khanjar
New member
Yeah, that is my perception of myself and why I am not here so much these days as some may be aware I have at least found out why I am somewhat gender sensitive and attracted to belly dance, where if I can extend myself, I hope to join the troupe this year as it has been suggested I go to rehersals at least and take it from there as befits my feeling and ability, for they know I am sensitive and self depreciating.
But gender sensitive because though male, I am more comfortable with females but being male I don't fit in with females from most others perspectives but I don't fit in with males either from my own perspective and asexual I am no threat to women but I am perceived to be or is it I insult masculinity.
Anyhoo, it is a difficult time for me now understanding why I am this way, the understanding is comfortable but it does not help society where I have to exist, I am comfortable in androgyny but society seeks the binary, we are at odds as ever we were, but at least I understand why now, and it is biological, perhaps even designed by nature for there are many names to describe through antiquity and across the world's surface, where Khawal and Mukhannath could fit in terms of the regions where this dance comes from. Yeah I understand the connotations but perhaps one cannot deny what nature made them and perhaps the connotations are of the usual binary perspective in that they have no idea what it is like to be naturally or as God intended; between the binaries as I understand there are various Hadith protecting.
But apologies to all regards my gender sensitivity, for I seek true equality in all things non biological for equality in my view is humanity evolving for we are all human after all.
And guess what, belly dance has caused a lot of this for that feeling women feel when performing this dance males feel it too and with many males it really does cause them to question and research and with some, to seek karyotype testing to have their suspicions confirmed, but I am thankful to belly dance for it has made me use science to seek the truth of myself a truth I was for decades avoiding because I suspected I was not what I was trying to be, but given what I was, I had to fit in somewhere where the logical choice was what I was nearest to, although I was never comfortable.
Okay so to belly dance, don't worry I am not another cross dressing male, a female wannabe and although Zorba leads the way regards dancing in skirts, I will refrain mostly and actually seek the Galabiya as Egyptian style is what I do and Miro looks just male and nothing else besides beautiful in dance if I am allowed to say that? And besides if the bedlah is the female belly dance uniform, what is the male if it is not the galabiya, maybe those more knowledgeable might like to comment as many may understand as in real life male attire in dance is rather limited.
But one day my friends, you know who you are from years past you will see me making an ass of myself on youtube for I just have to be the novelty act and the P.I.T.A to my dance school as in what do we do with the male. Although I have just reconnected with my old dance class who perform mostly, they are very encouraging to me.
Part two to come, beware.
But gender sensitive because though male, I am more comfortable with females but being male I don't fit in with females from most others perspectives but I don't fit in with males either from my own perspective and asexual I am no threat to women but I am perceived to be or is it I insult masculinity.
Anyhoo, it is a difficult time for me now understanding why I am this way, the understanding is comfortable but it does not help society where I have to exist, I am comfortable in androgyny but society seeks the binary, we are at odds as ever we were, but at least I understand why now, and it is biological, perhaps even designed by nature for there are many names to describe through antiquity and across the world's surface, where Khawal and Mukhannath could fit in terms of the regions where this dance comes from. Yeah I understand the connotations but perhaps one cannot deny what nature made them and perhaps the connotations are of the usual binary perspective in that they have no idea what it is like to be naturally or as God intended; between the binaries as I understand there are various Hadith protecting.
But apologies to all regards my gender sensitivity, for I seek true equality in all things non biological for equality in my view is humanity evolving for we are all human after all.
And guess what, belly dance has caused a lot of this for that feeling women feel when performing this dance males feel it too and with many males it really does cause them to question and research and with some, to seek karyotype testing to have their suspicions confirmed, but I am thankful to belly dance for it has made me use science to seek the truth of myself a truth I was for decades avoiding because I suspected I was not what I was trying to be, but given what I was, I had to fit in somewhere where the logical choice was what I was nearest to, although I was never comfortable.
Okay so to belly dance, don't worry I am not another cross dressing male, a female wannabe and although Zorba leads the way regards dancing in skirts, I will refrain mostly and actually seek the Galabiya as Egyptian style is what I do and Miro looks just male and nothing else besides beautiful in dance if I am allowed to say that? And besides if the bedlah is the female belly dance uniform, what is the male if it is not the galabiya, maybe those more knowledgeable might like to comment as many may understand as in real life male attire in dance is rather limited.
But one day my friends, you know who you are from years past you will see me making an ass of myself on youtube for I just have to be the novelty act and the P.I.T.A to my dance school as in what do we do with the male. Although I have just reconnected with my old dance class who perform mostly, they are very encouraging to me.
Part two to come, beware.