Problems with teacher, feeling frustrated

[Viola]

Hi there everyone, I've been a long time visitor of these forums but this is my forst post. I'm feel I've become very stuck in dance life and I could really do with some friendly advice. My apologies for what is likely to be a rather long post!!

My dance journey started 3 years ago, although I did dabble a little in various other styles before that I didn't get serious until then. I discovered ATS and fell in love. Where I live, in the back of beyond, there is only one ATS teacher of FCBD format and I have been attending her classes for just over 3 years now. I've been in a beginners class that whole time as she does not offer any other levels.

Lately I've found classes very frustrating, as the classes are drop in every week there are new people and we all go back to basics. Now, I am a firm believer that belly dance is not something that you ever master and that you are constantly learning and growing, however I've been doing the basics for 3 years and I find I learn more in my own at home practice than I do in class. There is also the problem of her not correcting students when they are out of time (which is quite awkward when I'm trying to follow someone!) when they start on the wrong count or just plain do things wrong, and she also teaches some moves wrong. Now, me being a student in her class I would never tell her that she is teaching some things wrong as I wouldn't want to come across as being rude. She's difficult to talk to and often gives the impression she has better things to do, I asked her 3 years ago for a break down of the reverse turn....I'm still waiting for that!!

We talked a while ago about me co-teaching with her as I really want to move my dance life forward but nothing has happened with that. I eventually want to teach and perform, but right now at this stage in my dance life I just want to work on my technique and get better.

Do you think it is worth me continuing classes? The classes are the only chance I get to dance in a group but then most times we dont do that as there are new students every week. If not, should I talk to her about my frustrations? I'm considering doing some online lessons as there are no other ATS teachers around, would these be a good idea do you think? I'm just feeling rather lost and I don't really know how to progress from here

Any advice you can give me would be very much appreciated. Sorry again for the long post and slightly negative post.

 

[Darshiva]

I can't really give you much advice on this because I've been in the same situation myself & my answer left me ostracised by my local bellydance community which I am getting ready to leave. I wouldn't wish what I've been through on anyone.

However, I do have something interesting for you to read. It may give you some clarity.

Is your teacher toxic? - St. Louis Belly Dancing | Examiner.com

 

[Viola]

Hi Darshiva,

Thank you so much for your reply, and I'm so sorry to hear that you have been through a similar situation and have been ostracised by your local belly dance community.

That article is actually a great help and it pretty much describes my teacher. I feel as if she is holding me back and it is difficult to know what to do.

 

[Daimona]

I'm not going to say whether this class is right for you or not, but for your personal development outside class:

• Take online lessons.
• Buy DVDs. There are at least 9 FCBD Tribal basic DVDs.

For developing your group dancing skills:
If your teacher won't put up a second class (non-drop-in) for more advanced students on her own, could you form a student troupe/advanced group (with or without the cooperation of your teacher) with other more advanced students to improve your group skills (if necessary in addition to following the teacher's basic drop-in class and/or under supervision of your teacher)?

 

[Viola]

Hi Daimona,

Thanks for that reply,

I have all the FCBD dvds and I watch them regularly at home, they are great!! I'm looking in to some online classes so hope to start those soon.

Starting a little student group to practice group dancing is a great idea, however my teacher is quite controlling. There have been instances where I have mentioned to her before a similar idea and she said it wouldn't work cos we are all at different levels and just left it there. I might mention it again but it's got to the stage now where I actually dread saying things to her.

 

[Daimona]

Starting a little student group to practice group dancing is a great idea, however my teacher is quite controlling. There have been instances where I have mentioned to her before a similar idea and she said it wouldn't work cos we are all at different levels and just left it there. I might mention it again but it's got to the stage now where I actually dread saying things to her.

Would she mind some of you going together to practice what you have learnt between classes as well? It won't have to be a big official group, you know. Perhaps just one or two more students in addition to you, and the group is small enough for you to practice in each other living rooms..

 

[Viola]

It's a good idea, I think she wouldn't mind once she understands is just for us to practice. I'll mention to the girls in class and see if they would like to start a practice group.

Thanks for the suggestion

 

[Daimona]

The smaller the group is, the better and easier it is to handle (less organizing and you'll need smaller space to practice on).

 

[~Diana~]

As been stated already online classes and DVD's might help you. However I something you might want to look into is learning a different form of bellydance as well as what you are taking. I know a lot of people who are ATS dancers but they also learn other forms. Helps to keep the bordom down when there is not enough peoples to dance ATS

 

[Viola]

I have thought of doing another style, I actually used to take tribal fusion before ATS stole my heart but I couldn't afford both classes so had to drop tribal fusion. The tribal fusion teacher I had was amazing, she couldn't have been more passionate or dedicated to her dance style and she was very encouraging. I've been considering going back to her classes for a while so maybe I'll get in touch with her.

