Hello from finding myself again :)

[saira]

Good afternoon ladies

My name is Saira, I am 35 years old, a single mother of two boys aged 10 and 4 and I am a direct response copywriter and marketing consultant.

I started bellydance last year when I split from my husband of 9 years and my confidence and self-esteem was rock bottom. I had 4 months of private tuition with a classical Egyption teacher who was wonderful - I have since had to stop the classes as a) I could no longer afford and b) we moved to another city after my marriage irrevocably broke down (I am now divorced raising my boys)

So after a long break, I got thrust into the world of bellydance again when my sister got married and insisted I had to do a choreographed bellydance to a darbuka beat!!!

I've always LOVED watching bellydance as it's such a beautiful art form and myself I am playing with styles and have not yet decided which path I want to go down.

My favourite dancers to watch are Rachel Brice, Sadie (total fave ), Didem, Irena Akelenko and Rahel.

Right now I have subscribed to DaturaOnline which I am REALLY enjoying and am in the process of trying to figure out how to put together a plan for doing my practise as I really have a short amount of time for practise.

I am pretty overweight (UK size 20) and for health reasons am using bellydance to help me not only get myself fit and get my weight down, but to really try and build my self-esteem and confidence.

At some point, I would like to find someone again (I MIGHT start thinking about it in a year or so, right now I am busy working full time and trying to be a good mum) and I think being comfortable with my body will most certainly help me feel confident and less self conscious. I know it will also help me love rather than loathe the curves I have. Well that's me in a nutshell...

 

[Darshiva]

I haven't personally experienced the divorce part but I've been overweight, broken and single. The advice I give to you is sincere and I hope that you will take it to heart.

Don't even bother focusing on finding another someone. Focus on loving yourself completely & with all your soul. If someone comes along who appreciates that, fantastic, but if they don't, it won't matter because you will have such joy at simply being. If you don't know how to start loving yourself, ask your boys. They know what there is to love about you!

Wishing you many happy shimmies in the years to come!

 

[saira]

I haven't personally experienced the divorce part but I've been overweight, broken and single. The advice I give to you is sincere and I hope that you will take it to heart.

Don't even bother focusing on finding another someone. Focus on loving yourself completely & with all your soul. If someone comes along who appreciates that, fantastic, but if they don't, it won't matter because you will have such joy at simply being. If you don't know how to start loving yourself, ask your boys. They know what there is to love about you!

Wishing you many happy shimmies in the years to come!

Thank you so much - a wonderful piece of advice. I too know deep down that I have to focus on accepting me as a whole person warts and all and really get to grips with loving who I am - if I can't, then I can't expect anyone else too either.

l must admit I get lonely with no one to talk to. It's not about the love, more about the companionship and having someone who is there to support. I have been on my own for over 3 years now, and I am pretty used to it...although admittedly, when my kids go spend time with their dad, I get scared on my own and either invite my sisters to come stay over or I go stay over at my parents.


I work from home so have very little interaction with people other than my work colleagues (all women!) and family and a few close knit friends. For me bellydance is a way to help me re-connect with myself and remind myself that I am amazing in my own way. It's also about me building my confidence so that like you say - when the right person does come along (if they do!) I can feel at one with myself.

Happy shimmies indeed

 

[Shanazel]

Welcome to you, Saira! Pull off your coat, throw it in a corner, and stay awhile.

 

[Mosaic]

Welcome Saira, you are amongst friends here so stick around. Darshiva gave great advice, so true get to know you ... besides your children you are the most important person to you & your children. Enjoy your bellydance journey it's fascinating, joyful & fun
~Mosaic

 

[gisela]

Welcome!
Try to find out if there's a Hafla (bellydance party) anywhere in your area. They are usually not terribly expensive and could offer inspiration and some new friendships.

 

[saira]

Awww thank you so much ladies - I feel instantly at home and is a breath of fresh air for me - I work from home so don't get out much and that with my kids keeps me busy most of the time. It's nice to feel connected to a community even from a virtual place!