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  1. #11
    V.I.P. Ariadne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indigo Shimmer View Post
    But I WOULD like my parents to watch my recital on Father's Day and make Mom eat her words! Does that make me a bad person??????
    No that makes you human.

    Don't expect it to work out that way but it's a perfectly natural reaction.

  2. #12
    Senior Member nightdancer's Avatar
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    Anyone that sits a canter and learns to shimmy cannot possibly be clumsy and awkward; it's a genetic impossibility.

  3. #13
    V.I.P. da Sage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indigo Shimmer View Post
    Say that I can't do something and I'll try to prove you wrong.

    I'm not really doing this FOR HER. Or because 'no one in my family has done this and been any good.' Do I think I'm the next Rachel Brice??? Heavens no! Do I think I'm a natural???? Not exactly. I think I'm gonna have to work twice as hard as someone who is 'a natural'. It doesn't matter. I'm doing this FOR ME! If I have fun, great! If I get good enough to accept paying gigs, that's fantastic but not my ultimate goal. How long have I got to get good? Well, let's see. I'm on the tail end of 45. How old is Morocco? I guess I've got from now to age 100 to get REALLY good! Those are my goals so far.
    That's the spirit! Do it for yourself because you like it, because it's fun, and because it makes you feel good. I've seen a couple of (originally) very mediocre dancers become really *very* good dancers AND performers - commanding every eye, pulling off those technically difficult skills, and truly connecting with the audience - all at the same time. They give me hope that if I ALSO apply myself, I will eventually be able to dance beautifully - in this lifetime!

    Quote Originally Posted by Indigo Shimmer View Post
    But I WOULD like my parents to watch my recital on Father's Day and make Mom eat her words! Does that make me a bad person??????

    Indigo Shimmer
    Nah...invite your Dad, and see if he brings your Mom!

  4. #14
    Senior Member walladah's Avatar
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    Default If we take genetics research seriously,

    this is why women preferred to have males around, to mix genes and create artist offspring, instead of keeping living on trees for millions of years and communicate with funny screams!

    Yes, you might have genes from your father or you might have mutated (more possible to develop a kinesthetic gene than a... telekinetic gene, do not pay attention to the movies) or the most possible thing might be this:

    there is nothing wrong with your motherline genes, but another woman many decades ago told your mother that "women in this family do not dance, we are clumpsy etc" and your mother never took the chance to verify the statement.

    So, do not bother with what she said, take the beautiful... inheritance you have from your mother and get it forward! Create the new tradition that "women in this family DO dance, they are elegant and gracious and yes, they have a propensity to bellydance".

    Finally, i also agree with your attitude to say "i have so many years till my 100 to become an excellent dancer". And so it is!

    Yes, from now on women in your family are also very dedicated to enjoy themselves till their 100!!
    Welcome to the bellydance universe!

    PS/OK, my feminist propensity spoke again. Women might have preferred to have males around because men would never be able to say "we women of this family are clumpsy". They might be able to say "women of this family are clumpsy", but then we can revolt against as this could be considered patriarchal repression. So easy to avoid matriarchal repression!
    Last edited by walladah; 02-14-2012 at 09:26 AM.

  5. #15
    V.I.P. PracticalDancer's Avatar
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    Can I just take a small moment to say that as mothers (sorry Zorba, make that parents!), mentors, and teachers to be really careful what we say to those who look up to us?

    The slightest comment can crush a dream.

    Indigo, my Mom said the same thing to me as a kid, and I believed it. It kept me from dancing, and being active, and doing a lot of the things I wanted to do. Somehow, I started dancing anyway. And, after about 9 years of it, she said something that washed all of the negativity away. After she saw me perform with my troupe for the first time, she had a delighted look on her face, telling me I was more beautiful and confident at 40 than I ever was at 20.

    I hope you get to have a moment like that, sometime in the near future!

  6. #16
    Member Indigo Shimmer's Avatar
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    Anala,

    Awww! Thank you! I hope that's what happens.

    Actually when I first started dancing but was still keeping it a secret from my family, I was having a conversation about aging with my Mom and she mentioned how the older men got, the more careful, cautious and less willing to try new things they became while women seemed to go completely in the opposite direction. 'Gee, I've held back from doing this thing I've always wanted to do for so long, what's stopping me now???? Let's just go for it!'

    I just smiled and thought how ironic it was that she would say this NOW!

    Indigo S.

  7. #17
    Senior Member LadyLoba's Avatar
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    I know how you feel in that I also have many family members who would not be at all supportive if they found out I belly dance. Nobody Im related to even knows...I keep it a secret from them...that's how bad their reaction would likely be.

    The only people who know are my co workers and one friend...and they dont much care about it one way or the other...except one who seems to have a problem with it...but that's too darn bad.

    In your case...it sounds like that's just what your mom says about anything related to dancing in your family, and would have said that automatically no matter who decided to take up dance. I hope she does come to see you..and realizes that if there is some "family dance curse" you broke it.

    In my biological family...it's just kind of accepted and unspoken that nobody finishes college...and Ive got a younger cousin who I hear is now in medical school. (I have a BA and an MA myself).

  8. #18
    V.I.P. Greek Bonfire's Avatar
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    Hey Ma! Guess there is an exception to that rule!!!

  9. #19
    Moderator Shanazel's Avatar
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    Nope. Just a typical daughter.
    "Well, now that we have seen each other," said the unicorn " if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you."

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