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  1. #1
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    Default Disgusting behavior cured by waiver?

    Disgusting behavior cured by waiver?
    Partial vent/ got to get this off my bedlah!

    I kind of don’t believe this! I am fighting cancer since April. I have a student base of more than 200. I teach beginning teachers that does not bother me. My long time students know me as a strict teacher and have names for me like panty police. While on the mend I sometimes would visit my troupe and one night one of the members said to me “you know your student X?” yes, “Did you know she was teaching?!” I said calmly yes, I guess she’s an aerobics instructor too, out in Springfield. Which would be 20 minutes away and one day a week as far as I knew. My student did not understand my calm. She explained that her and her husband witnessed Miss X at one of my events, X was hugging people and promoting herself. 2 girls said they we going to go to her class and intentionally make her feel uncomfortable. I honestly did not want that. THEN. So here is an email I sent to her:

    I am happy to teach new teachers. I want you to know that I think you are a delightful person. As your teacher I think it is important that I guide you in the right direction. I think it is important you know that this community has high standards for ethics and professionalism. Not everybody knows you as a teacher, you are very new to the area and when you were promoting yourself at the our event it made some people defensive of me. I believe there is enough of everything to keep the world spinning, enough students for teachers and teachers for students so I am not worried, but I would suggest researching ethics, codes of conduct and professionalism in belly dance on the net. Being a student and teacher it would not hurt to research copyright for choreography either. Please don t take this the wrong way. My teacher helped me through some beginner teacher errors when I started out in 91. I really just want everyone to get along.
    Sincerely,
    Flutter

    She replies:

    I first would like to say, I don't take offense at all, I am greatful that you care enough. But then let me also say, I was not promoting myself at the event. I was in converstion with Sheba, who is taking classes with teacher X while you are on leave, and I told her that I wanted to dance on Thursdays because thats when teacher X has her level II classes, but that I had alread committed to teaching on Thursdays during the summer, so I couldn't, but that she might be doing some Sunday classes I could take. She then asked where I taught and I answerd, but I was by no means trying to advertise myself, I was simply having a converstion with another dancer. And why someone would feel defensive of you, I am not quite sure. Like you said you have been teaching since 91, and are very established and have a name for yourself. I myself am very proud to be your student. And have no issues with being taugh right and wrong in all areas of this dance, but I didn't conduct myself improperly, people are just catching feelings, and I am sorry they were offended, but do not feel as though I acted outside of the standards of this dance community.
    I have researched on the net and read many books and will continue to do so as a part of my continuing education, and I also know that you should never use another dancers cheorography, unless you have permission and also give them credit, and I have and will always honor that! Thank you for your concern and I look forward to learning more from you in the future!
    Sincerly,
    X
    I catch her in a lie and it feels awful because I just wish everyone were as nice as I imagine them to be. I call my studios to let them know I am doing better and tie down dates for sure…

    So when you’re fighting cancer you least expect your one teacher student to swarm to your studios and try to take your studio hours and students! Thank God my MRIs are coming back clear and I am calling my studios and they are are like who is person X? Well we told her we were not interested but she is teaching up the street now so you might want to try picking an alternate day or time. In your waiver you might also ad that while attending your classes, students will not teach up to a 10 mile radius from where you are currently teaching. WILL THIS WORK? Or are mean people just mean?


    Sincerely sad,
    Flutter

  2. #2
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    Wink

    Am I being An upset emotional beeeeotch for no reason? Chemo can make you a little irritated from time to time.

  3. #3
    Premium Member Aniseteph's Avatar
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    Am I understanding this right, Flutter - she has been actually soliciting your studio to take over your slots and students while you've been seriously ill? I don't think you're being a chemo-influenced anything - that is truly despicable behaviour. And if that's the case her email is a piece of grade A avoiding-the-issue.

    Please don't let her upset you so much as to affect your treatment and your health, because no one is worth that. If she's done this she will get hers one day. I do think it's outrageous if you are expected to carry on teaching her while she's started teaching classes down the street though.

    And respect to the Panty Police - belly dance needs them!

    Hugs and for your full recovery
    A xxx

  4. #4
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    YES! Thank you!
    My monthly event was tonight and she tried to give me a hug. I was not having it. I coud tell she was nervouse and did not know wwhat to do. and she was trying extra hard to keep her two kids in line this evening. We will see if the 10 mile radiuse works. What do you think. Would you want someone like this in your class?

  5. #5
    Premium Member Aniseteph's Avatar
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    Crikey. Sounds like she knows she's on shaky ground already.

    Well I don't teach, but I wouldn't want her around. On a personal level she's kicked you when you were down, on a business one she's expecting you to continue supplying her with the key resource for her business (dance knowledge) while damaging yours. I think the 10 mile radius is an excellent idea.

    I'd want to have a private talk with her after double checking all the facts though, just to try to get things straight and in the open and hear her side of the story, especially if I'd have to deal with her in the local dance community. If she can't see the reason for the no local teaching bit in the waiver and accept it's fair and you aren't just picking on her...

    Her explanation for chasing your slots in your absence should be really interesting.

    We don't have this sort of 10 mile exclusion thing in the UK as far as I know - is it a standard thing where you are?

  6. #6
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    Heyas,

    Well first off, hope you get better soon.

    And if I understood right in the way Aniseteph did....Secondly, I think you have every right to vent. That's not only worming her way in, (since she didn't take the time out to discuss this with you first) but she was so insensitive to act like that anyways, whether it was dance related or not!

    I'd be angry too.

  7. #7
    V.I.P. slinks's Avatar
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    ^^^^ I second that .. "GET WELL SOON" nothing worse than being ill, let alone have some-one making things a little uncomfortable while being ill..

    I feel for you deeply, keep us updated on your health issues ..

  8. #8
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    Default So what to ad to my new improved waiver?

    ~Students wishing to teach belly dance must not only notify flutter but also promise to not teach within 10 miles of any studio she is operating in.
    or
    ~Students wishing to teach belly dance must not only notify flutter but also promise to not teach within 10 miles of any studio she is operating in not on the same day and time of the week.
    or....
    your input here....
    I am doing very well by the way thanks! just 2 more cycles of chemo to go!.

    Flutter

  9. #9
    V.I.P. Reen.Blom's Avatar
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    Just some hugs for flutter *hug* and please dont let anyone upset you! I really hope all will work out fine.

  10. #10
    V.I.P. da Sage's Avatar
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    If the woman was trying to get your job at your studio, that's extremely uncool.

    If she simply happens to be teaching near you, that's a little different.

    I would hesitate to take classes from someone who wants me to sign a waiver not to teach within 10 miles of her location. While I don't plan to teach anytime soon, an open-ended restriction on my actions would stick in my craw. I guess I'm just a control freak that way.

    You might lose more students than you keep, with such a waiver.

    ps I hope you recover completely. This is far less important than your health!
    Last edited by da Sage; 08-29-2007 at 02:26 AM.

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