I need good honest advice

[catwoman]

Am I wrong to want to learn and experience more?

Because if I’m not, why do I feel so bad about wanting something other than what my teacher has to offer? What’s makes worse is that For a good while I have been aware that she cannot offer what I’m looking for, a fact compounded after reading replies to a post on another thread. I know that some of her other students take classes with other teachers, so why do I feel like a 1st class S**T for wanting to do the same?

When I started classes, my teacher was the only ‘real live’ bellydancer I’d ever seen before, maybe if I’d have known about the “bad press” I wouldn’t have gone, but in the absence of any other info (no internet), I took a recommendation, and jumped at the chance. Maybe I should have taken my friend Jeans’ advice and found a new teacher earlier, but, I stayed (as Jean keeps telling me - loyal to a fault).

Kind Regards

 

[slinks]

If your teacher is not giving you what you want, then by all means I would definately move on .. there are a couple of things to bear in mind here "is she a good teacher" if she is, then supplement her with dvds, "is she teaching a style you'd rather not be doing" then look around for the style you want ...

Taking two classes can get pricey, you'd have to sit down and search within and without "find what you want" then go for it

Not sure what "bad press" means here .. but you don't have to stay where you don't want to be ..

 

[Sara]

Heyas,

I have exactly the same probbers. My teacher can't offer what I need, but cause I feel guilty I still pay to go to a lesson where I int learning owt. It's only these past few weeks that I haven't gone. If she can't offer you what you need, then you should move on. We shouldn't be the ones to feel guilty.

 

[Reen.Blom]

Why feel guilty? This natural to "outgrow" the class or if you figure out that it is not what you are looking for? Sometimes it helps to see an advanced class of a teacher to see what she is teaching- I was lucky enough to attend a class (as a spectator) of one of the teachers I was considering, it was a class that been dancing for a year and all they can do is some fitness-type stuff to shakira's music...

I figured out what I liked better and also another dance school gave me option to choose between 2 teachers! (I am happy to have made the right choice to later figure out that my teacher is my brother's former class-mate...LOL)

By all means get out and move on!

 

[Aniseteph]

You are absolutely utterly 100% NOT WRONG in wanting to learn and experience more! It is something to be proud of IMHO.

Remember you are paying for dance lessons, not to belong to a cult demanding loyalty (trying not to read between the lines too much here...). If you aren't getting what you want for your money you are free to take it elsewhere, you owe her nothing, just the respect for having introduced you to belly dance.

Wanting to grow and develop is GOOD, moving forward is good. Teachers who love their subject are really happy to have inspired you into wanting take it further, recognise that they don't know it all, that there are other styles and other ways of teaching that might suit some students better. The "thou shalt have no belly dance teacher but me" type is deeply suspect IMO.

We all start somewhere - sometimes you jump in and get lucky, sometimes you don't. As a beginner you are not to know. The good thing is you found belly dance at all :dance:

 

[perfumeshop]

Am I wrong to want to learn and experience more?

Because if I’m not, why do I feel so bad about wanting something other than what my teacher has to offer? What’s makes worse is that For a good while I have been aware that she cannot offer what I’m looking for, a fact compounded after reading replies to a post on another thread. I know that some of her other students take classes with other teachers, so why do I feel like a 1st class S**T for wanting to do the same?

When I started classes, my teacher was the only ‘real live’ bellydancer I’d ever seen before, maybe if I’d have known about the “bad press” I wouldn’t have gone, but in the absence of any other info (no internet), I took a recommendation, and jumped at the chance. Maybe I should have taken my friend Jeans’ advice and found a new teacher earlier, but, I stayed (as Jean keeps telling me - loyal to a fault).Kind Regards

So you find Tesco does not provide you with what you need, is it disloyal to shop at Sainsbury's?
We teachers are paid for our services/goods like everything else. If there are other teachers in your area try them out. You may after all return to your original teacher. Of course we all feel bad when we leave a teacher who has been our first teacher. I stopped going to lessons not because my teacher was a bad teacher or that maybe she couldn't teach me something, she can BUT she constantly has to teach new students and sorts out classes which suit the majority. This wasn't my friend and I so we formed a troupe and practise and go to workshops and I was then asked to start teaching in a nearby town. Disloyal, yes we felt it but the classes were no longer meeting our needs.And she understood that. And I made sure not to teach on her patch.
If I remember rightly, you, like me are on Merseyside and there are some good teachers on both sides of the river..try them all out.
As for bad publicity and I assume we are talking about the teacher on the other threads, if it doesn't affect you personally and you were happy with your tuition then I'd ignore it.
And I have lost a student recently, one of my longest standing. She had started going to a class with another teacher who is in her own area and is finding travelling to me a bind now she has a local teacher. Yes I am sad to lose her but I understand her reasoning. Your teacher should also.

 

[Kharmine]

A good teacher will always attract students -- you are not obligated to help her meet the rent on her studio. Students will come and go and that's something any teacher must expect.

 

[Nat242]

Loyalty is a lovely thing, but if you are not getting what you need from the classes, if you are no longer growing as a student, it's time to move on. If you can afford to take two classes, maybe that's the way to go. If not, or if you don't feel that will be valuable to you, why not keep in touch with the old teacher and go to haflas and workshops she organises, so you're not burning bridges, and so you maintain the relationship.

Hopefully she is understanding and wishes you well.

Let us know what you decide!

 

[Shanazel]

I am a teacher, not a cult leader. When students move on, I wave and wish them good luck.

 

[Nat242]

I am a teacher, not a cult leader. When students move on, I wave and wish them good luck.

