I start lessons this week. It's something I've been wanting to do for a couple of years, and I decided to finally do it. I'm a little nervous because dancing is one thing that gives me anxiety, I don't feel like I have much natural rhythm at all, and I want to get over this stupid fear. I'm signed up with a well respected teacher in this area, and I'm getting private lessons so I don't feel more nervous in a large group of people. I'm also a little nervous because I am plus size, and I've got a 2 year old, and all the stretch marks from carrying a 10lb baby. I know I can do this, and I really believe I'll enjoy it, and I know it will be good for me mentally and physically...I just was wondering if anyone else felt like this in the beginning as well? I look forward to reading your stories!
New plus size bellydancer, needing support
- Thread starter LaineyNC
- Start date
lizaj
New member
Welcome to the forum Lainey
You'll find there are many women in the same position ( and shape) as yourself who decide that they'd love to do this dance. Because it is at heart a social dance, there is no reason why body-shape should prevent you from participating and benefitting from the activity. Regardless of image-issues, many girls like you find belly dance a great confidence-booster.
you should always check with a health professional that is Ok for you to follow a course of any physical activity but otherwise there is no bar to you enjoying the classes
You'll find there are many women in the same position ( and shape) as yourself who decide that they'd love to do this dance. Because it is at heart a social dance, there is no reason why body-shape should prevent you from participating and benefitting from the activity. Regardless of image-issues, many girls like you find belly dance a great confidence-booster.
you should always check with a health professional that is Ok for you to follow a course of any physical activity but otherwise there is no bar to you enjoying the classes
Shanazel
Moderator
Welcome, Lainey. Just for your general edification, I am a plus sized teacher who had two ten and a half pound babies and all the physical marks that result from such an adventure. You'll be just fine- your worst critic is probably you, so have a firm talk with yourself about having fun. learning a new and beautiful skill, and the heck with stretch marks and extra poundage. Most of those models in the magazine are airbrushed, and those who aren't will need to be sooner or later. 
shiradotnet
Well-known member
Hi Lainey! Welcome to the dance, and congratulations on overcoming your nervousness!
I've created a web site called "Bellydance Plus" especially for the purpose of helping dancers like you overcome your hesitation at learning to belly dance: Bellydance for Plus-Sized Women, Belly Dance for Full-Figured Women, and Bellydancing for Big Beautiful Women (BBW) . One important thing for you to realize is that you are NOT REQUIRED to bare your belly when you do this dance. It's okay to do it if you want to, but there are many other great costume options such as elegant dresses that are perfectly acceptable costume choices in this dance form.
Mosaic
Super Moderator
Welcome to the dance - as others have said there are plenty of plus size ladies bellydancing, once over the initial nerves that everyone feels when they first begin you will be fine I guarantee. I was a plus size and on the other side of 50 when I began and felt the same way as you. I took a couple of private lessons to make sure that i like BD, feel head over heels in love with it, took a deep breathe ( several actually):lol: and joined a class. I have never looked back. Five years + later - I am totally addicted, and never miss classes if I can help it, I go to 2 classes a week.
You go girl!
~Mosaic
You go girl!
~Mosaic
Thank you so much ladies for your encouragement! Shira, I actually found your site before I found these forums! I watched some of the videos of a couple of the dancers there, and felt so much better afterward. I was just worried my body wouldn't want to move like that, but now I'm pretty confident that it will.
~Diana~
AFK Moderator
..is it sad that I kinda have a mama-tummy but without being a mama?? LOL
lizaj
New member
I never got a mama tummy but I sure got a granny tummy now..
walladah
New member
Actually, you do not need
any support!
You just (belly)dance!
But I think this is a nice opportunity to tell you my own experience:
I live in a Mediterranean country, where women are facing this "perfect top model image" pressure from everywhere. However, I was lucky enough to be connected by origin and breeding to an area of the country, where food is considered to be a great pleasure and women who are fitting the western "top model image" stereotype might face questions like "are you OK? you are too thin!". So, I think that you are anxious about something that does not exist, e.g. a socially constructed idea about a real woman (a mother, a woman who has many responsibilities and affinities, a wife and girlfriend, a daughter and grandmother at the same time) not being beautiful.
What is considered in my homeland as important, is not the thin shape (far from it), but harmonious shape. Which means, a mother belly might also be beautiful and well integrated in a woman's body harmony!
But the most important thing that defies all others and this is how a beautiful woman is recognised as such (and we do not speak about character), it is when she sings and when she stands up and dances. You can be ugly or beautiful, fat or skinny, poor or rich, educated or not, clever or not: you cannot be "άμουση", e.g. without the Muse's impact, uninspired.
Therefore, all women are proud to dance and also praised for dancing! and all those years I am addicted to bellydance, I have seen great dancers who wear plus sizes and mediocre dancers who wear XS. Not to mention my homeland women and their great tsiftetelis and karsilamas. Muse does not care about sizes!
PS/Do not complain about your healthy and strong baby getting space in your belly! It has already prepared your belly for great bellyrolls!!
any support!
You just (belly)dance!
