From the linked story

[da Sage]

Rhea’s Travel to Syria …
Part 5 –Sex and the Single Girl

to read, go to:
http://gildedserpent.com/art36/rheasyriapart5.htm

Maybe I prefer one of them. That can be the only reason a woman alone rejects a man in the Middle East. She wants another, because if she didn’t want to be bothered by a man she wouldn’t go out alone. If she didn’t have her brother, father, husband, etc. with her, she takes a taxi.

In fact, if you are unaccompanied by a man in the Middle East (not in major hotels usually but don’t count on it) but are alone or with a group of women, you must know that whatever your stated purpose for visiting their country – tourism, shopping, business, a kidney transplant – you are there to find a man. Once you have found him, to ---- him, because you don’t need a man to protect you financially. That is obvious. You only want sex and, for some reason are unsatisfied with what you have found so far, or want a change. Otherwise you wouldn’t want be unaccompanied.

Because if you have a man, he will NEVER let you go out alone.

So ladies, is this more or less true? I would love to travel and learn more about the Middle East in person, but I have reservations about doing so. Please tell me about your experiences in the Middle East.

 

[Maria_Aya]

You know what we say in Greece?
Rhea is an Idea !!!!
She is so great as personality and you always fall down the chair laughing when you are with her, even when she say the most serious things.
She was a hippy girl that ended to be one of the most traveled hippies and finaly got hooked with oriental dance. Was best friend with Joan Baez
The woman is a living legend and have lived a full life.

So about the specific thing about single women in arab world.
How it worked for me:
Cairo, walking alone in the road? Well seems that males have a 5 metre territory where they hit women there, the min you pass their space the next one starts hitting on you.
To me they started with arabic cause always thought i was arabic lol
So 1st question in english:
Are you married? (nowwwww can you believe this? not the name, not the country etc?) but are you married?????
2nd question, after replying yes, i'm married: where is your husband? why he left his wife alone? can i come with you? can i pay you for coming with you (if he is rich)? can you pay me for coming with you (if he is poor)?
It becomes so boring and repeating that after the 20th time, you just get so rude and not speak to anyone.
Exactly the same thing at places where you go and buy costumes or whatever, from fruits to pepsi (coca cola doesnt exist in Egypt).
But on the other hand, me personaly never felt threatened or scared, even at night time.
So just get over it, be your selves, after all we are there because of our passion that we follow it.
Same time be very carefull, dont follow anyone etc (i mean the logic things we do in the western way also)

Maria Aya

p.s. Dont say you are involved with oriental dance
Also say that you are there with your husband for a business trip and he is working right now (this doesnt work night times lol)
Dont got nakish out, dont wear a hijab but a more full dress type always is better to avoid these things.

 

[Lydia]

from the linked story

oeps,that is a big one alway,s comes back i geuss....about woman in the middle east...i dont know what is right or wrong in this but i can tell you how i go about it to stay out of trouble...Please remember i am a foreigner not a arab i live sindts 1974 in the middle east...i most say that from country to country it differants a bit ,but mostly it is ok IF and that is a big IF...you can adopt the habbits and blend in and go by the rules and and try to understand the traditions and believes of the local people....i give you some example,s about my do and donts...I dont go out short sleeves ore mini skirt or body hugging clothes....I Dont go to a open beach(just to hotel beaches)I Dont go to crowded places alone ,like markets enz. I dont socialize after or before the show ,i go and come from the backdoor of the hotel to my function so there is no change to talk to anybody that see me dancing.or know,s me..I dont talk about religion or politics to anybody,I dont talk to people in the street,beside extreme cases.I dont go out at night at all not even with people that i know,not even to a pub or other outlet in the hotels where i work and this hotels are 5 star hotels,.....It comes down to this i go to my dancefloor and back home...show always finish before midnight so i am not in the street later than that..daytime i go and teach...no minimini as they call it here out of the house, even shoppingmalls woman dont go alone if they want to be respected go with your brother husband father....again if you want to be respected ,if you dont care ok than do as you like...to be honest ...i never been realy harrased in this country,s i think its ok here ...but i know and most inportand i try to live by the rules and try to understand how and why people overhere think as they think .....b.d.w. nobody realy knows me...i am just ,,the teacher from upstairs.. no friends beside my students and ofcourse my audiance that come,s to see the show....if people realy know who i am a,, dancer,, let alone bellydancer oooo than is was a whole differant story...But for me it has been great no regrets sometime,s a bit lonely but hee who cares i got my dancefloor that is all that matters to me...i wish you happy dancing ,Lydia

