The don'ts in belly dance business

[goddessyasaman]

I have heard about belly dancers who let people put money in thier belts while they dance, I think this is a don't...we are not strippers and this is not helping our art form.

I only saw it for the first time this week and I was upset to see a Belly dancer who called herself pro do this sort of thing.

What do you lady think about this one and what other don'ts do you think is bad for belly dance?

 

[Amanda (was Aziyade)]

Body tipping is highly controversial. In some areas of the country it is standard practice. In others it's completely unacceptable. It really depends on your own community and the standards that are set.

Because the controversy seems regional, I would not say it's unprofessional to take body tips. But you can certainly decide for yourself if you want to accept them or not. I don't, but that's my choice.


The most unacceptable behavior (to me) would include undercutting other dancers. That is the least professional thing a dancer can do, and it far outweighs the "crimes" of not wearing a cover-up or being caught smoking.

 

[mahsati_janan]

I have heard about belly dancers who let people put money in thier belts while they dance, I think this is a don't...we are not strippers and this is not helping our art form.

I only saw it for the first time this week and I was upset to see a Belly dancer who called herself pro do this sort of thing.

What do you lady think about this one and what other don'ts do you think is bad for belly dance?

Costume tipping is a contentious subject for sure, but it is extremely common for professional belly dancers who work in a club/restaurant environment to accept tips this way. It seems to be more common with certain cultural audiences, but it is not related to stripping. Both money showers and body tipping (at the sides of the belt/in armbands usually) are common.

Some don’ts for professionals:
· Undercut for performance or instruction
· Pass on false information about this dance knowingly
· Wear costumes that are inappropriate for the audience or performance
· Backstab, bad-mouth, or otherwise be unprofessional in your dealings with others
· Copy other people’s choreographies or performances without permission
· Misrepresent the style, type, origin, or history of your dance or performance style
· Steal (from anyone – other dancers, owners, clubs, vendors, etc.)
· Lie (to anyone – other dancers, owners, clubs, vendors, etc.)
· Do anything in costume that would reflect poorly on this dance form in that situation and area
There are certainly many more, but they all really boil down to a simple do list.

1) Do act professionally and for the common good of your art form.
2) Do care about this dance form and others who are on this journey
3) Be good. Do good.

 

[~Diana~]

I thought that act was a cultural practice?

 

[Amanda (was Aziyade)]

What I've seen from the culture is the old uncle/grandpa licking a coin and sticking it on a little girl's head. Kinda gross, but his way of telling her she's cute.

I have not seen anyone do this to an adult or a teen. Just my experience though.

 

[LadyLoba]

It's my understanding that it depends on the venue and the individual dancer's preferences.

If I were going to perform as a belly dancer, I would not want anyone, male or female, sticking a tip in my costume....but that isn't directly related to belly dance. I also cannot stand anyone putting their hand into my pocket or grabbing at my clothes, even if they're trying to be helpful and straighten my shirt for me. I'd rather they just tap me on the shoulder and tell me if I'm showing something I didn't intend to.

If people want to tip, and you don't want their hands at your belt or strap...you could always put out your hand when they reach out with the money and tuck it into your belt yourself...that should politely send the message you don't want their hands in your belt. And anyone who pretends they don't understand...or if you don't mind a tip tucked into your belt, but they ram their hand down farther than necessary, keep it in there too long, or do anything else that makes you believe they were trying to sneak a feel against your wishes...you have the right to avoid that person no matter how much they paid to see the performance or tipped you and to report it to the management of the business or event.

 

[goddessyasaman]

All this is ture with what you lady's have said yet I guess this is why I could never dance for a place that people would want to tip me, as a dancer I do not wished to be tipped even though this is said to be fine for cultural audiences, in america belly dancers fight agaist having our style thought of being related to anything like a stripper, thats my only point on that, if you must take a tip while dancing then in the hand or just it being thrown on the floor would be better.

and the lists i have seen so far are true I agree with these. I don't like to see these happen either.

 

[teela]

The tipping of money was addressed in Volume 3 of secrets of the stage. I know that when I'm in town and eating at a restaurant with dancers, they are tipped by placing the money in the costume but its tucked in the shoulder straps usually and the dancer directs the tipper to where she wants it put. I've seen folks who recommend dancing with a basket so folks can put the money in the basket.

 

[Greek Bonfire]

Some clubs have tip jars if you want to tip the dancer. I've seen other dancers have tips put in their arm bands or in little pouches on their costumes.

 

[Shakti]

I used to dance at a restaurant and they presented a special envelope with the bill to tip the dancer...

I performed at an Wild India wedding here, (Indians who were from Egypt) and I had a man put a dollar in his mouth and wanted me to take it with my mouth..I told him to get out of my face. I have seen this dollar in the mouth thing by drunk men at weddings in India, with wedding marching bands so it is not just a freak incident. Creeeeepy! All in all it was a great gig, the dance floor was covered in cash..I nearly slipped.

I would say my biggest don't is a skirt peeking through the top of a dance belt.

