A week at the gym

Shanazel

Shanazel

Moderator
WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
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MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines... I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
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TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members.. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.
_______________________________
THURSDAY:
Butt hole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.
He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
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FRIDAY:
I hate that jackass Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
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SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..
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SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
 
duskshade

duskshade

New member
That was great! I know how that feels every time I slack off my workout routine....

Thanks for a great midafternoon giggle!
 
Greek Bonfire

Greek Bonfire

Well-known member
I love this one and I can totally relate, especially when I started riding my bike just to the train station and using new muscles!
 
J

jaimeeligan

New member
I've been meaning to ask everyone, can you get enough exercise just with belly dancing? Is it okay not to sign up for the gym anymore if you already belly dance? Just a thought that has been percolating in my mind recently. Hope you can give me some insights!
 
Mosaic

Mosaic

Super Moderator
jaimeeligan said:
I've been meaning to ask everyone, can you get enough exercise just with belly dancing? Is it okay not to sign up for the gym anymore if you already belly dance? Just a thought that has been percolating in my mind recently. Hope you can give me some insights!
Click to expand...
If you are just dancing 1 to 2 hours a week, then no its not enough, BD is generally not sustained long enough to get the heart pumping as you would at the gym. If you are adding some BD fitness class to your general dancing then that would probably be OK. It depends how fit, or how much exercise you feel you need.

I dance about 5 hours a week and did add yoga to that last year, I also walk for 45mins at least 3 times a week, I've been slack this year and haven't keep going with yoga. I keep telling myself I must add something else to my regime, but it doesn't seem to be working. I also don't do gym work - I hate the gym, a total waste of money for me, as I give up after a few weeks:D
~Mosaic
 
Farasha Hanem

Farasha Hanem

New member
jaimeeligan said:
I've been meaning to ask everyone, can you get enough exercise just with belly dancing? Is it okay not to sign up for the gym anymore if you already belly dance? Just a thought that has been percolating in my mind recently. Hope you can give me some insights!
Click to expand...

If my current bellydance teacher offered classes for just THREE days a week (instead of the 5 or 6 in the story), and you took all three classes, then yes, you would get plenty of exercise, and THEN some, because she is a merciless, slave driving drill sergeant who used to be a physical therapist for 18 years, and I LOVE her! xD I'M GOING TO MISS HER WHEN SHE MOVES AWAAAAAAAAAY!!! ?????
 
J

jaimeeligan

New member
Farasha Hanem said:
If my current bellydance teacher offered classes for just THREE days a week (instead of the 5 or 6 in the story), and you took all three classes, then yes, you would get plenty of exercise, and THEN some, because she is a merciless, slave driving drill sergeant who used to be a physical therapist for 18 years, and I LOVE her! xD I'M GOING TO MISS HER WHEN SHE MOVES AWAAAAAAAAAY!!! ?????
Click to expand...

Yikes, sounds like a scary teacher!
 
J

jaimeeligan

New member
Mosaic said:
If you are just dancing 1 to 2 hours a week, then no its not enough, BD is generally not sustained long enough to get the heart pumping as you would at the gym. If you are adding some BD fitness class to your general dancing then that would probably be OK. It depends how fit, or how much exercise you feel you need.

I dance about 5 hours a week and did add yoga to that last year, I also walk for 45mins at least 3 times a week, I've been slack this year and haven't keep going with yoga. I keep telling myself I must add something else to my regime, but it doesn't seem to be working. I also don't do gym work - I hate the gym, a total waste of money for me, as I give up after a few weeks:D
~Mosaic
Click to expand...

Thanks for the tips Mosaic. Yeah, I thought so too, BD wouldn't be enough, but I really hate the gym and I wish BD was enough so I don't feel like I'm forced to exercise!
 
khanjar

khanjar

New member
@Shanazel, that was hilarious and yep, just the about the way I feel about gyms their machines and the sadists that work there, but honestly being shown the machines conjures images of the Spanish inquisition. I hate gyms, always have, but apparently we need to keep in shape, so unfortunately, it is an option we have to consider.

Now my exercise regime is not particularly fab at the moment, an hour dancing a week and that is about it, although I do salutation to the sun exercises when I get up each morning, I have a reasonable level of fitness compared to many of my friends and that I believe is because I tend to walk a lot and this place Devon, nothing is on flat land.

I would like to get into swimming as a more complete exercise and that because it works on all the body and the water pressure tones. Mountain biking I do sometimes, but as soon as it becomes an exercise, i.e. a chore I will lose interest, so mountain biking is one of those things I will not do often, and that is mountain biking on an old non suspension bike from the early nineties, what is called in the scene, a retro bike, an American GT Timberline from 1994 after my lovely '93 Saracen got stolen and that one replacing a '92 Saracen that was also lost, no one will pinch the GT.
 
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