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  1. #11
    Senior Member Duvet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Habiba View Post
    I am also of the opinion it's good to keep cordial relations and avoid burning bridges.
    A wise policy to follow. You never know when circumstances might require you to work together or share a space in the future.

    Quote Originally Posted by Habiba View Post
    Anyway, my former teacher's school was a"friend" on Facebook. I didn't delete or unfriend for the above stated reasons, plus I love her style so I had not ruled out going back to her at some stage for either private classes or workshops. However, about a fortnight ago, she deleted me.
    Different people use facebook for different reasons and view it in different ways. She may have deleted you for many other reasons than the ones you might be able to think of. On Facebook you were a contact of her 'school', not a friend in her personal life. It might not have crossed her mind that it could be taken as a personal rejection. She might just be tidying up her accounts (some people like to keep everything up to date and accurate - particularly if this is her business page). She might not think you would want information about her school and students (which might even be intended for her current students only).

    Just send her school a new friends request, with a PM saying how you don't want to loose contact.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duvet View Post


    Just send her school a new friends request, with a PM saying how you don't want to loose contact.
    Ummm... she blocked me as well (I know as she's still "friends" with my former classmate). You can't win'em all ;-)

    From a teacher's perspective, perhaps it's good policy to be clear and upfront and have parameters around tools like FB to avoid confusion and burnt bridges.

  3. #13
    V.I.P. Kashmir's Avatar
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    The whole "friend" terminology is creepy. That said on my Facebook page - I don't post anything I don't mind perfect strangers knowing - so no birthdays or personal information; no great dramas (or mini ones such as a (real) friend who posts amazing trivia such as "popping down to the shops with the kids"). I have found using a Page useful for those more interested in nuts and bolts of classes etc.

    I suspect either your ex-teacher is posting things she really shouldn't on Facebook - all data belong to them - or she has taken the "friend" label at face value. Hurtful - and foolish - but I guess it is her way of giving you the flick.

  4. #14
    Member LilithNoor's Avatar
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    Sometimes it feels like the entire UK dance scene is on FB!

    I'm 'friends' with dancers that I have never taken a class with, and have been added to all sorts of groups and events pages.

    I know several teachers have groups specially for their students, where they post up additional info, videos and such, and they periodically delete people who are no longer dancing with them, as why would you give those resources away for free.

    The only time people seem to delete each other as friends is when there's been a real bust up or personality clash. Doesn't seem to happen that often, fortunately.

  5. #15
    Moderator Darshiva's Avatar
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    I use my facebook account for my business. I put personal touches on there that are bellydance-related and some humanitarian things, to make my account feel less cold than a pure business account.

    I've got contacts on there from all over the world because I feel (like Habiba) that bridge building is important. I have, however, burned one bridge - with my ex-teacher.

    Now I personally don't care for her so I didn't have her friended on facebook, but she kept pming me about personal stuff not related to bellydance and completely of no interest to me, particularly since we had no facebook connection outside of her pming me. So I blocked her. She has the dubious honour of being the only bellydancer I have ever blocked on facebook, an action I only ever reserve for creepy sock guys (if you MUST know, pm me) and other PNGs.

    I have been blocked by bellydancers who don't like me having someone they don't like on my friends list, but frankly I feel much better without having that connection since it's very remote that I will need to deal with their drama directly.

    I'd say that everyone has a different approach to facebooking. Habiba sounds like she uses it like I do, and her former teacher like the lovely ladies who block for strange and obscure reasons. The important thing to remember is that the world really isn't so small as it seems, and that if you keep building your bridges, it will only get bigger. The ones that burn the bridges do themselves a disservice, but it's the way that they cope with the insanity that is social media.
    Bellydance in Kyabram!
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    Email kyabrambellydance@gmail.com for more information.

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