be heard because at least half of the audience is going to clap after you performance.
I personally preffer to perform while people are having dinner but if you want to make sure that the people are cheerful and interact with you, my advice is that you perform after dinner when people are ready to dance and they have had a couple of drinks.
When it comes to hispanic people, they are usually very very nice people as far as I remember I only had one bad experience at a hispanic party but that was because that particular crowd had no etiquette and the host was drunk.
Relax the worst that could happen is that they might expect you to dance like Shakira ha, ha!
 

da Sage

New member
HI GUYS ,
I GOT A BIG SHOW I AM DOING FOR A PRIVATE PARTY AND I AM DANCING FOR HISPANIC PEOPLE AT A PRIVATE PARTY WHERE THERE WILL BE MANY MANY PEOPLE ON THE 6TH OF THIS MONTH... NOW HERES THE PROBLEM I AM SO ANXIOUS AND INCREDIBLY NERVOUS AT THE THOUGHT OF DANCING IN FRONT OF THIS MANY HISPANIC PEOPLE WHOM DONT KNOW A THINK OF BELLYDANCING AND THEY ARE CALLING ME A INDIAN HINDU DANCER.... I AM REALLY NOT SO SURE ABOUT THIS ....ANY ADVICE? I NEED TO CALM DOWN AND I DONT KNOW A GOOD METHOD FOR THAT .. I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE. I USUALLY GO ON DANCE HAVE A GREAT TIME AND GREET PEOPLE AFTER TAKE SOME PHOTOS AND MAYBE GIVE A PRESENT TO SOMEONE IN QTHE AUDOENCE WHO PARTICIPATED WITH ME WELL.. OR TO THE LONLILEST LOOKING PERSON THERE... THEN I LEAVE ,,,, IM NOT SO SURE HOW TO WORK A LARGE HISPANIC PARTY.... I NEED HELP ON CALMING MY NERVES AND FINDING A GOOD PLAN TO WORK THESE PEOPLE INTO MY DANCE. WITHOUT THEM LOOKING AT ME LIKE IM A LOONEY TUNE... CAN ANY ONE HELP ME?:pray:

Wow, what makes you concerned that they will call you an Indian Hindu dancer? Did the guy who booked you say he wanted something Bollywood? If so, maybe you can do something with costuming...

If it were me, I'd be excited about the possibility of being offered really tasty (Mexican?) food. Mmmmm, my favorite!
 

Phoebedances

New member
HI GUYS ,
I GOT A BIG SHOW I AM DOING FOR A PRIVATE PARTY AND I AM DANCING FOR HISPANIC PEOPLE AT A PRIVATE PARTY WHERE THERE WILL BE MANY MANY PEOPLE ON THE 6TH OF THIS MONTH... NOW HERES THE PROBLEM I AM SO ANXIOUS AND INCREDIBLY NERVOUS AT THE THOUGHT OF DANCING IN FRONT OF THIS MANY HISPANIC PEOPLE WHOM DONT KNOW A THINK OF BELLYDANCING AND THEY ARE CALLING ME A INDIAN HINDU DANCER.... I AM REALLY NOT SO SURE ABOUT THIS ....ANY ADVICE? I NEED TO CALM DOWN AND I DONT KNOW A GOOD METHOD FOR THAT .. I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE. I USUALLY GO ON DANCE HAVE A GREAT TIME AND GREET PEOPLE AFTER TAKE SOME PHOTOS AND MAYBE GIVE A PRESENT TO SOMEONE IN QTHE AUDOENCE WHO PARTICIPATED WITH ME WELL.. OR TO THE LONLILEST LOOKING PERSON THERE... THEN I LEAVE ,,,, IM NOT SO SURE HOW TO WORK A LARGE HISPANIC PARTY.... I NEED HELP ON CALMING MY NERVES AND FINDING A GOOD PLAN TO WORK THESE PEOPLE INTO MY DANCE. WITHOUT THEM LOOKING AT ME LIKE IM A LOONEY TUNE... CAN ANY ONE HELP ME?:pray:

I'm a little confused how they came to think you are an Indian Hindu Dancer in the first place. Perhaps you should contact the person in charge and make certain that they know that you are a middle eastern dancer and not doing a style of dance from India, but from Egypt or Turkey or whatever style you embrace.

I would not be nervous over the crowd size. I've had much more fun dancing in crowded venues than ones with only a few people. Just do what you normally do and dance well and play with some of the audience trying to get them to dance with you. It will all be fun and wonderful. :)
 

Nur Al Leyali

New member
hindu dancer

the guy knows that i am a middle eastern dancer Ive told him egyptian style even down to the prop i will use which will be a veil ... but he is not taking me seriously as a dancer... he joked with his friend in spanish which i am fluent in .....saying i was a indian hindi dancer he doesnt understand what he is talking about and it is because of this lack of politeness and lack of concern i am worried . and extremely nervous.
 

jenc

New member
just announce clearly to the audience - what exactly you do - maybe after the first number. Don't forget your business cards. Good luck!
 

masrawy

New member
I don't do wedding

the guy knows that i am a middle eastern dancer Ive told him egyptian style even down to the prop i will use which will be a veil ... but he is not taking me seriously as a dancer... he joked with his friend in spanish which i am fluent in .....saying i was a indian hindi dancer he doesnt understand what he is talking about and it is because of this lack of politeness and lack of concern i am worried . and extremely nervous.