 

[Demelza]

Hello ladies,
I like what you are saying, it all makes sense. And I know lots and lots of women who take a similar response to life in the middle east and avoid what they can. I however am a little different. I tend to take a different approach to these guys. Maybe the fact that I speak Arabic has something to do with it, and the fact that I have always felt confident no matter what situation I am in. I always dress very modestly – eg long skirts, trousers, and long sleeved tops etc. (I even swim in trousers and t-shirt!) ….however, I don’t mind walking through markets alone, taking taxis alone, if I am coming back from somewhere, or going somewhere late in the night I am not afraid…..I am confident. If one of these guys tries to chat me up in any way what so-ever, the situation is like this……
If I am in a busy market area and some ‘slime’ tries to lure me into his shop with remarks like….”ooohhh so beautiful”..”please I wanna speak with you just one minute” “hey English” etc etc or if I am walking down the street and some “sleeze” in a coffee shop wispers “ooowwaaa” or “pppsssssss” or “hello, hello, can I buy for you one drink”…..then I just blank them and stroll on past as if I am deaf.
However, if for example I am in a taxi and the driver starts a conversation (which always starts of politely) I am always willing to respond politely, join in a conversation with him and should it in anyway go beyond what I consider polite small talk, I drag his conscience from the bottom of his gut to his mouth, and leave him feeling embarrassed with himself. For example……. This is only one of the many stories I could tell you my many many trips to Egypt……..actually this was only last week. . .

ABOUT 2 MINUTES INTO THE JORNEY….
Taxi Driver: Excuse me where are you from?
Me: I am from England
Taxi Driver: ooh but you speak Arabic very well! Are your’e parents from Egypt?
Me: no. I am 100% English ……..Il hamdullah.
Taxi Driver: I am from Shobra
Me: Oh Shobra’s nice, I’ve been there.
Taxi Driver: are you here on holiday?
Me: No, I’m working
Taxi Driver: You are very beautifull
Me: Thankyou
Taxi Driver: Your eyes are beautifull
Me: Thankyou
Taxi Driver: What time do you want me to pick you up?
Me: Thankyou I already have a car to go home
Taxi Driver: But I would like to take you for a drink
Me: No thankyou.
Taxi Driver: oh just to chat, joke, drink something….
Me: No thankyou
Taxi Driver: ok we are here now. . . you know in Egypt we have a tradition, if you like a woman’s eyes you must kiss her
Me: Here is your money. There is no such tradition. You have just met me 3 minutes ago, you don’t know me, you are a taxi driver and you want to kiss me. What kind of man are you? And you have the Koran infront of your steering wheel. Does this mean you are a Muslim?
Taxi Driver: I am sorry
Me: Yes, of course you are sorry, you should be sorry. This is not good what you are doing. You make the Egyptians look bad
Taxi Driver: I am so sorry, please don’t be angry with me
Me: I am not angry. But please don’t speak in this way again. Don’t be narrow minded and think that all western girls are like those in the American Movies.
Taxi Driver: I am sorry, please have your money back.
Me: No, it’s ok keep your money but think before you speak in future. Goodbye
Taxi Driver: Goodbye.

Therefore, what I would say to any girl travelling alone is this…..as long as you are in a safe situation (eg there are other people around, you are in a well lit area etc – in my situation I waited for the taxi to stop and my door to be open before I laid into him!) be strong. Don’t always act dumb. Try to take them on in their own game and show that you are just as strong, if not stronger than them. Embarrass them if you must. Show them that you are put off by the fact that they were not decent. And they will leave thinking that actually you are something completely different to what they first expected. They will be shocked and ashamed of themselves !! Iwoman power !! I’ve done it a thousand times. xx

 

[Recnadocir]

