Stage fright

Sara

New member
Heyas,

I've just been to this Hafla thing, and moment I got in there, even though every one else was dressed up, I felt really self concious. I slipped on my cossie, but before my family arrived I thought I'd give mysen some 'dutch courage'.

Thing is, I have no self confidence what so ever. Everyone was like, "but you have to dance, you're the best here" and " Aww, don't you look lovely". :(

I felt well bad, then my family arrived and my great gram whose in a wheel chair made all the effort to come and see me, and I was scared off my head.

I spent half hour in Loo's drinking vodka and mull wine. :rolleyes: (which wasn't a good thing...)

So, I went out and started my little dance, but it was alright with other people dancing too, but when they left I felt like a reyt lemon in the middle alone.

Well anyways, I did Isis wings, and a bit of a solo, but I really felt I'd let everyone down espec my great gram, bless. I know the dances and music and can imrpovise alright, but when it comes to being infront of other people I flake out. :(

Do you have any tips on how to kind of... get out there and stuff? I'm loud enough everywhere else.:(

Cheers
Sara
 

Zorba

"The Veiled Male"
We have an affirmation written on the dressing room wall by the stage door about "You are beautiful. You are a beautiful dancer. You are perfect just the way you are."

Things like this CAN help - but at the end of the day the only surefire cure for stage fright is to go out there anyway and do your best. And screw 'em if they can't take a joke!

I was in a lineup once that was making its way out of the dressing room onto the stage. The gal behind me, when she caught sight of the stage moaned "Oh GOD, I can't do this". "Too Late" said the gal behind her in turn - as she gave "Miss terrified" a gentle push forward. "Miss Terrified" has since become a very good dancer and a frequent performer.

Even though I've been a performer all my life - I was literally babbling at my first little performance with the troupe! You can read about it on my WebSite if you're curious...

Hope this helps - hang in there!
 

Kharmine

New member
Hey, that's the start of some great family tales there, kiddo!

"Why, I remember when our little Sara could hardly bring herself to dance in public and now look at her!"

Unfortunately, it takes practice to get past the butterflies in the tummy and you ain't gonna get practice unless you keep trying. It does get easier each time, but if you are really stressed there are at least a couple of options to deal with stage terror -- taking a mild sedative like Valium is possible, but you'd have to try it first to get some idea of how well it works for you. (I've got a friend for whom it does absolutely nuthin'.)

And if you're on any other kind of meds, that may not be a good idea (a doctor would have to give you a prescription anyway).

You can also try hypnotherapy. Hypnosis has worked very well for me when I needed periodontal treatment and couldn't get nitrogen to alleviate my jitters. Ask a doctor or a dentist if they know of a reputable one. A good hypnotherapist will not only put some powerful suggestons in your brain to counter the fear but show you how you can hypnotize yourself when you need it. Some will even charge on a sliding scale, if cost is an issue.
 

Zumarrad

Active member
One of the best ideas I ever heard was to think, not "I'm so scared" but "I'm so excited". They're exactly the same feeling after all! We just interpret them differently.

Getting pissed beforehand is not a very good idea, since you're more likely to stumble or make a bad error (though you might not mind so much). I drink before performances, but try to keep it at the slight buzz level. Minimal booze before is best, really. I'm buying piccolos from now on, so I can only have two!

When you dance in front of your friends and family, they're just going to think you're lovely anyway. So don't be scared! If you know your music and you know what you're going to do, you really can't fail.
 

da Sage

New member
I will be dancing for my family this Christmas (at home), and I am super nervous too! I don't blame you at all.

Also my brother's old friend is a bellydance teacher. I have this nightmare that she shows up, and I'm forced to dance in front of her.:shok:

I haven't even got a choreography or a proper costume. My plan is to just do the choreographies we're working on in class, and wear a hip scarf over a black skirt and top. I still need to practice, and "fill in" the incomplete choreography. I hope this works.:pray:
 

Zorba

"The Veiled Male"
I haven't even got a choreography or a proper costume. My plan is to just do the choreographies we're working on in class, and wear a hip scarf over a black skirt and top. I still need to practice, and "fill in" the incomplete choreography. I hope this works.:pray:
One of my instructors has a saying that is appropos to this kind of situation: "Fake it until you make it!". In other words, don't take it too seriously and have some fun with it!
 

Recnadocir

New member
Try this affirmation Sara:
"I am an Olympian God(dess), and you (the audience) are privileged to come and worship me as I dance."

Once I figured this one out, years ago, I've never had stage fright since.
 

Aniseteph

New member
Try this affirmation Sara:
"I am an Olympian God(dess), and you (the audience) are privileged to come and worship me as I dance."

Once I figured this one out, years ago, I've never had stage fright since.

Ooh, that is BRILLIANT!!! Thank you :clap:
 

Shanazel

Moderator
Dear Sara, there is a train of thought that if you aren't nervous before a performance you simply don't comprehend the situation;) .

I don't worry too much about making mistakes if I am a soloist because no one but me knows what I have planned- lots of artistic freedom available and no one the wiser. I have even smiled my way out of a spectacular fall or two without anyone chucking rotten tomatoes at me.

I am not a proponent of chemical courage- it masks the problem instead of forcing you to work your way through it. We had student night at the rec center last night, and at the rehearsal, my dancers were joking about having a glass or two or four of wine before the performance. We decided against it because we feared the possible headlines in the next morning's paper:

Boozing Belly Babes Busted in Backstage Brawl.

