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  1. #71
    V.I.P. khanjar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duvet View Post
    There's not a lot of tribal in Devon, Khanjar, but then there's not alot of Tribal in the UK fullstop. Samantha Emmanuel (Vagabond Princess) is based in Exeter, Kali Tribe are based in Kingsbridge, and Kalash are in Tiverton, thats all I know, but Plymouth is a bit out in the stix. I'd love to do Tribal myself, but again the travelling is a bit prohibitive.
    You mentioned a tribe in Colchester you would join if you could. Do they have any contacts for anyone neaer you?
    Odd isn't it Plymouth is a city, yet it is considered out in the stix, where the things that are out in the stix are not considered as such, but I know Kali tribe, not my thing I am afraid, but what is, as I do find the UK scene somewhat limited in many respects. Perhaps limited because of a certain attitude, I don't know. I also am limited by mileage, I have an eighteen year old car, but it runs on petrol and so travelling costs are a big factor. I did get an offer of sorts from one of the sister tribes to Fat Chance, but that was early last year, following on from a taster session with Maxinne Brennan in Colchester, were I know there are already existing male dancers, so a change is refreshing, not being the only male in the belly dance village! Camulodunum is a place I may move to this year if things don't sort themselves out, for I have an offer I can take up. But Duvet, I do thank you for your very welcome assistance and a question, if I may; not involved with land industry are you, a gardner or crop grower ? The reason I ask is I met another male dancer at Afra Al Kahira's Celebrating Dance in Torquay a few years ago, and for the life of me cannot remember his name, only that he was a more able and less inhibited dancer than me.

  2. #72
    Senior Member Duvet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zorba View Post
    As my spirituality is "compatible" with hers, it has all worked out fantastically for everyone involved. But she still says "not every male would be able to fit - and you work because you're weird!".
    I've been told the same thing, but re the gender discrimination issue - does she also mean that not every woman would be compatible? Or does she mean that you are not really a man (in her eyes)? Or are you an 'honorary woman', as I sometimes get called.

    I was also told by one acquaintance, in all earnestness, that "You're not really a man. Its just unfortunate that you're one in this incarnation, whereas before you've always been a woman." I know it was meant in the nicest way possible, and it was her way of fitting me into her world view, but I'm still not sure whether it was really a compliment or not!! She also said it in front of a group of people - you could have heard a pin drop!

  3. #73
    Senior Member Duvet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by khanjar View Post
    I met another male dancer at Afra Al Kahira's Celebrating Dance in Torquay a few years ago, and for the life of me cannot remember his name, only that he was a more able and less inhibited dancer than me.
    Sorry Khanjar, that wasn't me, nor do I know who it was. There aren't many of us men about, so I hope he is still dancing. Do you know his stomping ground?

    I believe you'll find your place Khanjar, even if you have to forge it for yourself.

    Re;Plymouth - its the coast; automatically cuts off half the potential geographical area. Great if you're a fisherman or a surfer, but not so great for land based activities. Raqs Surfing - theres an idea.

  4. #74
    Moderator Zorba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duvet View Post
    I've been told the same thing, but re the gender discrimination issue - does she also mean that not every woman would be compatible? Or does she mean that you are not really a man (in her eyes)? Or are you an 'honorary woman', as I sometimes get called.
    Certainly the latter, and not the second. The first would be true also, but probably for differing reasons. She just says that I'm not a "typical guy", and in many, many ways, I'm not. She's a wise old crone (which is a compliment to her).
    I was also told by one acquaintance, in all earnestness, that "You're not really a man. Its just unfortunate that you're one in this incarnation, whereas before you've always been a woman." I know it was meant in the nicest way possible, and it was her way of fitting me into her world view, but I'm still not sure whether it was really a compliment or not!! She also said it in front of a group of people - you could have heard a pin drop!
    It wouldn't bother me. OTOH, I'm a guy, I've never pretended otherwise, nor made apologies for it. I actually had someone ask me recently if I wanted to be addressed as a guy or a gal - it was a (woman) photographer on a cruise ship. I was wearing a pretty "masculine" looking skirt - more of a kilt - at the time. I was kind of taken aback at first - but she meant well. Doesn't bother me either way - I've been "ma'amed" a few times from the rear also. When I turn around, they're in for a shock!

    For the most part, I consider my gender irrelevant.

    Reminds me of a troupe performance I was in a few years ago (different troupe). Big extravaganza Gypsy Skirt Dance. Lots of dancers all over the stage, doing different things, etc. We started out by coming onto the stage in the dark, and standing backside on. The lights came up. The music started. We twirled around with our skirts in hand, pair by pair. My wife was in the audience - let's just say some of the high school kids in the audience were a bit "surprised" at the tall dancer in the yellow skirt (with the long hair)! One of my fondest memories...

  5. #75
    V.I.P. khanjar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duvet View Post
    Sorry Khanjar, that wasn't me, nor do I know who it was. There aren't many of us men about, so I hope he is still dancing. Do you know his stomping ground?

    I believe you'll find your place Khanjar, even if you have to forge it for yourself.

    Re;Plymouth - its the coast; automatically cuts off half the potential geographical area. Great if you're a fisherman or a surfer, but not so great for land based activities. Raqs Surfing - theres an idea.
    His area, somewhere around Wiltshire, Swindon Chippenham maybe, oh, I don't know, I never remember names and faces, but he was learning under a UK recognised pro dancer who I think danced at Celebrating Dance when Tarik and Morocco came over.

    But I agree regards the coast thing, and I am right on it and I am no yachtsman, used to be, but now no interest in it whatsoever and I only fish to supplement what I eat.

  6. #76
    Premium Member Aniseteph's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zorba View Post
    I am now in a troupe whose director once made it VERY well known that there would NEVER be a male in her troupe....

    ... it has all worked out fantastically for everyone involved. But she still says "not every male would be able to fit - and you work because you're weird!".
    There you go - poster boy for why it's not fair to reject people because of how you think they'll be based on something like gender. Or colour, or religion, or age...

    Yeah, she has a point, you are not Mr Average!

  7. #77
    Senior Member Duvet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by khanjar View Post
    ...I met another male dancer at Afra Al Kahira's Celebrating Dance in Torquay a few years ago...
    TWO men at a bellydance event! I hope you took pictures. That must have been as rare as the Beast of Bodmin back then!

  8. #78
    Moderator Amulya's Avatar
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    In Holland it was quite common to have male belly dancers at belly dance events, they got some real good ones! Germany as well. Maybe the Europe belly dance scene is more welcoming?

  9. #79
    Moderator Zorba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duvet View Post
    TWO men at a bellydance event! I hope you took pictures. That must have been as rare as the Beast of Bodmin back then!
    My Tuesday nite class has not one, not two, but THREE males in it. I'm shocked, even though its Santa Cruz, California!

  10. #80
    Super Moderator Mosaic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by khanjar View Post
    The reason for all this, this topic is I suspected I was being discriminated against on grounds of gender again, and today it was confirmed, women only classes do not by the very nature of them being women only will not accept males, I am now out of BD and very deeply hurt.
    I am sorry to hear that, was it a class you had formerly been part of? If it was then that is even worse. Don't give up, practice with DVDs and keep looking, even form a group of your own and practice together, maybe one of the female dancers you have come to know & has had a few years dancing would help you with your practice sessions.
    ~Mosaic
    Dance is like glitter, it not only colours your life, it makes you sparkle, you find it everywhere and in everything and it's near impossible to get rid of. (unknown)


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