This is all pretty funny. But I will tell you ladies, you travel in the ME all you want. If one of those swarthy self imagined world's greatest lover types bothers you, you just tell him:
1. You are friends with Rico Dancer (or Recnadocir, either one will work)
2. If he doesn't shut up, you will
3. Tell Ricodancer/Recnadocir, who will
4. Come over there and beat him up, then make love to his sisters, then beat him up again

 

[Yasmine Bint Al Nubia]

You are a trip and a half Rico! I like the way you handled yourself Demelza, sounds like you are a an intelligent and savvy woman.Not many dancers tell the other side of Middle Eastern travels (see Maria's post "Bellydancing from Hell"). We love the dance so much, that we fail to understand not everyone will feel the way we do, esp. in Arabic countries, where they expect us to loose, immoral women.
Yasmine

 

[da Sage]

Therefore, what I would say to any girl travelling alone is this…..as long as you are in a safe situation (eg there are other people around, you are in a well lit area etc – in my situation I waited for the taxi to stop and my door to be open before I laid into him!) be strong. Don’t always act dumb. Try to take them on in their own game and show that you are just as strong, if not stronger than them. Embarrass them if you must. Show them that you are put off by the fact that they were not decent. And they will leave thinking that actually you are something completely different to what they first expected. They will be shocked and ashamed of themselves !! Iwoman power !! I’ve done it a thousand times. xx

This is such a cool story! I agree, being safe is #1, but "calling" people on their rude statements would be very satisfying, and hopefully change their behavior for a while.

And I am very impressed with everyone that that speaks Arabic.
I think it's very hard to speak and understand a foreign language, especially one with different roots than your own.

 

[Demelza]

Thankyou x I really wish I could read and write it to but can't do either!! I can speak fluently from living there. and I just luuvvv arabic. It is an agressive language but somehow very sexy at the same time. I don't speak classical arabic just the normal street language that people speak on a day to day basis. What happened was I went to Isreal on a kibutz when I was 17, and got kicked off (another story another time!) and hitchhiked from the north of Isreal to the south (another story another time!) and landed in Egypt. I was only suposed to stay there for 3 days but stayed 8 years !! Crazy I know. But I learnt so much. I think that Egypt as a country is the biggest and best school to attend if you ever get the chance. plus its FULL of what we all here love most !! XXXXX D

 

[Lydia]

from the linked story

Hi Demelza,nice story you sound like you have lots of fun when you are traveling...I do speak arabic fluently ,but if i speak arabic outside i get less respect because arabic lady,s are not supposed to be out alone special in the evening.so if i speak english its usely ok that i am on my own and people look at it differant,...even when the police for example will stop me at night driving the car( what is very common in our days for all kind of reasons) and i role down my window and they ask for my drivinglicence in arabic ,it do,s not sound vriendly believe me,but i answer in english excuus me i dont speak arabic ,strait away his tone of voice changes and he become,s very polite asking for my papers and tanking me and wishing me a nice evening! so that is the differance so for me it works wonders that i dont speak arabic when i go out ......beside that it,s great fun when people think you dont understand what they are saying,you can have plenty of fun with that,....when i get upset i will give them a piece of my mind in arabic,than you must see the faces!! have a great weekend Lydia

 

[Demelza]

Lydia,
I know what you mean. Where are you - Dubai ? I think that Egypt is maybe a bit different from Dubai. Obviously when you show the police that you are European eg English, they give you a whole lot more respect, but in Egypt they love it even more if you are Not Egyptian but speak Arabic !! i have got out of plenty of scrapes by making the police smile !! Where are you from Lydia?
Demelza xx

 

[Demelza]

does any one have any stories from travel ? I love to listen to them too xxx

 

[Lydia]

from the linked story

Hi Demelza,yes i know Egypt is differant i have a home there to!lol....and Dubai is not the same that is for sure,but i love both places the same ...I dont work in Egypt i did when i just started,but unlike other dancers i did not like to work there so i moved to Dubai at the same time when Dina came to Dubai and liza lazizza and yasmina from cairo.... (the british yasmina),so we hade a nice team here,But all 3 went back to Cairo ,but i stayd here and i still am ....and liza ,dina and yasmina are very happy and doing well there,and of course dina became a big star ......I was born in Europe i am from a rom family they are stil traveling......I have been in the middle east sindts my teens what about you?? dont tell me we are famili???? lol ...have a great day and happy dancing Lydia

 

[Demelza]

aahh, so you are romany gypsy ? Please tell me more !... I love those people..... I am english through and through. I grew up on a big farm in the Vale of Belvoir in Nottinghamshire. We had a 3 mile track that went through some of the land and it was known as the 'green lane' cos it was just like pastures. And lots of Romany Gypsies used to come on there with their Romany caravans and their shetland horses !

