For a brief while I was saving their emails up, then forwarding them to each other. It gave me a little satisfaction, but became too much work. Then I started replying with the foulest language I could think of (pretty foul) but that, too, became tiresome.
Now, I just tell them I'll be happy to teach their twin boys Jeffrey and William, or whatever, and fulfill their circuitous payment routine, but first, could they please send me a recent photo, a lock of their hair and some nail clippings? A small request, I say, for some figurines I'm making...
Now, where are those hatpins?
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