Retiring from dance: how to deal with the new reality

Shanazel

Shanazel

Moderator
Mosaic recently mentioned retiring and I heard a while back that A'isha Azar had retired. I declared my active dancing days done about 18 months ago, thanks to various joints that don't cooperate in a dependable manner. I am still able to teach so I'm not out of the loop all together but sometimes I do feel bereft. How are others dealing with retirement, I wonder? Keeping a hip in through teaching, costuming, music, or just walking away without a backward glance?
 
Farasha Hanem

Farasha Hanem

New member
Not retired or retiring, but I don't think there's any such thing as "walking away without a backwards glance." <3 Even when I'm ancient and can't shimmy without leaning on my cane for support, I'll always be involved with bellydance in some way. <3
 
Zorba

Zorba

"The Veiled Male"
I've always said that I'll quit dancing when they pry my veil from my cold, stiff, dead fingers!

Now reality may differ, I'll just have to wait to see how that works out.

A lot of people never really stop, they just dance at a "lower level". We have an 84 year old in our troupe, she's been a dancer her entire life and it shows! She can't do spins anymore, so we choreograph around that and/or there's a couple of dances she doesn't do. But she's a valued part of our troupe, and lots of fun! We also had a gal in the Greek dance troupe I was in who didn't hang it up until she was 91!

I also know several dancers who "retired", then several years later came back! I'm taking classes from a 70 year old right now who can out-dance just about anybody, and she TOTALLY classic AmCab! She came out of retirement after about 5 years...

I hope I "go out" on the dance floor myself - a massive heart attack, stroke, or aneurysm - dead before my head hits the floor and my veil will flutter prettily down and cover me!
 
Bellydance Oz

Bellydance Oz

Member
I've never been a professional belly dancer but I've danced all my adult life and I'm struggling with what to do now. I'm 62 now, and though I love dance, I'm wondering if it's stopped loving me.

What happened - I moved to a new area, got settled and started looking around for classes. As it happened, the local schools were having their hafla the next day, so they asked me if I'd perform, since they were short of acts. I said yes, of course (you never have to ask me twice to get on a stage!). I hadn't danced for a few months due to the upheaval of moving but I was confident I could do one of my old routines.

Bottom line - I gave the worst performance of my entire life, ever. It was a disaster. I've been aware that my dancing hasn't been as good for the last year or so, since I had my spinal op - but this was truly, truly awful. I am still cringing at the thought of it.

So I'm asking myself, is it over? Do I retire gracefully? I know I could go on dancing at a "lower level" as Zorba says, but I'm not sure that will be enough for me.
 
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Darshiva

Darshiva

Moderator
Give yourself a break hon. Everyone has a dud performance on their record, and you should definitely forgive yourself this one in light of the fact you're recovering from surgery!

Keep dancing as long as it makes you happy!
 
Shanazel

Shanazel

Moderator
My most heartfelt sympathy to you, Oz. My farewell performance was definitely "dancing at a lower level" and that level is simply not good enough for me to enjoy public performance anymore. I NEVER want to hear ANY version of "Isn't she amazing... for her age?"

I've retired from performance four times now: at roughly 26, 33, 42, and 59. I teach and I dance with my dancers at our end of semester parties but dance for an audience? Those days are gone along with my waistline and the ability to stand up without slowing for joints to adjust to the movement.

Truth be told, I wouldn't even teach if a) the money wasn't good, and more importantly b) because I have such great students and if I don't teach, there's no one to pick up the slack. I've been encouraging one gal in particular to think about taking over for me but it puts her in a cold sweat to officially be the one in front of the class.

My heart isn't ready to quit but my body is saying, "Damn all enough, already!" ;)
 
Darshiva

Darshiva

Moderator
Get her to help out in class. Start out small and then gradually get her to take over more and more of the class until she's the one everyone recognises as the teacher. Sometimes it's the only way.
 
Shanazel

Shanazel

Moderator
Been doing that for some time. She's great at helping out, as are many of my students, but she goes into deer in the headlights mode when she tries to teach a class. I think the truth of the matter is that this is her fun and making the adjustment to thinking of it as a job throws her. She has done some performing but more as part of the social occasion than as a professional, even though she was paid. Going truly professional either as performer or teacher requires an attitude adjustment some folks can't make.

We'll keep plugging away. I think :think: I'm good for another year or two, anyway.
 
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S

Suzanne Azhaar

Active member
I'm happy about retiring from professional performances. Currently enjoy cheering for others, helping sew an occasional costume, the social joy of seeing old friends and making new ones. If I perform once a year, I'm okay with that.
 
Bellydance Oz

Bellydance Oz

Member
Shanazel said:
My most heartfelt sympathy to you, Oz. My farewell performance was definitely "dancing at a lower level" and that level is simply not good enough for me to enjoy public performance anymore. I NEVER want to hear ANY version of "Isn't she amazing... for her age?"
Click to expand...

I think that's what is in the back of my mind. I gave up flamenco because I couldn't keep up the speed of footwork any more, and I couldn't enjoy doing a half-baked version of the dance.
 
Daimona

Daimona

Moderator
Bellydance Oz said:
I think that's what is in the back of my mind. I gave up flamenco because I couldn't keep up the speed of footwork any more, and I couldn't enjoy doing a half-baked version of the dance.
Click to expand...

So you didn't consider doing old-school flamenco, i.e. the way it was before all the fancy footwork got the main focus? ;)
(said with tongue-in-cheek, sorry for being a bit off topic)
 
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Bellydance Oz

Bellydance Oz

Member
Daimona said:
So you didn't consider doing old-school flamenco, i.e. the way it was before all the fancy footwork got the main focus? ;)
(said with tongue-in-cheek, sorry for being a bit off topic)
Click to expand...

Oh, I wish!

I have always thought I was born several decades too late - even though I love flamenco, I get bored watching dancers do nothing but show off how clever they are with rhythms and how fast their feet are. I can admire their ability, just like I can admire an athlete's ability to jump or run, but it's too monotonous for me.
 
Shanazel

Shanazel

Moderator
That's kinda like all the body gymnastics that began to be a substitute for genuine dance in belly dance a few years back.
 
Zorba

Zorba

"The Veiled Male"
Shanazel said:
That's kinda like all the body gymnastics that began to be a substitute for genuine dance in belly dance a few years back.
Click to expand...
Yea, or flopping around with a prop (usually a veil) to disguise lack of dance ability.
 
Shanazel

Shanazel

Moderator
My dear, of COURSE it was deliberate. How can you doubt me? :shok:

I always knew those little silk fans were gateway drugs to bigger fans. Next thing you know, someone is going to be drifting around on the end of a parachute and calling it belly dance.

(Please don't tell me it has been done. I'm not a strong woman.)
 
Zorba

Zorba

"The Veiled Male"
Ok, someone please pass the mind bleach and then tell me WTF *THAT* was all about?

The guy with the huge fan was lovely - for the short time the video lasted. Anything beyond that would have been boring as all get out! But I really hope I never see either of these at a Belly Dance festival...
 
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