 

[Demelza]

......when I was really little, me and my brother and sisters used to skip down there on a hot summers day, we used to stop and drink lemonade with the romanies and look up in awe at their beautifully decorated homes.....and they were sooooo good with us...

 

[Lydia]

from the linked story

Demelza now i am jalouse!! a farm i love ofcourse the outdoors ,and annimals are surely my first love after dancing....yes Romany people i think are kind if you have them as a friend!! lol...but thank you for saying that,mostly people misunderstand the roms.....what is a pitty...story,s ooooooooooooo i have plenty!!! perhaps one day i find a ghostwriter for my book that is laying half finished on the shelf for some time now.....but i will let you if its done haha....take care Lydia

 

[Demelza]

i know some people give the romanies a hard time round here too. All the other farmers used to say they were theives etc. But my dad (who died 4 years ago) used to be such a kind and friendly man to EVERYONE and he got the respect back that he gave out. . I like the fact that they travel. When I was young I use to dream of running away with the fun fair just so that I could travel! . I love bedouins for the same reason. Maybe I was a traveller in my past life ?? ha ha...
A half written book heh ? sounds great. I would love to write a book about my life but wouldn't know where to start. I would have to get someone else to do it for me. It'd be soo long too ! with great chapter headings like 'the day I was held at gun point' or 'time in the egyptian jail cell' or 'the day I climbed the pyramid' or 'living in a bomb shelter' or 'the day the bandits attacked us' or 'the day i fell in love with an arab' !! etc etc.
how old are you Lydia if you don't mind me asking you ? xx

 

[Shanazel]

My mother used to tell me stories about how the rom (they called them gypsies in that place and time) used to camp in the woods between Hope and Columbus, Arkansas back in the thirties, complete with wagons, horses, and women in long full skirts. The ones that decided to settle ended up mostly in a little town called Faulks, Arkansas, and live there today.

Any of my travel stories would be pretty boring compared to what I read here. I've never been anywhere out of the USA except Canada and Mexico, never spent a night in an Egyptian jail, never was held at gun point. I did fall off a 20 foot wall in a cave one time...

I plan to take my daughter to Ireland in the spring of 2007, though. My son decided he'd rather go hunting in Alaska with his dad. Do you suppose the Republic has many belly dancing venues?

 

[Rebecca_]

So I'd really love to travel to Egypt too, but honestly, some of these stories scare me. My question to travelers: Does it make a difference whether you are American or not?

 

[Moon]

My travel stories are also boring compared to those I read here, although I guess I rather have a more "boring" trip than ending up in an Egyptian jail

I've been in Egypt for only 1 day when I was 10 years old (short, yeah, but now I've a good reason to come back ). The most "scary" thing that happened was a strange Egyptian guy puting me on an angry camel (I was sooo scared of the animal! I had to cry) and he took a picture of me. Later on it appeared that the guy was taking pictures with tourist illegally. A policeman went after him with a whip and the guy had to climb on a rock to escape.
The picture was very nice though, I somehow managed to smile

 

[Demelza]

Shanazel - Ireland is gorgeous. Some of my family live in the south on the coast in County Cork. They live right near the sea and watch wales from their Kitchen window !! I'm sure you'll have a wonderfull time !

Rebecca - I wouldn't worry about people knowing you are american. I know there is a bad feeling amongst the arabs with regards to the american government and their policies etc but I've never known anyone to direct their anger at any individual. They do not take it personally and I think they all feel that it's the government and not the american people themselves. So don't let it concern you too much. And if you still feel a little insecure about it tell people on your travels that you are Canadian!!

Moon - I like your story about the camel !! i got on a wild one once xx