confused...doubting myself a bit

[Caelyn]

I've been studying for almost a year now, and the one piece of consistent feedback/commentary that I get is that my mannerisms/style/stage presence are "cute". Sometimes this is said as a compliment ("that was adorable"); other times it's followed by "you should work on that" or "belly dance is supposed to be sensual" or "this is tribal; we're supposed to look a bit more imposing", things like that.

*shrug* my personality does tend toward cute, silly, lighthearted, etc. and I don't want to change that or try to prevent it from coming through when I dance. Trying to 'make it more sensual' feels really fake and stupid. (Of course it looks awesome when coming from other dancers who naturally have that vibe. but I don't, and so it feels and looks like I'm trying really hard to be something I'm not.)

Is it really a problem? Should I try harder to change, or just embrace it? Are there any dancers you know of (on YouTube, perhaps?) whose style also tends more toward cute than anything else? (Some inspiration in the form of seeing other dancers with a similar style to mine would be awesome...)

 

[Mosaic]

Personally I say stick with what is comfortable and who you are, as long as it is fitting into the troupe/group style, go with it it. But having said that If you are a tribal girl, maybe they are looking for a more 'earthy' attitude, and "cute" may not feel/look right to the tribal ladies. I would still go with who you are but maybe try to bring some of the strong earthiness into your dance.

Not being tribal I can't think of anyone to recommend to you. Do you have any videos of you dancing on youtube maybe if we could see you dance we can advise you a little easier.
~Mosaic

 

[Caelyn]

I don't have anything on YouTube, but there is a hafla coming up next month and I want to try to see if I can get someone to film our performance. (Thanks for reminding me about that, btw!)

Sometimes I wonder if it's just that the studio where I'm training isn't the right fit for me. Before I moved cities/states, I was taking classes at a wonderful tribal-fusion-oriented studio and I felt like I fit right in with their style, etc. it was very fun and upbeat and quirky, and being more toward adorable than sensual was never a problem.

In this studio, their style is very slow and anchored and serious (no smiling while you dance!). And the teachers are very much into new age stuff, and I am very much NOT. I just want to dance; when I hear about goddesses and 'the sacred pelvis' and whatnot, it makes me feel like this: :wall:

bleh. Writing this makes me realize how much I miss my old teacher. Maybe this out-of-place feeling of "I'm all wrong" just means that I would fit in better at a different studio?

 

[Kashmir]

In this studio, their style is very slow and anchored and serious (no smiling while you dance!). And the teachers are very much into new age stuff, and I am very much NOT. I just want to dance; when I hear about goddesses or 'the sacred pelvis' or dancing through the elements of the earth, it makes me feel like this: :wall:

bleh. Writing this makes me realize how much I miss my old teacher. Maybe this out-of-place feeling of "I'm all wrong" just means that I would fit in better at a different studio?

Yes - sounds like you want to do some belly dance! Have a look around - surely there is something available.

 

[Mosaic]

I agree with Kashmir, I think where you are now is probably not the right place for you. Hope you can find somewhere else more suitable, if not, just pick their brains so to speak for all you want to know, grab a couple of good DVDs and practice at home until something more suited to you comes along.

I'd be feeling very Bleh! as well if I was being fed sacred pelvis etc:lol:
~Mosaic

 

[LilithNoor]

In this studio, their style is very slow and anchored and serious (no smiling while you dance!).

that makes me sad. I can't imagine being told not to let my joy at dancing show in my face, especially by someone who is at the same time exhorting me to get in touch with my inner goddess woman.

For what it's worth, everyone in the ATS troupe I'm learning with smiles, even the Goths!

 

[walladah]

Never trust absolutely anyone who tells you

a) not to dance
b) not to smile

The story you tell us is under the b case. I think this has been the oldfashioned tribal fusion style of let's say mid 1990s-mid 2000. However, i know that even the teachers who are really into "goddess" philosophy they never use this in the lesson, not only because this might be a waste of time during class, but because you can learn (tribal) bellydance and any bellydance type without adopting the philosophy of the teacher.

So, maybe you are in a classroom that you are not very confortable with and you might seek another tribal teacher or bellydance teacher. By the way, smiling is not obligatory but is not prohibited either...

 

[Aniseteph]

I can't imagine being told not to let my joy at dancing show in my face, especially by someone who is at the same time exhorting me to get in touch with my inner goddess woman.

