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  1. #1
    Member AndreaSTL's Avatar
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    Default Inspiration for accepting yourself

    I struggle with accepting my physical self, and usually when I hear or read something about being OK with who you are I'm cynical. I rationalize because they're young/thin/fit etc. The photos and descriptions are self submitted, and it's interesting how the things we consider flaws may not even be apparent to other people. Self acceptance is definitely a work in progress for me, but this sort of thing helps. I?m Awesome and So Are You | Go Kaleo

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Mosaic's Avatar
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    We all have flaws, perceived & real - Maybe by posting their flaws it gives them an extra boost to begin liking themselves, it could rebound as well seeing themselves out there on the internet with "all their flaws", causing them to become even more down on themselves. What would happen if someone posted I have fabulous this & that & perfect figure & I'm awesome. Would they be accepted or perceived as vain or full of it & "crashing the party to show off"... I wonder.

    Still the concept is pretty good & may help others to be more accepting I don't think it helped me, I am one of those who has been struggling to accept my aging self, extra weight, skin changes, thinning hair, wrinkles, flab here & there, arthritis & so forth - all I can think of is "aging sucks" BIG time & whoever said we should grow old gracefully was a total screw loose & it's time some genius scientist came up with an anti aging pill, I'd take 3 thank you very much
    ~Mosaic
    Dance is like glitter, it not only colours your life, it makes you sparkle, you find it everywhere and in everything and it's near impossible to get rid of. (unknown)


  3. #3
    Member AndreaSTL's Avatar
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    Getting old isn't for sissies, that's for sure!

    What I liked about this was that these ladies sent their own pics in listing their own flaws. They don't care about having bellies, stretch marks, and thick thighs. In spite of not fitting the media's definition of beauty they are pretty OK with themselves. I aspire to be happy in my own skin.

    If someone posted themselves and noted that their hair was perfect, boobs were perfect, they have a genius IQ - yeah, I'd be rolling my eyes and thinking "Get over yourself." It's one thing to accept yourself but quite another to feel like you're a gift to the gene pool.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Mosaic's Avatar
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    I do agree, the ladies are pretty cool about their flaws. Mind you I'd love to say to myself hell I'm perfect & mean it- but even if I do try to kid myself & say I am, the little devil on my shoulder keeps whispering "who do you think you're kidding" LOL! But overall I am OK with who I am, sure I'd like all the perfect bits & pieces, but that ain't going to happen, so I just have be content that so far everything works although the knees groan if I squat down, & the back kills me if I do heavy lifting or scrub floors on hands & knees, & I have natural grey streaks in my hair, no artificial blonde ones these days - Even though I have been forced to accept myself whether I like it or not, I still have those moments of "I wish"
    ~Mosaic
    Dance is like glitter, it not only colours your life, it makes you sparkle, you find it everywhere and in everything and it's near impossible to get rid of. (unknown)


  5. #5
    Moderator Amulya's Avatar
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    It's really sad that there seems to be a culture amongst woman to complain about their looks when they are in groups. It is like some sort bonding ritual, where everybody starts talking about their flaws or about being on diet and if someone doesn't join in they don't really belong to the group. It's a horrible thing. Why not bond in a positive way? Lucky my friends don't do this, but I encountered this in past groups of friends and I always found it very negative. It doesn't help people getting a good self esteem I think. I don't know where this kind of habit came from, if women have always done it or if it's a newer thing. If its just a western cultural thing or is it world wide.

  6. #6
    V.I.P. khanjar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amulya View Post
    It's really sad that there seems to be a culture amongst woman to complain about their looks when they are in groups. It is like some sort bonding ritual, where everybody starts talking about their flaws or about being on diet and if someone doesn't join in they don't really belong to the group. It's a horrible thing. Why not bond in a positive way? Lucky my friends don't do this, but I encountered this in past groups of friends and I always found it very negative. It doesn't help people getting a good self esteem I think. I don't know where this kind of habit came from, if women have always done it or if it's a newer thing. If its just a western cultural thing or is it world wide.

    It has come from centuries of something called in art circles; the male gaze where women have been trained to understand everything is about their looks in society, women must be fastidious with their appearance or they are considered any number of derogatory things so the onus to tow patriarchal society's line is an essential one. But now we live in a different society where the media controls our thought, word and deed and so it presents it's ideal which is an industry, it makes money from selling us what attractive is where we have to comply as what would people say if we didn't, we would be out of polite society through being unfashionable.

    Now I am not a woman, so I don't know, but my feeling is what is happening with women grouping together and tearing holes in their looks is pure rebellion, rebellion against what is and what has always been as women's roles in society have changed for women can do any job a man can do so juggling this living reality with ancient concepts of beauty isn't working and probably never did, but women are more aware now of the torture they are put through regards their looks where some, the more confident perhaps are deciding sod it, I am what I am and it is the confident that are influencing the less so, where undoubtedly there will be some yet to come across the confident to be educated in the reality that the fashion industry via the media and it's ancient motivator, the male gaze is just fantasy and a fantasy best laughed at as it's not real.

