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  1. #1
    Member Indigo Shimmer's Avatar
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    Default "Oh Hon, We Don't Dance."

    So my family has noticed that I've been loosing a little weight. And they're curious. Around Christmas, I broke my word to myself and told my family what I was doing to loose weight. I told my mother first. Her reply was, "Oh Hon, we don't dance."

    Now let me explain. I do not come from a family who believes that dancing is a sin. I was raised by a mother who has a serious appreciation for all forms of art. My parents were always going to the opera, classical concerts and musicals. When it was an Olympic year, Mom was glued to the T.V. ( an invention she despises! ) for the ice skating and the gymnastics. So I know she has a sincere love for the anything dance-like.

    Her point, which she went on to tell me in detail, was that the women in this family are not capable of dancing. We are clumsy, awkward and well.....that's just not one of our talents, dancing of any kind, that is. Its something you watch other people do, we don't do it, 'cause we can't.

    GREAT! No pressure, Ma! Guess what stray thought will probably flit through my brain seconds before I go on stage when I do my first routine!

    In spite of what she said, I'M STILL DANCING!

    Indigo S.

  2. #2
    Moderator Darshiva's Avatar
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    Just remember to put a 'my arse!' on the end of that thought & you'll be right. ("can't, my ARSE!" that is!)

  3. #3
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    There's nothing like a challenge to get you moving!

    Actually, you're probably fine. Your mother may be comparing her family's untutored attempts to Olympic gymnasts and figure skaters. How many professional dancers are at that level??

  4. #4
    Moderator Daimona's Avatar
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    Good thing you're not a clone of your mother. Perhaps your father gave you some hidden dance genes and all that was needed was some training to get the right neural patterns? Or perhaps she is just jalous because you actually just did it instead of blocking it out because you didn't think you could do it?

    Well, someone has to break the spell and YOU are the one to break it, hooray!

    And in addition, the only way to get rid of clumsyness and awkwardness when moving is by practicing and building those neural patterns that are needed.


    Quote Originally Posted by Darshiva View Post
    Just remember to put a 'my arse!' on the end of that thought & you'll be right. ("can't, my ARSE!" that is!)
    Wonderful tip!
    Listen to Darshiva and enjoy dancing yourself as the first member of your family. And if you get (or have?) children, pass on the joy of dance to them.

    Happy shimmies!
    --
    Daim.

  5. #5
    Super Moderator Mosaic's Avatar
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    Teach your mum a few simple moves and have a giggle together and when you feel confident invite her to come and see you perform, she may then realise what wonders a little training can do and when you love and desire something how your heart and body responds
    You go girl!
    ~Mosaic
    Dance is like glitter, it not only colours your life, it makes you sparkle, you find it everywhere and in everything and it's near impossible to get rid of. (unknown)


  6. #6
    Moderator Zorba's Avatar
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    I wish I had a penny for every time I've heard the "I'm clumsy" excuse - including when I made it! Clumsiness can be overcome.

  7. #7
    Member Ahava_Melantha's Avatar
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    funny when I first started learning how to dance, my gma said "I never thought she'd learn, she had no sense of rythm". yeah, coming from someone who doesn't have any rythm, lol. the first dance, probably was the easiest to learn because of the awkward rythm shifts in it.

    but still, I surpaced it and I learned grace and all that other stuff. just ignore it. You aren't your whole family.

  8. #8
    V.I.P. shiradotnet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indigo Shimmer View Post
    Her point, which she went on to tell me in detail, was that the women in this family are not capable of dancing. We are clumsy, awkward and well.....that's just not one of our talents, dancing of any kind, that is. Its something you watch other people do, we don't do it, 'cause we can't.
    Remind her that you got only half your genes from her. The other half came from your dad, and tell her you know there's some dance aptitude in the genes you got from HIM just waiting for somebody to liberate it!

  9. #9
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    I think you have to bear in mind just because nobody in the family has done it before, doesn't mean it's impossible. If we only did what some people thought was "the sort of thing we do" then great changes in society would not be possible. My grandfather was told by a great many of his family that "there's no sense educating your daughters, people like us don't do that and they'll only get married." He didn't believe them and his daughters benefited from it.

    I'm not convinced there's actually a gene for dancing ability although having family who dance can be an inspiration or a help. That said simply because your mother doesn't think "our family" can dance doesn't mean she's right.

    All you can do is become the dancer you want to be and help your mother to learn that simply because nobody in the family has done it before, doesn't mean nobody in the family can.

  10. #10
    Member Indigo Shimmer's Avatar
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    I told my big sister what she said and she erupted!

    "WHAT????!!!!! Whaddya mean 'We don't dance'???!! I've learned to line dance. And has she ever seen her grandson bust a move on the dance floor????"

    My sister lives in Montana and I guess line dancing is expected when you go to the local bars there.

    OR Mom could be using that age old practice of tearing you down just to build you up. All my childhood, when I was horse crazy, she would just shrug and say, "All little girls love horses. It's just a phase. You have to come from money or own land to have horses."

    Yeah right! I now own a small farm and raise horses! AND worked as a groom for 20 years!

    Say that I can't do something and I'll try to prove you wrong.

    I'm not really doing this FOR HER. Or because 'no one in my family has done this and been any good.' Do I think I'm the next Rachel Brice??? Heavens no! Do I think I'm a natural???? Not exactly. I think I'm gonna have to work twice as hard as someone who is 'a natural'. It doesn't matter. I'm doing this FOR ME! If I have fun, great! If I get good enough to accept paying gigs, that's fantastic but not my ultimate goal. How long have I got to get good? Well, let's see. I'm on the tail end of 45. How old is Morocco? I guess I've got from now to age 100 to get REALLY good! Those are my goals so far.

    But I WOULD like my parents to watch my recital on Father's Day and make Mom eat her words! Does that make me a bad person??????

    Indigo Shimmer

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