Don't frash yourself about performing- you are there because you love to dance and your family and other audience members are there because they love to watch. It's a match made in heaven, and as for any naesayers who may be present- the hell with 'em. What do they know anyway?
 

taheya

New member
Hi sara, maybe try not to drink more than one before a performance, it may make you more likely to make mistakes (more important if you are in a group choreo). It also can make you very dry, i get a very dry throat before performing and i think alcohol would make it worse.
You know sometimes you have got to feel the fear and do it anyway! It will get easier and you will probably end up loving it! It is addictive!
Oh final tip, enjoy yourself...if you look like you are having fun your audience can feel that and enjoy your dance too.
 

da Sage

New member
One of my instructors has a saying that is appropos to this kind of situation: "Fake it until you make it!". In other words, don't take it too seriously and have some fun with it!

I need some practice faking it, then!
 

Zumarrad

Active member
Well, you know, there are ways and means of faking it. One method a lot of dancers seem to like is creating a dance persona and letting "her" do the dancing. One dancer I know, who is a lovely performer, takes her persona to the limit - she refers to her as "she" and speaks almost of being possessed by her. Her dance persona is younger, thinner, more beautiful and a better dancer than she is. Personally I think she doesn't do herself any favours by disassociating the genuinely engaging and skilled dancer she is from her genuine self, but if it works for her, who am I to judge?

I used to do this a bit when I first started to dance. I would pretend to be the greatest dancer ever, and think about how the audience loved me so much that it wouldn't matter if I went out there and waggled my finger. But because I was a truly gracious star, I would give them what they came for, which was my very best. That really worked for me. Pretending to be someone else - another dancer I admired, for instance - helped a lot at first too. Over time, a lot of the mindsets that were created by this thinking became second nature.

I know a lot of people decry the "pasted on smile" but I think forcing yourself to smile helps enormously. For one thing, it's impossible to feel *bad* when you are really smiling. You can fool your body into thinking you must be in a good mood. I used to have difficulty smiling for stage, so I used to pull ridiculous cheesy faces backstage before I was on. This would make me laugh to myself, resulting in a real smile. I also smile when I practice now, partly because it's training me out of that glowering concentration face, so that my default when I do a movement, should something put me off, is going to be a pleasant (hopefully) smile, not frowning or biting my lip.

A cool exercise to do long-term is to try stepping back from yourself at a time when you're experiencing a certain set of useful emotions - say, you're having a great time out on the town with your friends, or your heart is broken, or you feel vengeful, or whatever. If you can, try and notice what your face and body are doing when you experience this feeling. You can replicate that, and you will *feel* the same feeling, to a greater or lesser extent, when you perform. The next step is modifying it so it's not too full-on (unspeakable anguish, undiluted, is quite horrible to look upon), so you can entertain rather than devastate.
 

Aniseteph

New member
I also smile when I practice now, partly because it's training me out of that glowering concentration face, so that my default when I do a movement, should something put me off, is going to be a pleasant (hopefully) smile, not frowning or biting my lip.

:D :D :D I went to an Orit Maftsir workshop and I'm sure she defaults to Gorgeous Smile mode as soon as she starts dancing.

The pretending-to-be-someone-else thing is useful in real life (?) too; it's just a tool to make you realise you can do it after all. I think the dance persona is less of a "her" and "me" thing than a way to give yourself permission to step outside boundaries that you think other people are setting, or that you set yourself. I really shouldn't be dressing up in sequins and camelling around like I'm God's gift, but she can because she's not me. (Only she is really ;). Shhhh!)
 

Sara

New member
*Hugs* You guys proper cheer me up. :D

I was nearly upset a bit, but now I feel much better. :dance: I just wish I could be more confident. I'll be trying those things though lol.
 

Viv

New member
The advice I have given my students who are nervous before performing is to think of all their nervousness as being their shadow. As long as you are dancing it's under your feet like a rug and you are dancing on it. If your standing on your fear/nervousness it can't get to the rest of you. This is really effective when you perform somewhere outside where you actually cast a shadow.
It also might help to remember we've all been there making mistakes, tripping, forgetting choreographies, drawing blanks on what to do next in an improv, there isn't a mistake you can make that someone else hasn't done before you so when you do have an off performance or a blooper, your in good company ;P
 

Zorba

"The Veiled Male"
The closing line from a renn faire comedy show: "The more we practice, the better we fake it!"

Some very good thoughts here - if we get to pretend to be someone else, can I be Fahtiem?
 

Miss_Winnii

New member
my father is fakir in a circus and sometimes he took me on his shoulder when the performance ended, so I growed up wiuth the stage, i never been frightend on the stage.
You must just think, everything can happen, and they do happen, my cd crashed once, once my costume had a hole, i fell of the stage, i dont care!
 

Salome

Administrator
You can also try creating a schedule for yourself before a performance. Sometimes staying active and productive doesn't let the nervous energy build up the way it can if you are sitting around stewing about the performance. Maybe taking a bath, stretching, ironing your costume, getting your nails done, going for a run... I find physical activities help me expel nervous energy.
 

Zumarrad

Active member
Salome, I always tell my students to do that, with an emphasis on low-stress, feel-good, pampery activities, and they always laugh and say "it's easy to see you haven't got children!"

I totally agree though.
 

Ariella

New member
Hey Sara,
So this advice I gave to 6 year olds when they were nervous backstage before a play, and I think it can work nicely for nervous people of any age. What I told them is this: Take a lot of deep breaths through your nose, and out through your mouth. Focus only on the breathing. It's not just the focusing on the breathing that will calm you down, but the breathing through your nose will cool your brain off just slightly, making a bit of the nervousness go away.
Like other people said, I wouldn't advise alcohol before performance. It's important to be well hydrated, and drinking vodka sucks up the body's water supply. So while you might feel less nervous, your perfomance won't be as sharp.
And if all else fails, just remember all us ladies and gents on orientaldancer believe in you!
 
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