    And so we now have the metrosexual male and males are starting to understand what females have been put through, where there are females now commenting on what is the ideal looking male where not all males are coming up to scratch because well nature has it males are attracted to females so what a male looks like is not that important, what is, is a number of things depending on the suitor as the maternal instinct has been turned off with many as they seek different things in life.

    And yes, I have been in a group of males where the males have torn holes in their appearance, but then the males I commune with are modern males.

  7. #7
    Moderator Shanazel's Avatar
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    Default gativity

    I have to agree with Amulya: defiant negativity is still negativity. Also I can't imagine anything much duller than sitting around with a bunch of people itemizing real and imagined physical flaws, except perhaps sitting at the computer listing my personal qualities and quantities and declaring to the cyberworld that I am fine as fuck because of/in spite of them.



    As a beauty I'm not a great star,
    There are others more handsome by far,
    But my face, I don't mind it,
    Because I'm behind it--
    'Tis the folks in the front that I jar.


  8. #8
    Moderator Darshiva's Avatar
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    I would just like to state for the record that I think I'm pretty awesome. There are parts of me that aren't as pretty as they used to be, or as up, or as flat or as round as they used to be, but I call that aging and get on with my life.

    And I have not seen a single one of you on this website who I don't think also looks pretty awesome. The fat one, the thin ones, the tall ones, the short ones - you are all beautiful and it really pains me to see people being cruel to themselves.

    I don't like this website (the linked one!) because of the way these women describe themselves and then justify their looks. I've seen their pictures - they are all beautiful too. Why have such negativity? And why hate on people who do love themselves? It's markedly different from vanity - it's repsect for the one person who's opinion is with you day in, day out, for the rest of your life.

    I love my eyes. I used to get mercilessly bullied about them because they are large for my frame, especially when I'm thinner. My eyes are these huge, expressive windows to my soul. Gorgeous, almond-shaped and bright green, they smile for me even if you can't see my mouth.

    I love my bottom. It used to be big and round and firm, but now it's softer and I find it perfect for nice juicy shimmies.

    I love my arms. They used to be firmer and more muscular, but now they are expressive - especially in regards to displaying my love. My arms are perfect for hugging.

    I love my legs. They're quite long for my height and they used to be thinner, but now they are dancers legs, full of power hidden by thighs that brush lovingly against each other when I walk.

    I love my belly. It was never flat, but it's now softer than it once was. It does the most amazing bellyrolls ever, and the juiciest jewels and figure eights.

    I love my hair. The silver is coming in now, taking it from the gorgeous coppery caramel into a twinkling delight.

    I love everything about my body - the softness, the hardness, the wrinkles and cellulite - they all bring texture and colour to ME!

  9. #9
    Moderator Farasha Hanem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darshiva View Post
    I would just like to state for the record that I think I'm pretty awesome. There are parts of me that aren't as pretty as they used to be, or as up, or as flat or as round as they used to be, but I call that aging and get on with my life.

    And I have not seen a single one of you on this website who I don't think also looks pretty awesome. The fat one, the thin ones, the tall ones, the short ones - you are all beautiful and it really pains me to see people being cruel to themselves.

    I don't like this website (the linked one!) because of the way these women describe themselves and then justify their looks. I've seen their pictures - they are all beautiful too. Why have such negativity? And why hate on people who do love themselves? It's markedly different from vanity - it's repsect for the one person who's opinion is with you day in, day out, for the rest of your life.

    I love my eyes. I used to get mercilessly bullied about them because they are large for my frame, especially when I'm thinner. My eyes are these huge, expressive windows to my soul. Gorgeous, almond-shaped and bright green, they smile for me even if you can't see my mouth.

    I love my bottom. It used to be big and round and firm, but now it's softer and I find it perfect for nice juicy shimmies.

    I love my arms. They used to be firmer and more muscular, but now they are expressive - especially in regards to displaying my love. My arms are perfect for hugging.

    I love my legs. They're quite long for my height and they used to be thinner, but now they are dancers legs, full of power hidden by thighs that brush lovingly against each other when I walk.

    I love my belly. It was never flat, but it's now softer than it once was. It does the most amazing bellyrolls ever, and the juiciest jewels and figure eights.

    I love my hair. The silver is coming in now, taking it from the gorgeous coppery caramel into a twinkling delight.

    I love everything about my body - the softness, the hardness, the wrinkles and cellulite - they all bring texture and colour to ME!
    o.O Wait..."AGING"??? Where? Where? >.> <.< >.> You can't be much older than my daughter! @___@

  10. #10
    Moderator Darshiva's Avatar
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    I'm 37. Aging happens to all of us - from the moment we are born to the last beat of our hearts, we are aging. Why not rejoice in it?

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