First class fears...

Taslin

New member
I am just now coming to terms with the fact that i am pretty terrified for some reason to seek out the BD classes in my area that i would like to. I have some workshops i've signed up for and the dates, addresses, and prices of classes in my area that id like to take. Im fortunate to live in a city with lots of BD options, but not sure if ill feel comfortable. I keep making excuses and putting off going. Ive already done the i'll go when i loose a few lbs. well ive lost weight. Once i didnt go because i was like "i wonder if they have a dressing room" ill need to be changed prior to class. no biggie. Just an excuse.

Im sooo nervous for some reason. I'm somewhat new to the area...im definitely not local, and im older than a college student. Im basically afraid that i wont fit in. Ive taken classes other places and even performed dance (non-BD) but im so scared to take the leap and get involved in the BD community in my area. Im basically afraid that they'll not be friendly or that i wont "fit in" (causing unfriendliness).

These fears may be completely irrational and normal as most people have first class anxieties. And most ironically (for ME dance class), im scared that the classes wont be diverse: nothing wrong with sticking out like a sore thumb, but its intimidating at first,lol.

Basically im seeking any helpful antecdotes or similar stories of how fellow dancers got over the fear of attending that first class. Or tips to help me feel more prepared.

This was a pretty vulnerable post on my part so please be kind. And thanks in advance for any advice offered.

Taslin:)
 
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Shanazel

Moderator
Go forth and conquer, honey. Most people in a beginning class are so self-conscious that they won't even notice you are, too. :D Just wear something comfortable in a color you like, put on your best smile, and look forward to a great new experience. We mostly find what we're looking for in new situations, so expect something good.

I've taught for many years and my classes are filled with diverse people: my youngest student was about eight, my oldest well on her way to eighty. They all fit in beautifully with each other thanks to a shared love of BD.

You'll be just fine.
 

Imeera

New member
I had the same fears as you when I started, my partner walks me to class, and he almost had to drag me to the first class I was so scared :lol: Will I hate it? Will I not fit in? Will everyone else be better than me? Will I make a fool of myself? And manymany more :lol: But when I went, I was amazed how welcoming the teacher and the other students were. Out of a class of six, only two others were under 24 it seemed. All shapes and sizes and stories and stages of life and they were all amazing! I didn't make a fool of myself, I fit in perfectly, there were beginners to advanced students and I loved it! Though, if you have a bad experience, know that not all will be like this and never give up!!

Chances are however, all classes will be great, you will find one that suits you perfectly. You will go and have the time of your life.

Just do it! It will make you feel amazing and powerful! :D
 

LilithNoor

New member
I went to my first class with a friend, which definitely took the pressure off not knowing anyone, so if you can find someone who's interested, that's a help.

I've also been to classes on my own though, and that's been fine too. Most classes seem to have a couple of particularly talkative members who go out of their way to greet newbies. A couple of new starters at my class spoke to the teacher beforehand so she knew they would be coming, so she came prepared to speak to them beforehand and welcome them.

If you're worried about being thrown in at the deep end it may help to check if the lessons are divided up into terms/semesters. Here in the UK we've just split up for Easter break, and a new term starts in May. We'll be starting a new choreo and new moves, so it's a good time for a new starter to join as they will learn along with us. if they come in July they may find it all a bit overwhelming.

I hope we manage to talk you into it- it's really so much fun and you will make so many new friends!
 

Greek Bonfire

Well-known member
You won't know until you try. At first, no one will probably notice you since you are new. But if you do encounter groups that are not friendly, go out and look for another one. There are both good and bad, it's just a matter of finding one that you are comfortable with. And don't listen to others, but make up your own mind. What one person is comfortable with, another is not.
 

Taslin

New member
I am going to do it! you have no idea how a few "ive been there" stories help. I actually dont have a friend to go with me-this is another reason why i so desperately want to attend. I need to get involved in my new area and make friends.

I'll probably post an "I did it thread!" to hope other bashful dancers, once i get my arse into a class.

Im not even embarrassed of my dance abilities, just shy of the new experience/people. It is normal to feel this way and i can do it. Wheeew. Okay.

thanks ladies!
 

Greek Bonfire

Well-known member
I'm basically shy too, which is why I think I dance because I can express myself better. But I've had some bad experiences, as we all have, yet we persevere and also keep looking for better venues, at least I do.
 

geekgoddess

New member
I used to be painfully shy in new situations - especially in a new class environment where I was a beginner at something. I was constantly afraid of making a terrible mistake and everyone whispering how awful I was - or something like that.

What helped me is coming to grips with the fact that I WOULD make mistakes - and that was ok. I was petrified that my class experience wouldn't be 'perfect' - and I had to realize that it's ABSOLUTELY FINE if it's not. And it's true - most people are too busy worrying about their own appearance that they really don't notice you.

