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  1. #1
    V.I.P. Yasmine Bint Al Nubia's Avatar
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    Mad Have You've Ever....

    Hi Everyone, Have you've ever had a troupemate or student that constantly harps and picks other students apart, while not able to correct their own faults? How do you handle it?
    Here's my rant: Tonght at troupe practice, dancer X continue to point out the "faults" of others during practice and I was beginning to become unnerved because she has been doing this type of stuff for the last 4 yrs. So she made a comment about my hip slide shimmy and hitting the mark before everyone else. Well I blew , I stopped the music and looked her dead in the eye and told her" I kow you are trying to help, but you are distracting me. IT DOES NOT HELP ME TO DANCE BETTER BUT CREATES UNNECESSARY TENSION! Well she got quiet and than apologized profusely and then said "i just wanted it to be perfect". I was like a pit bull with a mouth ful of meat and my reply was that "I'm not perfect and will never be and it would be better if she would pay attention to her own dance!" My teacher and other troupemates had smirks on their faces as we resumed practice.
    The reason why I became so mad was that this was not the first time she has done this and she has managed to run aawy other dancers who didn't stand up for themselves. as a caution to other troupes, do not let this happen repeatedly until become ou tof control. Everyone of us have the right tobe able enjoy dance without the passive aggressive behavior of others. Now I'm done. Thanks for listening.
    Yasmine

  2. #2
    V.I.P. da Sage's Avatar
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    *Stands up and claps*

    That is the best, most appropriate response ever.

    I am putting that one in my playbook; I hope I never need to use it.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Mouse's Avatar
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    great response! Perhaps it will be something she will remember the next time she feels like picking someone elses dancing to peices.

  4. #4
    V.I.P. chryssanthi sahar's Avatar
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    Yasmine, that was cool I think this is the only way to treat such people

  5. #5
    V.I.P. Moon's Avatar
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    I'm sure the other dancers in your troup are proud of you (except for dancer X, lol!)

  6. #6
    Moderator Safran's Avatar
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    Good response, Yasmine! It is like a perfect example from a behaviour book - you tried to see her view, but added yours to it, explaining how it makes you and others feel. I hope she did understand the point and will try to restrain herself from now on.

    Actually, the three steps to a weighed and sensible response to anything that disturbs you are supposed to be following:
    * describe the situation as objectively as possible, don't judge it
    * then describe the effect of this situation on you
    * then say how it makes you feel.

    That is a good theory, actually. It is hard to overcome your emotions though and use it every time

  7. #7
    V.I.P. Aisha Azar's Avatar
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    Default Have you ever.

    Dear Yasmine,
    That was perfection on your part!
    One question... why has your teacher allowed this behavior to continue? At the first sign of any of that nonsese, I immediately tell the class that I am the instructor and as such, all correction will be left up to me, though students are welcome to compliment each other when someone does something beautifully.
    Regards, A'isha

  8. #8
    V.I.P. Yasmine Bint Al Nubia's Avatar
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    Thanks Everyone for your comments and support, I always feel better when i can get something off my chest.
    Dear Aisha, I wish I can answer your question directly, because I really don't know, she has spoken to dancer X numerous times about her behavior. There are also times where she has told me that she feels weighed down. In any event I wish she was more assertive of her position as teacher/troupe leader and ask this toxic person to leave. Since I can't control neither her or dancer X's behavior, I choose to speak up for myself and let her know how I feel.
    Yasmine

  9. #9
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    Default well done

    Yasmine :
    i think that you handled a bad situation wtih class and grace. Your leader should follow you and keep that dancer's comments as well as any new or current members who travel that road at bay immediately. In our troupe, Miss Know it all was voted out like in survivor!

  10. #10
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    Good going, Yasmine!! It takes courage to on the spur of the moment come up w/ the right thing to say and "call" someone who is being that way (like Dancer X). Esp people who pick on other's dancing....? Who among us can do that? Unless that person Is the teacher, I don't feel another student should have that "right" to speak to other students (esp during the class and so disruptive) like that. It was soo inappropriate and you really helped other(s) who was being picked on, very much! Ludmilla

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