How do I watch a bellydancer??

janaki

New member
How do I watch a bellydancer? Where do I look? Do I look at her belly? Is it rude just to look at her belly? I am uncomfortable!!!

These are the questions asked by my workmates when I took them to watch a bellydance perfromance. To tell you the truth, I couldn't give a proper answers. I did say that they should look at the bellydancer as a whole not just the belly, but it didn't make sense to them. One guy said, "the dancer is doing some amazing stuff with her belly, how can I look at her else where??"

Did this happen to any one? If so, how did/do you answer these questions??

Cheers
Janaki
 

Didi

New member
Speaking of uncomfortable...

Once we went to a Greek restaurant with some friends who brought along their friends, and one guy went bright red in the face when the belly dancer approached our table and then stared at the table the whole time. The dancer was really nice about it and tried to kind of be flirty and show it was all right to look at her, that it was nothing shameful. (Don't ask me how she did this without words; it would be quite beyond me, but she managed it splendidly.) Anyway, he was very uncomfortable and nothing we said seemed to make it any better.:(

I think after this experience the bottom line is to relax and enjoy the performance. Wherever you want to look is probably fine. I mean she's dancing with her whole body, face, personality, and she wants you to enjoy what she can do; right? The other night at a Lebanese place, my friends and I were so impressed by one dancer's graceful arms that we told her how much we admired her arm and hand movements as we tipped her, and she seemed so pleased.

I suppose if you're not panting laciviously while staring at her breasts or something, it's fine. I say just relax and look at whatever impresses or entertains you or stirs your heart with its beauty. For me, that's often the whole picture. ;)

Didi
 

KuteNurse

New member
lol da Sage! I think that a belly dancer that is performing has a more professional status going for her. She has practiced and she feels comfortable enough to wear that stunning and sexy costume. She freely bares her midriff wanting people to look at her while she dances to show off her polished moves.

I went to a greek restaurant, (daSage knows it), in the Twin Cities this past winter. One of the dancers looked beautiful on stage, however, her skirt was down low on her butt, showing a little more than it should have. It must have slipped during her performance. I being the mother and nurse that I am, wanted to pull it back up for her...lol I didnt of course. Also, she was sweating profusely. It was not hot in the restaurant, so it could have been nerves, but once again, I wanted to tell her to sit down and rest in cool air and to drink some water so she didnt dehydrate. (The nurse again.) I was concerned she had not eaten or that she was sick and she shouldnt have been performing in the first place. (Gastroenteritis was going around.) I think everyone has a different reason for watching BDers and that reason sets precedence to what they look at and look for during her performance. Some are more critical because they know more about the dance, others may think it is sexy and they focus on the midriff and breasts and legs. Others like the guy turn bright red and they do not know what to do when the dancer comes near. I do not think there is a right or wrong way to look at the dancer unless, the thoughts are of pure evil.

I PROMISE I will not pull your skirt up while dancing or pull you from the stage if you are sweating to take a break! lol
 

Maria_Aya

New member
Heyyyyy I'll tell you the trick...
As a fellow dancer/teacher its my obligation to save the dancer from the humiliation, so I take a small tip go near her, tip her, and wisper to her ear the problem. (thats why they love me he he lol)
Till now the usual things are, a) skirt too low, b) skirt twisted and the cut is right in front or behind !! c) nipple out of bra (yes !!!)

Now about how to watch a bellydancer i can give 2 answers:
a) for the audience not related with bellydance, just to relax and enjoy it, have fun, dont be too much close with the bellydancer and look whats moving each time, if we didnt want people to look at us we would be dancing.
b) for the bellydance audience, even if you dont like what you see, try to have a polite smile, and NOT comment during the show with your friends about how bad the dancer is (its very rude, and you have all the time to do it after lol).
If you are known in your bellydance community and the dancer after aproach you for a comment, say something positive (whatever you find but real) like nice costume, nice hair, nice veil, whatever, save the correcting comments for another time, another day, a night of a performance is stressfull anyway, and the dancer may take it more negative than what you mean.
Farida Fahmy have a priceless way to look at dancers, she look, inhale her sigaret, take out the smoke and smile !!! its amazing !!! its Classic !!!

Kisses
maria aya
 

Didi

New member
Very helpful...

Maria Aya,

I appreciated your answer to this question very much. Very well thought-out and informative. It is nice to get the perspective of someone who obviously has a lot of practical experience ;)

Didi

P.S. You've seen a nipple poking out??? :shok: Thank God you had a way to tell the poor dancer!
 

sultan

New member
How? Easy - just do as you would with any art form: take in the entire picture all at once, enjoy the moment, and reflect upon the divinely inspired craftwork you have just witnessed.
 