Quite... don't tell me what my inner goddess is like rotest: :naghty:

I don't know much about tribal, but the times I've wanted to dabble have been when I've seen groups who are a bunch of individuals dancing together and sparking off each others personalities. It looks like fun to do and it's fun to watch. Massed po-faced earth mother goddessery - not so much.

 

[Caelyn]

I don't know much about tribal, but the times I've wanted to dabble have been when I've seen groups who are a bunch of individuals dancing together and sparking off each others personalities.

exactly! that's just what got me hooked and wanting to try dancing in the first place. I was playing guitar and singing with a band that played for a dance troupe. It was one of those where everyone was feeding off each other's energy, fantastic stage presence, you just wanted to jump up and dance with them all the time despite not knowing how because it looked like so much fun.

I think I'm going to stay at the current studio till the end of the year; might as well. I can still learn a lot of technique from the teachers here (and just selectively ignore the sacred-pelvis stuff, and smile on the inside). I am going to Chicago at the beginning of next year (I do contract work for my day job so lots of moving, though hopefully I can stay there for longer than usual) and am over the moon about getting to take classes there with a troupe that I have admired for a long time.

Thanks for listening and for the feedback; sometimes it helps just to write it all out and be able to have a new realization. It might sound like a "duh" thing, but I had totally not thought about the fact that every studio and every student troupe has its own style and vibe, and it's at least partially about finding which one(s) you fit in with.

 

[Shiro]

I don't think it's right for someone to tell you not to smile. Even with tribal, belly dance is an expression of joy and happiness, not of sensuality and sexiness (in my opinion, although I have no problem with sensuality in belly dance). To me, belly dance is meant to be used to express yourself through dancing. If you were expressing sorrow, it'd be understandable not to smile. I'd try to find somewhere else to learn. I would feel so miserable not being able to smile when I'm enjoying my dancing. I may feel like a hippo sometimes when I work out, but belly dance is where I truly feel at home. It's hard not to smile when I'm doing what I love! I assume it's the same with everyone else, too.

I'm sure you're a great dancer, and I bet your dancing brings joy to people who watch you, especially if you smile and let your personality shine through. It's hard to be doing something you love, but having to fake a different personality to make other people feel better.

 

[Yame]

To anyone who says belly dance isn't "supposed" to be cute, I have two words:

Suheir Zaki

 

[Amanda (was Aziyade)]

To anyone who says belly dance isn't "supposed" to be cute, I have two words:

Suheir Zaki

AMEN!!!!!!


And I'm sorry, but Tribal just don't get much cuter than Awalim Tribal dance company in Atlanta:

Awalim at the GA RenFest - YouTube

 

[Yame]

Now, to the OP, I say:

Different belly dancers have different personalities and, as a result, different stage personas. You can develop your expression on stage and learn how to project better, how to express better, how to allow your personality to show through better, how to connect with the audience better. You can learn those things, you can improve those things, and all of that comes with lots of practice and experience and good guidance.

You CAN'T fundamentally change your personality, though. Unless you are a wonderfully talented actress, your "stage persona" will merely be an extension of your personality and who you are at your core. And there is nothing wrong with that... don't let anybody tell you otherwise. We absolutely do not have to all look the same.

So if your personality is cute and goofy, you can play that up on the stage. If your personality is sensual and alluring, you can play that up. Elegant, play it up! Funny, play it up! We all have different elements to our personality and we are all much better off playing up these elements rather than trying to tone them down and attempt to act in a way that isn't natural. If you play up your cuteness and you will be the "cutest" belly dancer many people have ever seen. If you try to tame it and instead just go for "sensual," you will just be another wannabe who's trying too hard, and the ladies who really are naturally sensual will have the upper hand on you, anytime.

I should also add that, when you are being yourself, and when you are confident in that self, people will enjoy watching you... there is a certain sensuality about that, too.

 

[Caelyn]

omg, thank you so much for the suggestions--I looked at a bunch of YT clips of Awalim and they are amazing. Suheir Zaki is lovely too.

Yame, thanks also for the wise words. You are right, of course.

 

[Shanazel]

I am going to play devil's advocate for a while.

If you choose to dance with a troupe or class, you have to be prepared to go along with the stage persona of that group. While the style of this group might not appeal to you or to most of us, it does express an ethos that would not be properly expressed by cuteness or flirty smiles. You are just in the wrong place and everyone will be best served when like water you find your own level. But if you are going to stay with the class until the end of the year, quit fighting and learn what they have to teach you. You never know what is going to be relevant and it doesn't hurt to be able to express more than one emotion in your dance.