Hi Nur, their is time where you have to stand 100% for yourself .... this is one of those time. I you are sure that you are hired to be like the joke of the party, and your life dose not depend on it, You should refuse the job. if they are looking for a go go dancer they should get one. I am a portrait/head shot photographer when people ask me to shoot wedding I let them know that I don't do wedding and give them referral to photographer who dose ... I may lose this one but in the long run I get to do more of what I am good at and. if you taller yourself to suit every event you get you end up with watered down You. I hope this make sense to you. Regards~Mahmoud
 

janaki

New member
hi Nur, Their Is Time Where You Have To Stand 100% For Yourself .... This Is One Of Those Time. I You Are Sure That You Are Hired To Be Like The Joke Of The Party, And Your Life Dose Not Depend On It, You Should Refuse The Job. If They Are Looking For A Go Go Dancer They Should Get One. I Am A Portrait/head Shot Photographer When People Ask Me To Shoot Wedding I Let Them Know That I Don't Do Wedding And Give Them Referral To Photographer Who Dose ... I May Lose This One But In The Long Run I Get To Do More Of What I Am Good At And. If You Taller Yourself To Suit Every Event You Get You End Up With Watered Down You. I Hope This Make Sense To You. Regards~mahmoud

Spot On Masrawy!!! Reputation For You.

Janaki
 

Nur Al Leyali

New member
refused...

I refused to dance there the night of the dance guys.... I am so horror shocked at what i found when I got there..... I cant even believe what I saw . The entire audience was male ..... maybe 3 females in a large hall full of seats and tables and a small dance floor right in the middle.. I went for rehersal 3 hours early and these people were already there drinking and playing some sort of game with quaters . I dont drink but i pretty much got the idea its a game ... they were drinking taquila on top of that... thats some strong stuff. any way the ladies serving the drinks were half dressed and i understood imediantly why they hired me .. i walked up to mr. the guy. no names not polite .... and told him i would not preform in this enviroment and he laughed at me. and said ok and told me he would not pay for nothing no expences nothing .. I told him I did not ask for his mney to pay for these things... He tried to hit on me :shok: like that would make itall better .. i gathered my bags and left. what kind of way to do business is that:mad:
I was so happy my insticts were correct. There party was a complete insult to me as a dancer. and hurt my heart so much, belly dance is thought of with such lack of respect in some crowds... its hard not to just say heck with it when your faced with so much in one night .. it took me 3 hours to get ready 1 hour to get there ...gas .....and i had aranged my brother to come with me for support and to play a spanish song on his guitar some thing special for these people live and this is what happened .. I am honestly very hurt.:(
 
I wanted it to be oriented in something they would be interested in as a group... dance something with there taste as hipanic persons thats all.
;)

I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience, but it can be taken as a lesson. It's been discussed many times that many people in the public will not see the dance as we do..they have no idea how much heart, soul, money and time it takes to learn to belly dance.

In terms of the ethnic make-up of your audience, it's difficult to tell what each audience may like. In this case it wasn't the ethnic make-up as much as it was a group of rowdy, drunken men! Maybe the questions that could have provided you with some answers were:

Is alcohol served at this venue?
Will there be a mixed crowd in terms of gender?
Is there gambling at the venue?
Will food be served?

Sometimes we want to dance so badly, that we want to believe that each expereince will reward us, instead, as dancers, we need to develop some realistic expectations.
Yasmine
 

LLAIMA

New member
I wanted it to be oriented in something they would be interested in as a group... dance something with there taste as hipanic persons thats all.
;)
.

Hi nour: I'm very sorry your gig turn out this way, unfortunatelly as an oriental dancer your are going to have to deal with ignorant people from all cultures. :clap: I do want to congratulate you for keeping your standards and integrity as dancer. Next time ask as many questions as you can to avoid surprices. You might want to ask what type of event is going to be, wedding, birthday? etc, is there going to be a stage, a DJ, a changing room?
Also you might want to ask who pays you and try to get paid before the performance. Make sure you have it all in writing prior to the event, signed by the client


Now, you wanted orientation about catering to the hispanic crowd's taste, I personally like the Egyptian style and when I perform for hispanic audiences I still like to keep it that way but sometimes at the end of my performance I play a Hakim amd Olga tanon.
But here is what most hispanic crowds relate to:
Alabina
Shakira.
 
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Nur Al Leyali

New member
I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience, but it can be taken as a lesson. It's been discussed many times that many people in the public will not see the dance as we do..they have no idea how much heart, soul, money and time it takes to learn to belly dance.

In terms of the ethnic make-up of your audience, it's difficult to tell what each audience may like. In this case it wasn't the ethnic make-up as much as it was a group of rowdy, drunken men! Maybe the questions that could have provided you with some answers were:

Is alcohol served at this venue?
Will there be a mixed crowd in terms of gender?
Is there gambling at the venue?
Will food be served?