TribalDancer

New member
I was an ASL interpreter student for a time, and I find that the same holds true in dancing as it does in ASL. the hands (hips) are where the words are being "spoken", but the full meaning is not understood unless you really look at the whole person.

I try to divide my time between reading the "words" (hips) and the "full story (body, facial exression, etc), and it is the best overall experience for me. :) Spending too much time concentrating on one or the other, and you miss out on the full "story"!
 

da Sage

New member
the ASL/bellydance connection

Tangent:

I keep on running into bellydancers who have been/studied to be ASL interpreters...much more than in the general population. I wonder why?

ps I'm one too...
 

Sara

New member
Ahh, cheers for explaining. My mate does English Sign language I guess. She translates and stuff.
 

charity

New member
i say the BIG donts:

dont be licking your lips all the time
dont forget to blink cause that will come off creepy
dont touch
dont wiggle around in your seat
dont whisper back and forth between people at table
dont ignore dancer either that seems rude too

i think thats the big ones.

I was an ASL interpreter student for a time, and I find that the same holds true in dancing as it does in ASL. the hands (hips) are where the words are being "spoken", but the full meaning is not understood unless you really look at the whole person.

i agree but to someone unfamiliar with bd, hula dance etc etc i dont even think they know that a "story" is being told. i think many just construe it as an exotic dance. exotic as in- not originating from US, English, or European cultures.

i would think from the audience most people would be able to decipher what is appropriate or inappropriate behavour.
 

KuteNurse

New member
i say the BIG donts:

dont be licking your lips all the time
dont forget to blink cause that will come off creepy
dont touch
dont wiggle around in your seat
dont whisper back and forth between people at table
dont ignore dancer either that seems rude too

i think thats the big ones.



i agree but to someone unfamiliar with bd, hula dance etc etc i dont even think they know that a "story" is being told. i think many just construe it as an exotic dance. exotic as in- not originating from US, English, or European cultures.

i would think from the audience most people would be able to decipher what is appropriate or inappropriate behavour.

Interesting that you mentioned hula dancing. I have wondered if polynesian dancing has any roots from belly dancing. Does anyone know the answer to this question?
 

Babylonia

New member
ASL Threadjack

My husband and I are learning sign language! My 5yo is also learning. Actually she started learning on her own for fun from some kiddie shows and was using signs with us and we've just taken it from there. We've been learning from dvds but will take a class in the fall. :)
 

Eshta

New member
I sometimes feel a bit sorry for 'uninitiated' men when I'm dancing at restaurants! Of course when you're sitting at a table, your head is in direct line with the belly dancer's hips, and I often see guys struggling with how to watch me!

Often these guys will just look up at my face and smile appreciatively, and refuse to allow their eyes to go any further south. This is sweet, but my hips are working really hard and would like some appreciation too:D!

The other ones are the ones whose gaze flits furtively between the girlfriend/wife and a sideways fearful glance at my hips, but never daring to look up at my face. These I feel the most sorry for, you can almost smell his fear!

And the third group is the guy who completely tries to blank out the shimmying, flying sequins and beads standing just to the side of him!

I agree with Maria, if I didn't want to be looked at, I wouldn't be putting on a sparkly costume and dancing around a restaurant (hmmm captive audience!) to loud music! There are better ways of not drawing attention to oneself than that! I think the general consensus is to try to look at the dancer as a whole, RELAX and don't think too much about where your eye should/shouldn't be going, and just enjoy it!
 

da Sage

New member
You ladies will never guess what happened yesterday! I went to watch my teacher dance at a local restaurant, and a couple walked out on her act! :shok:

The dancer made her entrance with a beautiful red silk veil, swept around the restaurant, and then did some pretty veil work onstage. Finally she tossed the veil aside (to move on with her set), and the veil fell down beside a young preppy (college?) boy who was there with his girlfriend. Next thing I knew, they left abruptly - they checked out at the register instead of waiting for their tab, and they hadn't been there long at all.:(

I asked my friend if she thought the girlfriend was upset by the dancer, and she said no, she thought it was the guy (he looked stern and upset to me too)! I thought that was very strange. Maybe he did not expect a belly dancer, but why wouldn't he stick around to enjoy the show?:think:

Has this happened before to any dancers here?
 

janaki

New member
Hi da sage,


I think the boy left cos he didn't want to get into trouble for watching the bellydancer. I am sure if he is with a male buddy of his, I am sure, he would be drooling!!!!

Cheers
Janaki
 

da Sage

New member
I think the boy left cos he didn't want to get into trouble for watching the bellydancer. I am sure if he is with a male buddy of his, I am sure, he would be drooling!!!!

Maybe. But it seemed more like he was angry, and the girl just went along with him. I don't know what the problem was.
 
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