Although I will advise you to give a class a few weeks before you decide to try somewhere else due to 'unfriendliness'. I've been going to the same class for about a month now and am just now starting to be on a first name basis with the girls there. We chat now and I've even exchanged email addy's with a few. But it took a few weeks to get to that point. Everyone is probably just as nervous as you are and it takes a few shared experiences before everyone opens up. :D

Good luck and let us know how it goes!
 

Mosaic

Super Moderator
Been there done that:D When I first started I procrastinated for a whole term, I finally made myself go, I told myself the worst that can happen is everyone would be totally horrid and I only needed to be in the class for an hour and I never needed to return or to see those people again. Well 2 of the ladies in that class are my very best friends, and we have gone from that teacher to 2 others since that time, we dance together, play together our husbands are good friends and that first hour of class was the friendliest hour that one could imagine. I now teach as well (started last year) with the encouragement of 2 teachers. I take 2 classes a week and teach 2 classes a week. I am forever addicted to BD. Just take yourself by the hand and drag those reluctant feet to class, I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised.

If you come across a not so friendly person, you will undoubtedly find 3 friendly ones and you don't have to even worry about the unfriendly one, but I think you'll find everyone friendly and possibly some new students who are just as nervous as you are:D My advise don't let yourself miss out on a wonderful and joyful experience .... just do it!

Rather than worry about changing for your class, wear a pair of smart yoga pants and a top ( t/shirt or spaghetti strap top) or if you prefer a skirt wear that, then you don't have to worry about changing just take your hipscarf with you and put it on when you get there.

We will all look forward to your report on your first experience.
~Mosaic
 

Taslin

New member
Mosiac, thank you! Im literally telling myself over and over the things in your response.

I really appreciate the outfit suggestions. You know ive got SO many decent practice outfits that would make me feel good about myself, i just got so silly nervous that i needed to hear some practicality (like, what to wear to class and what to bring).

I will set out some yoga pants and matching tank, i already have some cute non-jingly hip scarves.You know ive been putting together a bellydance class bag, i just need to set it near the door,lol.

I am hoping to gain friends, even one friend. I plan on putting as much positivity out as i can.
 

Mosaic

Super Moderator
Yes do set your BD bag near the door, then you will decide it isn't going to to a class by itself, it needs you to carry it:D
~Mosaic
 

Bast

New member
Mosiac, thank you! Im literally telling myself over and over the things in your response.

I really appreciate the outfit suggestions. You know ive got SO many decent practice outfits that would make me feel good about myself, i just got so silly nervous that i needed to hear some practicality (like, what to wear to class and what to bring).

I will set out some yoga pants and matching tank, i already have some cute non-jingly hip scarves.You know ive been putting together a bellydance class bag, i just need to set it near the door,lol.

I am hoping to gain friends, even one friend. I plan on putting as much positivity out as i can.

I am painfully shy and went through all of the thoughts and fears you expressed in your earlier post. The thought of putting myself out there in a new situation, on my own was just terrifying.

My teacher was fantastic and introduced everyone before the class started which helped to break the ice. Then, once things got started I was too busy following to have time to think about myself!

Wearing something you are comfortable in is very important. It helps to give you that extra bit of confidence to wear your best smile and dive in. As for diversity, most BD groups I have seen are very diverse. At one stage we had in my class a 10 yr old girl up to a 60 year old and all body shapes represented.

I wish you all the best, I have made some lovely friends and I know you will too ;)

Now I am going through something similar as I contemplate taking a second class with a new teacher in a new area...I haven't had the courage to even ring the teacher yet!
 

Yame

New member
Hi Taslin, fellow shy person here. Acknowledge your fears but don't let them stop you from doing what you want to do.

I've been belly dancing for 4 years now, but still every time I have to perform at a new place for a different crowd, or attend a new class, or a workshop with someone I've never taken workshops from before, or a private class with anybody, I get very nervous. It's not knowing what awaits me that makes me insecure.

But, if I allowed this nervousness to keep me from doing those things, I would not have grown as a dancer. It's my determination to keep learning more and keep getting better that gives me the courage to try out those new things. And, let me tell you, I have never regretted doing any of it.

You'll be fine! Just do it! :)
 

astro_girl

New member
I can relate to this! Though, I just took the plunge and added a 2nd teacher and am SO glad I did. She's very technique oriented as I'm used to, and is a great compliment to the style of my first teacher.

If I might share a similar anecdote that just happened today: I started a BD conditioning class at a gym across town today. I called ahead to ask if it was more of a technique class or a fitness class, to which the receptionist didn't hesitate to reply it was the latter. So off I went in search of a fun workout.