:lol: :lol: :clap:

 

[charity]

this arrangement may have worked for you in the beginning because it was suitable for your purposes at that time. dont feel guilty about taking your training from here to there and so forth and so on. sometimes this is the only way to get a complete education.

for me, i was going to class and supplementing it with dvd. if we were moving slow, i worked new stuff. i was learning a tribal fusion. not my desire but i joined anyway so that i could learn some bd basics. and for that it paid off but as i felt myself becoming ingrained in that style i realized i had to break away. prior to quitting i was racked with guilt but ultimately it came down to my goals. and on those i will not compromise.

belly dance is going to be a part of my future and so i want to learn it how i need to learn it in order to accomplish my long term goals.

moving on does not mean you are betraying your teacher. it means your are accomplishing what you set out to accomplish.

 

[charity]

and i wonder what you mean by bad press.

dont allow someone else to determine how you receive your teacher. if you are moving on because of bad press, well...thats not loyalty now is it?

is this another reason why you might feel guilty, you've allowed others to influence your decision to leave?

it is one other possibility now that i think about it. if press is this important to you, then you probably should move on. thats a decision you have to make.

 

[Maria_Aya]

I am a teacher, not a cult leader. When students move on, I wave and wish them good luck.

Exactly, and also for a teacher is not fair play to play psycological games with students (not saying that this is happening with your case).
Many teachers that know that they dont have enough knowledge keep their students with other ways and this is at least PATHETIC !!

Move on girl, if she is a good teacher and person she will wish you good luck, if not then you did the best thing to leave

Maria Aya

 

[perfumeshop]

Loyalty is a lovely thing, but if you are not getting what you need from the classes, if you are no longer growing as a student, it's time to move on. If you can afford to take two classes, maybe that's the way to go. If not, or if you don't feel that will be valuable to you, why not keep in touch with the old teacher and go to haflas and workshops she organises, so you're not burning bridges, and so you maintain the relationship.

Hopefully she is understanding and wishes you well.

Let us know what you decide!

I'm afraid if Catwoman is talking about the lady in our threads then no, she probably will NOT be understanding from what I hear from students who have left her. Of course I am sure the reverse is probably equally true. I have read evidence of her directed anger ......ray:

 

[Aisha Azar]

Teachers, etc.

I'm afraid if Catwoman is talking about the lady in our threads then no, she probably will NOT be understanding from what I hear from students who have left her. Of course I am sure the reverse is probably equally true. I have read evidence of her directed anger ......ray:

Dear Perfumeshop,
Please go to my website (Raqs Azar) and read an article there in the library called, "The Student/Instructor Relationship in Middle Eastern Dance". The article basically discusses the rights and responsibilities of students and teachers. One section discusses the loyalty issue as it applies. Dance teachers and math teachers are owed the same amount of loyalty and they both should expect the student to move on. Very reasonably, a student should have loyalty to the dance and not to the person who is a vehicle for passing on info about the dance. This does not give students a right to treat their teachers like dirt, but it does mean that they need to do what is best for them to learn the dance. This very much includes studying with the people of their honest choice.
I have had other teachers turn on people snakes because their students start taking classes from me. I finally called one of them because she was hurting our mutual student's feelings. She acted like she did not know what I was talking about, but she quit calling our student a "traitor" and worse things to the other students in her class. This ownership thing that some teachers feel toward their students is just ridiculous.
Regards,
A'isha

 

[nicknack]

In my book, belly dancing is the same as acting, you learn through observation, personal research, experience, and through classes with different teachers. With acting and dancing you need to be able to improvise, and know how to work with a script, how to put the emotion into it all and most importantly to develop your own unique style. There are many different techniques and "styles", and special areas of knowledge. In a proper drama school there are a myriad of teachers each with their areas of knowledge (acting for stage, film, vocal coaching, Elizabethan/ Jacobean, movement), and in the dancing world their are a myriad of specialists and teachers in different styles, and at all different levels......there are dancers who are also academics on the subject of dance and so on and so on. To grow and to improve we need to decide where we want to go with the dance, learn from many competent sources, take workshops, find the teachers who can offer what we need, bring this all together to form our own unique style (if we didn't the world would be full of boring bellydance clones).

There's nothing wrong with moving on when you've learned all that's possible to learn, it happens in all areas of life.

 

[Aniseteph]

..she probably will NOT be understanding from what I hear from students who have left her..

...calling our student a "traitor" and worse things to the other students in her class

Perhaps we should feel sorry for teachers who cannot handle the fact that they don't own their students; it must be psychologically exhausting to be driven to behave like this.

What is the point? It doesn't make you look big or clever in the long run, just insecure and a bit desperate. And it has got to be really bad karma being horrible about people who move on.

 

[Kharmine]

I've heard of possessive karate, ballet and even yoga teachers, too, so it's got to be a personality trait among those with uncertain egos or something.

Having students come and go is an inescapable part of the business. Commitment to the art does not mean one should be forever committed to a teacher.

 

[Safran]

I can only agree with what has been said at the previous posts. You are dancing for yourself, not for your teacher. If you feel you need to move on, do that. If you have a good relationship with your teacher - this does not have to stop. If she takes your leaving personlly though, then maybe there is no point in trying to maintain that relationship.

 

[catwoman]

Sorry for not getting back in touch earlier....things have been a bit hectic!!

Thank you for all your replies, you really are great and such a help

Its difficult because even though I do like the idea of the "uniqueness" of what is taught (and of course the others who attend), I feel that need to stretch myself. I see other styles and interpretations and think yes... I want a bit of that!!!!

Lets see if the grass is really greener on the other side of the fence:think:

I am already putting feelers out, but if any one can make a recomendation, I would be greatfull.

Did I say that you're all wonderful?