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  1. #1
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    Default Feel like I'm being watched...oh wait! I am!!!

    We had an 'incident' in class night where another student brought in their 'boyfriend'. I was gobsmacked! We don't have any written rules and our class is small, but in my mind I can't see how anyone would think this is a GOOD idea. I mean, I don't bring my Husband to class! LOL

    Seriously though, the guy seemed nice enough and slightly uncomfortable at first...he actually said he was was suppose to be on a 'date'. We were practicing our choreography for a hafla and he took it upon himself to give us feedback, which isn't unhelpful, but it's just all very weird to me!!!!

    I expressed my feelings to my teacher of course and to another student that I drive to class, but it doesn't feel like people are as bothered about it as I was/am. I had had a pretty crappy day and wasn't feeling very well anyway, and I'm ok around my bellydance friends when I'm like that, I feel comfortable being me and can be weepy or grumpy or whatever, but this guy was a complete stranger and I couldn't bring myself to smile or enjoy dancing much, although everyone else seemed ok.

    What I'd like to know from others is this ok? I've read a few bellydance class sites where it's a rule that you can't bring visitors into class once it's started. For comparison, I also accidentally discovered on the google search that at some pole dancing classes that popped up in my bellydance-themed search that it was fine and dandy (and encouraged) to bring visitors to those!

    Teacher said she's have a word with the girl, but I'm still irritated. What was she thinking?!!!

  2. #2
    Member HubicRuzz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oona View Post
    We had an 'incident' in class night where another student brought in their 'boyfriend'. I was gobsmacked! We don't have any written rules and our class is small, but in my mind I can't see how anyone would think this is a GOOD idea. I mean, I don't bring my Husband to class! LOL

    Seriously though, the guy seemed nice enough and slightly uncomfortable at first...he actually said he was was suppose to be on a 'date'. We were practicing our choreography for a hafla and he took it upon himself to give us feedback, which isn't unhelpful, but it's just all very weird to me!!!!

    I expressed my feelings to my teacher of course and to another student that I drive to class, but it doesn't feel like people are as bothered about it as I was/am. I had had a pretty crappy day and wasn't feeling very well anyway, and I'm ok around my bellydance friends when I'm like that, I feel comfortable being me and can be weepy or grumpy or whatever, but this guy was a complete stranger and I couldn't bring myself to smile or enjoy dancing much, although everyone else seemed ok.

    What I'd like to know from others is this ok? I've read a few bellydance class sites where it's a rule that you can't bring visitors into class once it's started. For comparison, I also accidentally discovered on the google search that at some pole dancing classes that popped up in my bellydance-themed search that it was fine and dandy (and encouraged) to bring visitors to those!

    Teacher said she's have a word with the girl, but I'm still irritated. What was she thinking?!!!
    Well it was rude of him to comment. But I've seen partners of dancers in class come in and watch, but that would normally be when musicians are playing as well.

    I do remember a couple of teachers here having a rule, if you bring your partner, they have to do the class as well.

  3. #3
    V.I.P. jenc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HubicRuzz View Post
    I do remember a couple of teachers here having a rule, if you bring your partner, they have to do the class as well.
    Nice one!!

  4. #4
    Moderator Farasha Hanem's Avatar
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    Even if the visitor was "nice," somehow this just doesn't seem like a good idea to me. If you ask me, not only was the student in question rude to the class, I think she was rude to the boyfriend, too. They were supposed to be on a date, and last time I was in the dating scene (about a dinosaur's age ago), dates are meant for the couple to focus on each other, not to try and kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. He was uncomfortable being there, so Brainless Girlfriend obviously didn't consider anyone's feelings.

    Perhaps the teacher ought to give this matter more thought and come up with some sort of rules regarding visitors.

    We have visitors from time to time, but except for three, they've all been female. One babysits students' little ones while they're in class, others are ladies considering taking bellydance class and either quietly sit/stand in the back to see what classes are like, or they can stand in the hallway and watch through the observation windows. The three male visitors have been one doumbek player who graciously plays for us now and then, and the other two are my teacher's 'tween boys who are into jewelry making, so they set up a booth of sorts in the hallway and display their beautiful handiwork for sale for us to purchase after class, if something pretty and blingy catches our eye.
    Last edited by Farasha Hanem; 09-07-2010 at 09:56 AM.

  5. #5
    AFK Moderator ~Diana~'s Avatar
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    When I used to be a student no visitors were allowed unless the student asked both the teacher and other students in the class long before hand, AND they all agree that it was fine.

    I don't feel her "date" should have been giving critiqing unless he was a dancer himself. I do not know of anyone outside this art form that understands it enough to tell you what your are doing wrong or need to improve on.

    In my opinion it was very rude of her to bring her date there and I would have asked her to ask him to leave or at least hang outside while in a waiting area while you practiced.

    p.s. where was the teacher in all of this? Did she not attend your class?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    1. Beginning dancer. Knows nothing.
    2. Intermediate dancer. Knows everything. Too good to dance with beginners.
    3. Hotshot dancer. Too good to dance with anyone.
    4. Advanced dancer. Dances everything. Especially with beginners
    .
    ~ Attributed to Dick Crum, a folk dance teacher ~

  6. #6
    V.I.P. lizaj's Avatar
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    Mrs Grumpy here. How dare teacher allow the situation without the permission of every student and how dare the visitor even think it correct to give feedback. Classes are for participants,students and not for spectators.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Gia al Qamar's Avatar
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    I have an absolute rule that NO casual observers are allowed in class...period. The studio is a 'sacred' place where all my students can feel free to express themselves without fear of being watched or judged...that someone would encourage otherwise to me is astounding.

  8. #8
    V.I.P. da Sage's Avatar
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    This is not OK.

    Give your teacher a chance to deal with it. She may speak to Little Miss Exhibitionist privately, and you may never hear about it. Or, she may make an "official" rule (either this session or for next session).

    Seriously, I would not worry about it unless it happens again. There is a good chance that the teacher is every bit as mortified as you were, but she was blindsided. She may need a day or so to decide how to handle it. If it happens again, speak to the teacher privately.

    EDIT - I didn't read carefully enough, now I see the teacher had a word with the girl. I'm sorry you had to deal with a strange observer in class.
    The bitchy part of me wants to suggest that you write up 2 lists for Miss Clueless - one being a list of appropriate dating activities, another a list of inappropriate dating activities. But I doubt she's much for taking advice, so I wouldn't want you to waste your time.
    Last edited by da Sage; 09-07-2010 at 06:05 PM.

  9. #9
    Premium Member Aniseteph's Avatar
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    No no no no no... 100% not OK and very rude - assuming everyone is happy to be free entertainment and/or won't be put off by it.

    I'd have been very, very annoyed, especially with the feedback - WTF?!

    And yeah, unless he is a dance enthusiast it's a TERRIBLE idea for a date.

  10. #10
    V.I.P. Kashmir's Avatar
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    Not - it is not on. This isn't entertainment! Totally inappropriate and the teacher should have said something. Class should be a safe environment to try new things and even be a total dork - you don't want to be watched (and judged!!) while exploring and learning.

    My rule is no observers. In special situations I allow people to bring guests as (paying) participants.

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