But I think this is a nice opportunity to tell you my own experience:
I live in a Mediterranean country, where women are facing this "perfect top model image" pressure from everywhere. However, I was lucky enough to be connected by origin and breeding to an area of the country, where food is considered to be a great pleasure and women who are fitting the western "top model image" stereotype might face questions like "are you OK? you are too thin!". So, I think that you are anxious about something that does not exist, e.g. a socially constructed idea about a real woman (a mother, a woman who has many responsibilities and affinities, a wife and girlfriend, a daughter and grandmother at the same time) not being beautiful.
What is considered in my homeland as important, is not the thin shape (far from it), but harmonious shape. Which means, a mother belly might also be beautiful and well integrated in a woman's body harmony!
But the most important thing that defies all others and this is how a beautiful woman is recognised as such (and we do not speak about character), it is when she sings and when she stands up and dances. You can be ugly or beautiful, fat or skinny, poor or rich, educated or not, clever or not: you cannot be "άμουση", e.g. without the Muse's impact, uninspired.
Therefore, all women are proud to dance and also praised for dancing! and all those years I am addicted to bellydance, I have seen great dancers who wear plus sizes and mediocre dancers who wear XS. Not to mention my homeland women and their great tsiftetelis and karsilamas. Muse does not care about sizes!
PS/Do not complain about your healthy and strong baby getting space in your belly! It has already prepared your belly for great bellyrolls!!
My first lesson was last night and I LOVED it! I think the thing I was actually most worried about was that I would be really awkward, but I was excited that I wasn't. A lot of it actually seemed pretty natural, and the more I practiced it the more I could get into it. I've always felt disconnected from my body due to me generally just not liking it. My husband has been trying to help me see myself through his eyes (he is totally in love with what he see's) but it's hard from me due to a lot of negative that was spoken to me as a child and teenager. I really think bellydancing is going to help me get over that. After only two hours I am learning to appreciate my body, my hips, even my belly :dance: I am so excited and I cannot wait for next weeks class!
Mosaic
Super Moderator
Lainey, I am so happy for you
I think a lot of people could say - The best move they ever made was to go to that first class to learn to move, seems you too have moved in the right direction:lol: Happy shimmies to you!~Mosaic
shiradotnet
Well-known member
So glad to hear you went ahead and tried the class! And welcome to the club of the obsessed!
walladah
New member
Lainey
welcome to the club!
As for what had happened in childhood and teenage years, who cares? They are past and history.
And as the quote a friend of mine sent to me, some days ago:
There is never late to live a happy childhood, but the second time it will depend upon you and you only.
Many many glorious hip moves and chest lifts!
welcome to the club!
As for what had happened in childhood and teenage years, who cares? They are past and history.
And as the quote a friend of mine sent to me, some days ago:
There is never late to live a happy childhood, but the second time it will depend upon you and you only.
Many many glorious hip moves and chest lifts!
Anthea Kawakib
New member
Lainey, my best dancers at the moment are quite heavyset, in fact I'm amazed at how much muscle control they have since they are balancing so much weight. I don't know what that's like -
In fact I've had quite a few dancers over the years who were heavy but seemed to learn quicker than their peers, and be so light on their feet - it's just amazing.
So that's a dancer's viewpoint. On the other hand, to be completely frank, I've had feedback from audience members (both dancers and non-dancers) not specifically about the weight of the dancers, but about the fact that they thought the dancers should be wearing some kind of tummy cover. I passed that info on to them, but I don't make it a costume requirement for them or anything, I don't think that would be fair.
I believe it's just that Americans are not so used to heavyset dancers - I think that'll change eventually.
In fact I've had quite a few dancers over the years who were heavy but seemed to learn quicker than their peers, and be so light on their feet - it's just amazing.
So that's a dancer's viewpoint. On the other hand, to be completely frank, I've had feedback from audience members (both dancers and non-dancers) not specifically about the weight of the dancers, but about the fact that they thought the dancers should be wearing some kind of tummy cover. I passed that info on to them, but I don't make it a costume requirement for them or anything, I don't think that would be fair.
I believe it's just that Americans are not so used to heavyset dancers - I think that'll change eventually.
I hear ya. i felt the same when i first started dancing.
Although i wasnt 'big' i was an ample size 14 (british 14) and felt totally out of place with the class i attended but it was the only one within miles...so i had no choice.
My teacher (who became my best friend) is 5 foot size 6 insect and at 5'7 and 12 stone, if i danced by the side of her it looked like a giant trying to eat her! but for some reason we really hit it off, she wished she had my boobs and bum to fill out costumes!
I guess what im trying to say is that weather your a size 6 or a size 26...it doesnt matter youll always look at other dancers and think i wish i had her boobs,bum,stomach, legs.....its unfortunatly the way it works.
So just get out their dance like you love it and shake that ass! whats the worst that could happen?
bellybaby x
Although i wasnt 'big' i was an ample size 14 (british 14) and felt totally out of place with the class i attended but it was the only one within miles...so i had no choice.
My teacher (who became my best friend) is 5 foot size 6 insect and at 5'7 and 12 stone, if i danced by the side of her it looked like a giant trying to eat her! but for some reason we really hit it off, she wished she had my boobs and bum to fill out costumes!
I guess what im trying to say is that weather your a size 6 or a size 26...it doesnt matter youll always look at other dancers and think i wish i had her boobs,bum,stomach, legs.....its unfortunatly the way it works.
So just get out their dance like you love it and shake that ass! whats the worst that could happen?
bellybaby x