 

[Sophia Maria]

Hmmm. I'm sorry you've been having teacher problems. It's hard when you're the student and you know there's something not quite right about the way a teacher teaches, but it's hard to say out loud because you feel like maybe you don't have the authority to say that?

I don't know. I have a little bit of experience in this area. Most of the time I have a wonderful teacher, but I took 2 months worth of additional classes in FCBD ATS 2 years ago(I normally dance Egyptian style). This situation was somewhat similar: the teacher only taught 1 beginner level and there were always drop-ins. She did not explain moves well, and tried to get us to do more than we could, before teaching technique. I did ok, because I had already had a year or so of instruction, but my classmates were kind of flailing. She also did not seem to respond positively to criticism or suggestions.

It's funny that you mentioned possibly co-teaching with her; my teacher didn't outright say it, but she pretty much treated me as if I were her co-teacher. I felt uncomfortable, and this was one of the major reasons why I left. I do not feel that a student of only a year is quite ready to teach classes!

My suggestion would be to get back in touch with your fusion teacher. It may not be your preferred style, but the quality of teaching is far more valuable to you. You can always go back to ATS later on (if you relocate, or classes become available from a different teacher). If the tribal fusion lady is really as dedicated a teacher as you say, what she can offer you, as still a relatively new dancer (3 yrs), is more important. The most important thing is to keep on dancing, and it might be better for you to do that in a more positive atmosphere. You don't want to drive home from class feeling more stressed than when you went there!

 

[Viola]

Thanks for your advice Sophia Maria,

I think I will follow the advice of you and the other ladies and get back to my fusion teacher, but I'm also going to do some online ATS classes and continue with my DVDs (mainly because I'm having mild palpitations thinking of not doing ATS)!!

The main reason I have not already returned to my fusion teacher is that she obviously knows ATS is the style I love, I want to perform and teach ATS in the future, and I was worried she would think that I'm wasting her time as I can't imagine myself ever performing fusion or anything, I just want to work on technique and hopefully apply it to my ATS if I can. Does that make sense?!

 

[Darshiva]

Talk to your old teacher about private lessons in tribal ("to really refine my foundations"). There's nothing wrong with going to a class for the technique, gods most students are there for 30-90 minutes out of the house for the week! If I had a student just there for the technique, I'd be thrilled, even if I knew she had no intention of performing in this style!

 

[Sophia Maria]

If ATS is absolutely your passion, then by all means get DVDs, learn on the internet, and follow that inspiration. But don't stick with a negative learning environment just to be stubborn, you know what I mean? To be honest, my teacher, who is absolutely amazing, doesn't teach exactly the same style that I am passionate about. I learn the Egyptian-inspired but very much American style bellydance from her, and then in my own time I nerd out over contemporary Egyptian and Russian youtube videos. It's ok! I just thinkif you're passionate about this dance, you deserve to have a great teacher.

She shouldn't be offended if you're there mostly for the technique. In fact, I think she will be impressed and excited to learn you intend to teach and perform dance in the future!!

 

[Viola]

Thanks everyone for the advice, I'm going to get in touch with my fusion teacher today and see about getting back to classes.

Had another slight run in with my teacher yesterday and I've just had enough of her to be honest, I just honestly feel like she is draining the life out of me and I don't have time for that right now!!

 

[LunaXJJ]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, I'd say if you're paying for these classes and feel you aren't getting much out of them it's time to find a new teacher. It's sad that she's teaching moves wrong as it does hinder students, and puts them at risk of injury as well. Not to mention it's hard to enjoy belly dance when you're constantly getting frustrated, and belly dance should definitely be enjoyed.

 

[Yame]

IMO you should look for a different teacher. If you aren't learning anything then the class isn't worth your money or time. If at least there was a redeeming aspect (like you were having fun, or getting performance opportunities) then it would be worth it to consider staying, but from your description it doesn't sound like it.

You have to make that call for yourself. Ask yourself if that time would be better spent at home practicing on your own or with a DVD, or better yet in another class (if you can find one). If the answer is "yes," you know what to do.