I got into the class, and the instructor was all decked out in gothic attire, and for a health club "fitness" class she claimed that this was "all technique, honey". Now, I am no BD pro, but I've been taking for almost 6 years from some very technique oriented dancers (are you familiar w/Sadie and Kaya?...SO lucky to have them here), and today's instructor could not stay away from me, correcting my snake arms and hip circles (she was doing some strange hybrid half figure 8, and calling it a hip circle), her snake arms were rising clear above hear head (which we were always taught to keep all movement below shoulders and angle elbows to the back), and her other hip was all over the place, as were her knees. Again, different people have different styles, but I KNOW at least 2 of my previous instructors would have been all over me to change if they saw me doing what she was teaching the class. Her instruction was very fast-paced, and she left out the basics going right into combo moves. She ended the class (mind you, a first for a bunch of the girls!) with a rather tribal looking choreography and calling it Egyptian cabaret.

Now, I don't mean to digress too much, but it took all my might to NOT adopt exactly what she was doing technique-wise while she was standing right in front of me, but to STILL smile and be quiet and respectful to her as an instructor. I did not go and do my own moves (I'm aware this can be threatening and distracting for some instructors), but I have it so ingrained in my head to do certain basic moves in a technical way (isolate hips, don't involve knees, don't involve torso, etc.)...so, my own nerves about starting another class were confirmed in fear that I was being pointed out for having a different technique (and corrected for it, to my slight embarrassment). But, the moral of the story was that I survived, and ended up having a decent time getting a workout...realizing that this was my choice to go and I was having fun. And I learned that not all instructors are technical...ha! ;)
 
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Taslin

New member
Thank you all so much for sharing. Hearing other's experiences has a calming effect.

Astro_girl that is like a first class nightmare come true! and you did survive...and hopefully now you even laugh. I was actually chuckling as i read that, i know it must have felt awful but in type it sounds like a situation that is soo bad you just have to laugh over it later. much later. lol.

I know Sadie is controversial but i am taking a workshop with her in Columbus, Oho in May hopefully. She is very technique oriented as you say and because of her technical skills i hope to be able to attend.
 

Taslin

New member
I DiD IT! Totally loved my first class with this instructor.

i will also say that it really became glaringly obvious what u can NOT get through self teaching from dvd's like i have been as of late. She explains the names, artists and background of each song and is very very good at making sure we are aware of what style at all times, and takes class feedback on preferences of style. Dvd's just cant give ass diverse of an education as they are usually 1 topic/style, and they focus on technique.

I also bought an instructional cd explaining the music. it was great.
The class flew by, i cant wait to go back!

thanks for the push ladies, i had my bag by the door and no excuses :eek:)
 
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Yame

New member
i will also say that it really became glaringly obvious what u can NOT get through self teaching from dvd's like i have been as of late. She explains the names, artists and background of each song and is very very good at making sure we are aware of what style at all times, and takes class feedback on preferences of style. Dvd's just cant give ass diverse of an education as they are usually 1 topic/style, and they focus on technique.
Glad to hear you finally took the plunge and that it worked out for you. It sounds to me like you are lucky to have found a wonderful teacher.

I just want to add that although it's true one can't get an education from DVD's that is as well-rounded as the education a teacher like yours can give, there are a LOT of teachers out there who teach precisely the way you describe DVDs... a focus on moves, with very little background information and even very little feedback.

Thankfully, you didn't get one of those teachers! Enjoy your class!
 

astro_girl

New member
I also bought an instructional cd explaining the music. it was great.

Which cd is it? I'm curious to know as I'm always wanting to learn more than my teachers have time to tell us about.

SO glad you had a very positive first experience...now you're hooked!?!?
 
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Taslin

New member
Astro i am for sure hooked.

The CD and companion DVD are "shake em up bellydance drum solos" with her friend Carmine Gouda and performances by Raja and sarah skinner. I got the CD-so i can learn artists, styles and etc. info is listed w/ each song.
It Came with a "rythm response card" that teaches the doum, tek, ka (pictures of hand placement on the drum included) and has rythms such as masqum, baladi, saidi and ayub? Karachi written out.<Greek to me btw,lol. I mentioned i was interested in getting more knowledgable of the music so this one seemed a fit to purchase. if i sound ignorant on the topic its because i am, i totally look forward to learning more about the music.

Im pretty pleased with what i gained in one class :eek:)
 
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Yshka

New member
Wow Taslin, congratulations on finding an amazing class and finally getting yourself to go!!! Is it Sadie you're studying with? I haven't had a chance to study with her, but from fellow dancers who did I hear she is a good teacher and pretty amazing technique-wise! :)

As a fellow shy-person as well I can totally relate, as I went to class because my teacher-to-be at that time (my history teacher in high school, lol) basically killed any and all excuses I had for not going. :lol:

Happy I did it, looking back over 8 years of dancing now :cool:. It changed my life completely.

Good luck and have fun on your bellydance-journey!! It sounds like you've found the perfect fit and are eager to learn. Also, have a great time at your first hafla's, please report back! :D
 
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