Sometimes we want to dance so badly, that we want to believe that each expereince will reward us, instead, as dancers, we need to develop some realistic expectations.
Yasmine

thank you for your lovely advice and i will remember it .. I should had known to ask this before and to ask many more things but i was anxious for this form of dance to get known in alabama more the it was so i accepted
the agreement a bit hastily. but thank you.
 

Nur Al Leyali

New member
.

Hi nour: I'm very sorry your gig turn out this way, unfortunatelly as an oriental dancer your are going to have to deal with ignorant people from all cultures. :clap: I do want to congratulate you for keeping your standards and integrity as dancer. Next time ask as many questions as you can to avoid surprices. You might want to ask what type of event is going to be, wedding, birthday? etc, is there going to be a stage, a DJ, a changing room?
Also you might want to ask who pays you and try to get paid before the performance. Make sure you have it all in writing prior to the event, signed by the client


Now, you wanted orientation about catering to the hispanic crowd's taste, I personally like the Egyptian style and when I perform for hispanic audiences I still like to keep it that way but sometimes at the end of my performance I play a Hakim amd Olga tanon.
But here is what most hispanic crowds relate to:
Alabina
Shakira.

yes i thought alabina would be beautiful for this group also thats why i had worked it into my performance with my brother playing live spanish guitar also as a special suprise to the birthday boy ... but it didnt happen and i should have known to ask those questions i have been dancing and studying oriental dance for almost 8 years but i was obviously over anxious to get this dance more known and in the community butttt i guess i learned a wonderful lesson .. most lessons have to be learned by incedent .... right . still i am so offened and hurt because my family seen this enviroment and was ashamed for what they had thought of me . my brother wanted to fight when the man started hitting on me .. it was awful. But i have learned a valuble lesson .... no more will i be so trusting .. paper work and many questions... and i believe some communities are just clossed to people like me. maybe alabama is that community. i hope not . but we will have to see. i am going to look up a dancer named aziza whom lives and teaches in alabama and talk to her a bit .. maybe share some thoughts and ideas. but thank you YOUR thoughts were very helpful.
 

Phoebedances

New member
I am sorry to hear that the event was not what you hoped it would be and really feel for you in the amount of preparation that you went to. I think sometimes we hope to change the minds of people who don't have alot of respect and instead end up in a situation where it would be impossible to do so, such as this one with lots of loud drunken men.

I am glad you took a family member with you for your safety. That is always a good tip - to take a friend or family member with you when hired for private parties/events, I think.
 

Nur Al Leyali

New member
I am sorry to hear that the event was not what you hoped it would be and really feel for you in the amount of preparation that you went to. I think sometimes we hope to change the minds of people who don't have alot of respect and instead end up in a situation where it would be impossible to do so, such as this one with lots of loud drunken men.

I am glad you took a family member with you for your safety. That is always a good tip - to take a friend or family member with you when hired for private parties/events, I think.

I wasnt getting a good vibe from these people at all. thats why i was taking my brother he said he was bored any ways so i ask him would he like to make 50 dollars for playing a song for me AND HE TOLD ME HE WOULD NEVER ACCEPT PAYMENT FROM ME. and he went with me free and had learned the song alabina in 3 hours(hes so talented hehehe) I love my aby brother. just to be there for me and help hes my angel. He has never done a thing to me h has never lied in his life he doesnt do anything like boys his age he is 23 he is so mature.. he is my angel what can i say .
 

Salome

Administrator
I don't want to seem uncaring or harsh because I've faced challenging show situations in my day, so I empathize! But I read your posts and felt compelled to say a few things, that I realize are totally unsolicited.

In a perfect world a dancer would be respected, she would also be deserving of that respect and the show would be a wonderful, magical exchange, experience and journey.

But it is not a perfect world. The reality is that when you do birthdays, anniversaries, and other types of celebratory private parties *sometimes* you will get clients who value and respect an artistic gift. And that's great. Most often you will have clients that are looking for entertainment value (nothing wrong with that), and then there are many clients who want your show as kind of a friendly shock or good natured embarassment for the guest of honor (some dancers don't mind that) and then the dregs who don't give two sh*ts about your "needs" as a person let alone an 'artist'.

If you want to be a (satisfied) working dancer you need to first understand why you are doing it and that will help answer the question of where you should be doing it.

No doubt that a working dancer deserves at least a basic level of respect, if in no other way at least respect in the business transaction. But never assume or expect that it will be forthcoming. Expect to spell it all out. Expect to have to protect your boundaries. Be ready to walk away and do it all cooly under duress.

It's a hard lesson to learn, really pops the bubble and all that but performing for money, means entering a realm of dealing with all kinds of people and their agenda's. People who don't want to pay, people who want to treat you like a piece of meat, unsafe situations, harassment, dealing with drunks and all kinds of other unsavory stuff. Maybe it doesn't happen all the time, BUT it comes with the territory. If you can't handle it, handle them, handle yourself - it will be a pretty crushing road for you.
 
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