 

[Ariella]

Costume tipping is definitely controversial. Some dancers like it, and see it as a way to interact with the audience and a method to keep people from stealing tips from the floor. Other dancers don't like it because they think it gives belly dance a bad image, or because they just don't like being touched.

From what I've seen in Boston, it is cultural for Greeks and Armenians, but not Lebanese and Egyptians. I'm not 100% sure about this, but I think costume tipping is rarely done in the middle east.

Costume tipping is also complicated for restaurants and other venues in the USA because according to the rules of most states, whenever the body of a female performer is touched it is considered to be adult entertainment, which requires a different set of rules and a different business license.

I personally do not take tips in the costume because I don't like being touched and I think it's easier that way.

 

[Belly Love]

in america belly dancers fight agaist having our style thought of being related to anything like a stripper, thats my only point on that,

I find this subject very interesting at the moment because I came across a picture yesterday of a belly dancer at an event and she had dollar bills stuck everywhere... everywhere. They were in her bra by her boobs, in the center front part of her belt... and all I could think of was, "She looks like a stripper". I wanted to post the pic (without face showing) and get opinions, but I felt kinda bad about it.

Why on earth would anyone let some random man (or woman) stick money in your cleavage while giving a professional performance? I don't know if I would feel comfortable taking money on my body at all (unless it was a hip pouch or something) but I don't see anything wrong with others doing it (I actually started a thread on this same subject awhile back). But the cleavage? That's where I draw the line. I think it's skanky.

I can see how it would bother others accepting it anywhere on the body. I suppose it all depends on how you view it. In my culture, and many others, the breasts are considered something sexual on a woman's body, so for a stranger to put their hands there... :naghty:!

And money mouth to mouth- YUCK! First off, unsanitary. Second, innapropriate. Money passed by mouth, in my mind, is meant to be teasing in a sexual manner... I think the idea is that when you do it, your lips end up touching and you can kiss. Definitely not into playing those little games with the audience and I think it's disrespectful for an audience member to try it. They could even be thinking that you would grab it with your cleavage! Ugh. Okay, I've gone on enough about this...

 

[~Diana~]

Ok I have chated with others I know who do do this kind of tipping. However they all stated that they do NOT let anyone put the money in their clothing. They will either kindly accept it from the individual and place it in their clothes themselves, or they have someone walking around who will collect it for them after they have gracefully motioned the acceptance and thanks while dancing.

Again it appears to be cultural to some people so in that case I have nothing against it. However I would not do it but if it did occur I would do as what the girls I talked to above do. I respect other cultures but I also expect them to respect mine. When two cultures meet they both must adapt to each other. Both must give and take.

 

[goddessyasaman]

I did hear a good one here, About having a jar of some kind on tables for the performing Belly dancer, but I know now I will never work in a any place that would take tips, thats just me I'm not saying no one else should, I like to perform for the art, on stage or stage of my making, when I'm dancing I don't want someone to hand money out to me, If the place I perform at pays me thats one thing but tipping I just can't do it, even though I have seen one of my fav Belly dancers do this I still would not.

But thats just me

 

[Greek Bonfire]

Speaking from experience, I once danced at a place where people were tipping me by putting it in my costume. At the time, I was a little too intimidated to say not to do it that way. But I'll tell you, I didn't like it. As goddessyasam said, that also is me.

 

[Jane]

I must be a minority! When I was *ahem* younger and doing restaurant work, I accepted tips in my costume. I had criteria and standards of course. I have never danced anywhere sleezy. Upscale places only where the staff and owner was respectful. Side of hip and back of bra strap only and mostly women and kids were the tippers anyway. I got a lot more tips in the belt than I ever did in a tip jar or a basket. Significantly more. Like $5 or less vs. $100 or more. I just looked at it as fun way to interact with the audience and traditional. It's not icky or stripper-esque if done gracefully.

I play a game with my students, called Mahmud's Falafel Hut, which includes the correct and polite way to accept costume tips or tips in a basket.

With all these new lycra costumes with no belt, where the heck do the tips go these days? :think:

 

[Nejmeh]

I haven`t come across a situation where anyone tipped me for dancing but if it occurred: For me, especially no tipping in the belt, also not under my brastraps. I think I would prefer under my armbracelets, or just handing it over.

 

[Belly Love]

I wonder if some sort of pouch could be sewn into skirts to accept tips. Like making a slit in the skirt or belt, then sewing another layer of material underneath the skirt - like a pocket? I suppose this might only work with non-fitted skirts. The extra material full of money would look bulky under a fitted one. Or, making a detatchable pouch to the belt- one that blends with the belt so it's not to obvious. I have a leather belt like this (not for bd) that has one of these. It looks really cool and could probably be used in a tribal style.

Ooooh, that might be a good bd product- pouches that are sleek and slender that attach to one's belt for accepting tips... or carrying money, ID, etc...

 

[Darshiva]

That's a very clever idea, BellyLove.

Tipping really isn't the culture in Australia so I doubt I'll ever get the chance to try it out. But if you do, please let us know how it works out.

 

[Belly Love]

Thank you

I wonder if anyone here has done something similar and how it worked...