If you do decide to leave, there is no need to discuss the reasons with the teacher. In a perfect world we'd all be open to honest feedback, but a lot of people are offended or taken aback by criticism, sometimes rightfully so because some people can be very cruel with it. The way I see it, we all make daily choices about what to do with our lives, what products to buy and what services to use. We move on from one thing to the next without feeling like we owe people an explanation. We don't spend our time constantly telling the companies we've used why it is that we will no longer be using them, unless something very serious happened that warrants a complaint.

If you don't know her very well, you can choose to just stop showing up. If you do it might be rude or awkward to just quit without saying anything, so you can just give a vague reason about life coming up, or about wanting to pursue a different interest or different style. Always be cordial when running into her.

Just to add, if you feel like the above reasons are dishonest, you can always say you are leaving because the class is too basic for you. Just don't feel the need to keep explaining or be too specific.

Another option would be to ditch the group classes and take occasional private classes with her. But this would be an option if you love the teacher but hate the class. If you dislike the class and don't think much of her as a teacher, there's no point in privates, either. They would be even more of a waste of money.

 

[Viola]

Thanks Yame,

Yeah there doesn't seem to be a reason for me to stay in class anymore, the main thing that kept me there was that we were doing some group dancing and we supposed to be working towards performances but my teacher just lacks motivation and it never happened. I had some people get in touch with me for us to do student performances but she wasn't interested and just seemed annoyed.

As we have got to know each other fairly well over the years I feel I should definately say something , it wouldn't be right just to leave class. But I'm kinda dreading, I'm pretty sure even if I explain it in a nice way, or even just say I'm exploring other styles that she would be offended but I guess there isn't much I can do about that. I appreciate all she has taught me and I'll let her know that, I just feel I need to move on for myself.

I've signed up for online classes, had my first one today and already learned loads!! Found out loads about zilling that I never knew before so I'm gonna put all that in to practice.

 

[ana_bat]

Oh how I've been where you are.

I once had a teacher who never really broke down movements, taught zills shoddily at best, and really just squandered the entire time in class talking. Once upon a time she was the only ATS teacher in my area and you know what I did? I left. I couldn't afford to stay with a teacher who had a low quality of teaching, who was circular in the sense that nothing was ever accomplished. So instead I continued to take tribal fusion which was my less passionate option but it helped me maintain a sense of body awareness that seriously helped when our only sister studio finally opened up in the area. You owe it to yourself to not be miserable about your dance situation. Naturally its scary and unpleasant to have to break things to people that might upset them, but we have to do it because there is absolutely no sense in staying in a situation that is making us unhappy. I venture to say that the dynamics you're describing is unhealthy and your teacher sounds controlling.

In those two years it took to finally meet up with my current (and awesome instructor) I took tribal fusion classes here and there with an old teacher, but I really did my best to learn from the Fat Chance dvd's. If this is really something you're passionate about, you're going to hit roadblocks sometimes but you can't just let things be as they are. Its like hindering your chance to really grow as a dancer just because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. (This is coming from a socially introverted, conflict loathing and fearing individual mind you...)I'm assuming she's an adult, she should be mature enough to handle your decision. If she's unable to be understanding of your choice and take it gracefully, remember its not your problem or obligation to deal with her emotions. :naghty:

Lastly, don't let lack of funds hold you back. My entire time that I've spend learning, I've been something of a poor college student
If anything, not having all the money I'd like for workshops and classes with all the teachers in my area I'd like to learn from has forced me to really consider what's important, given me focus so that I try not to waste any of my time and money, and fueled my passion even more to work hard towards what I hope to accomplish some day. Sorry I wrote you a novel, but I can really relate! PM me whenever you want to talk or have ATS/ITS related questions!

TL;DR Your time, money and sanity are too valuable. Leave your teacher and find the most cost efficient and "true to your goals" solution as possible.

 

[Viola]

Thanks for your reply,

Your old ATS teacher sounds alot like my current one. She also never breaks down moves, taught zills shoddily and would just randomly decide to change an ATS move even though she is a FCBD Sister Studio!!

I think you are right in that I'm hindering my chances of growing as a dancer because I'm afraid of hurting her feelings, but I suppose I need to think of myself and what I want to accomplish. I do eventually want to teach, although that's a whole other issue as I don't know what I'd do seeing as she is the only ATS teacher here, I wouldn't want to step on anyones toes!

Lack of funds is an issue alright, but I'm trying to be picky about what forms of workshops and things I take. I'm hoping to do FC General Skills next year, that's my priority, and I'm going to take whatever workshops I can that are on throughout the year.

I do feel as if my money is being wasted on her classes so I'm just going to have to go ahead and stop going because it isn't worth the money or the effort!

I'll definately pm you with any ATS questions I may have so thanks for the offer