 

[Aniseteph]

True. If that's the way the group rolls and you are part of it, then you have to try to blend in for the sake of their artistic vision thingy, even if it's not quite how you'd do it.

Now I'm thinking of you as a cheeky pink chiffon number in a sea of earthy tribal cotton yardage.

 

[shiradotnet]

Sometimes I wonder if it's just that the studio where I'm training isn't the right fit for me. Before I moved cities/states, I was taking classes at a wonderful tribal-fusion-oriented studio and I felt like I fit right in with their style, etc. it was very fun and upbeat and quirky, and being more toward adorable than sensual was never a problem.

In this studio, their style is very slow and anchored and serious (no smiling while you dance!).

I think any belly dance teacher who tries to tell you that your stage personality is "wrong" is missing the point of belly dancing. Belly dancing is about emotional expression, and also about imbuing your performance with your own personality. It CAN be sensual, moody, or mysterious. But it can also be playful, mischievous, or cute.

A dancer with strong acting skills may be able to portray all of these depending on what inspires her on a given day. But for you as a student who has been studying only a year, I think it's best to focus on being authentically YOU when you perform.

That said, if a person is going to perform with a troupe, it IS necessary to have everyone in the troupe expressing a similar feeling. So yes, I think that particular troupe was the wrong fit for you with your personality.

Another thought: It IS important for a performer to match her mood to the music she is using. Some songs suit a "cute" or "adorable" stage personality, whereas with other songs "cute" wouldn't fit at all. So, if you feel drawn to being "cute", be sure to pick music and costuming that matches. I wonder if maybe some of the negative feedback you've received in the past is due to the fact that your behavior/expression was "adorable" to serious-sounding music?

I'm on a roll today! Here's one more thought I'd like you to consider:

Some people act goofy as a way of masking the fact that they're actually uncomfortable. So, to cover their discomfort, they clown around.

Could this be something YOU are doing? Ie, are you trying to hide your stage fright by clowning around?

If so, that's something you should work on changing. Clowning around is fine if it's an artistic choice that matches the music / costume / intended message of the performance. But goofiness is NOT so fine if it's a nervous habit intended to mask your stage fright. It's admittedly better than scowling, but a dancer using silliness to cover her insecurities should try to outgrow her need to do it as she gains more performing experience over time. If this could be true of you, I'm not saying you'd need to stop doing it immediately, but I'd recommend setting a goal to outgrow your need to use this crutch.

 

[Salome]

Ditto on what Shira said about manifesting the mood of the music properly...

 

[Greek Bonfire]

If I was told not to smile, I would quit because I can't help it when I dance!

 

[Caelyn]

But if you are going to stay with the class until the end of the year, quit fighting and learn what they have to teach you.

maybe you didn't mean that the way I read it? But that's the whole problem; I've been trying so hard to fit in with their style and I'm failing at that and I feel really awkward and disingenuous and, well, fail-y.

I'm not 'fighting' anyone or anything; I'm doing my best to absorb and do everything that I'm being taught, and technically I am making progress that both my teachers and I are pleased with. I was just doubting myself because at my old studio I used to hear that I had an adorable stage presence/style and it was said as a compliment, and nowadays I still get that a lot but instead it's a criticism, and I was feeling like...what if you have to have a certain personality for belly dancing and maybe i just don't have it?

I'm not grinning like a cheshire cat onstage or anything, or being one-note emotionally...it's more like, idk how to explain it quite right. you know how you can ask ten dancers to perform the same move and while technique-wise it will be the same move and they're all doing it correctly...all of them will make it look slightly different, just by virtue of being different people and thus all having a slightly different movement style? That's more what I'm talking about.

I would never think for a minute that any troupe or studio should change to accomodate me, so I sincerely hope no one took anything I said that way.

shira, good point about making sure to choose music and costuming that suits you. like I said, I don't actually act goofy onstage, lol. I mean, yeah I look like a beginner (because I am one ), and I don't glare at the audience, but I definitely am not going out there and hamming it up or anything; watching performances like that kind of makes me cringe actually. (I also do improv comedy, so when I get the urge to be outright silly I save that for the improv stage! :naghty: )

I'm very comfortable being onstage; have been doing it for most of my life and there is nothing I love to do more, so no, I'm not compensating for awkward feelings or anything like that. But I do very much appreciate the feedback and advice and I'm grateful to you (and all of you) for giving me things to think about...so again...thank you!