Call in the belly dance police...

[Suheir]

I think we should start a street gang instead. THE BELLY BUNCH! We can do glide bys and beat up offenders for wearing our colors, (all of them). That way, we don't have to be legal or politically correct. We can get straight to the point and slap some sense into them and run them out of town if they don't mend their ways. Law enforcement has too much paper work! We'd have to report what they were wearing, where the offense took place etc, etc. We could bypass all of that. Just ding them in the heads with ninja zills and zaghareet torture.

HAHAHAHA! This just reminded me of the Sour Grapes Bunch on The Banana Splits Show - only with belly dancers instead of little go-go dancers! :lol:

 

[Tarik Sultan]

Dude. You are seriously my kind of guy. WHEN are you coming to the Southwest??? If you are EVER thinking of coming to visit Sedona, Phoenix, Flagstaff, or Prescott, let me know. You can stay in our spare room if you want!!! Only if you let me go with you on a glide by, of course....I get enough drive by's in our ED so being the culprit on a glide by sounds like a great diversion!

IT'S A DEAL! First target, UNDERCUTTERS! Followed by 3 week wonders who go on to teach and perform! We can extort mandatory dance lessons from them with qualified and reputable professionals! "Samiha hasn't seen you in class this week. You need your lessons to make sure you have the strength to achieve proper posture and alignment, not to mention agility and coordination. It would be a shame if you had an accident at your next gig and couldn't dance for months."

 

[Tarik Sultan]

Dear Tarik,


Honey....... what makes you think police departments are politically correct or legal????????? this way we can do all the street gang stuff and get TOTALLY away with it, cause "THE LAW" is on our side.
Regards,
A'isha
Head of the BPA

You have a point.....but you still have to do all the paper work. Couldn't you just say you're looking into it when the victims call 911. Or take your sweet time getting to the crime scene? We could even get you costume coordinated sequined and beaded ski masks so no one would know you're also chief of police...just a thought.

 

[Aisha Azar]

Bdpd

You have a point.....but you still have to do all the paper work. Couldn't you just say you're looking into it when the victims call 911. Or take your sweet time getting to the crime scene? We could even get you costume coordinated sequined and beaded ski masks so no one would know you're also chief of police...just a thought.

Dear Tarik,
But paperwork is what keeps us off the streets, eating Krispy Kremes, drinking loads of coffee,looking for porn sites to "shut down" on our work computers, telling tall tales about when we busted the famous belly dancer "Delicia", for letting people eat honeydew melon slices off of her delectable, unclad buns, talking about how we think the new sequined tassles for our uniforms are just TOO TOO FAB,etc. Calling 911 is the thing that really torques our pelvises, so if you got trouble, we prefer you handle it yourself and then call in and tell us how it went. THEN we'll pat ourselves on the back for talking you through it. Whatever you do, don't make us put our dancin' shoes on and come over there!
Hogs and quiches,
A'isha Azar,
Head of BPA

 

[Tarik Sultan]

Dear Tarik,
But paperwork is what keeps us off the streets, eating Krispy Kremes, drinking loads of coffee,looking for porn sites to "shut down" on our work computers, telling tall tales about when we busted the famous belly dancer "Delicia", for letting people eat honeydew melon slices off of her delectable, unclad buns, talking about how we think the new sequined tassles for our uniforms are just TOO TOO FAB,etc. Calling 911 is the thing that really torques our pelvises, so if you got trouble, we prefer you handle it yourself and then call in and tell us how it went. THEN we'll pat ourselves on the back for talking you through it. Whatever you do, don't make us put our dancin' shoes on and come over there!
Hogs and quiches,
A'isha Azar,
Head of BPA

I C! Sounds like a plan. Okay gang, let's go get 'em!

 

[eshta amar]

Can we not use the word "premier"? There is someone in my town who calls her belly dance show "the premier" blah blah blah. That is implying that you are the bomb, the #1, the bees knees. Kinda arrogant and egotistical dontcha think? It is especially embarassing when we find out that you are in fact not "the premier" but just ok or even a little sucky. There are enough divas in this dance - can't we just relax!?

 

[eshta amar]

Traffic Cop Please!!!!

oh oh oh! Can I be the traffic cop of the BDP? That way I can go around and rough everybody up and smack them with large fines for all kinds of indiscretions! The poor belly dancers will be like " but officer..... I thought it was ok to glue fringe on a victoria's secret bra and dance in front of IKEA for no money!" And I'll be like " I don't make the rules ma'm I just enforce 'em!"
p.s. they actually dance in front of the IKEA in my town - I think once a month. Some sort of tribal show. My student said she almost crashed her car as she drove by she was so suprised! I haven't been to see this but it gives me the shivers!

 

[Brea]

...

 

[Aniseteph]

Can we not use the word "premier"? There is someone in my town who calls her belly dance show "the premier" blah blah blah. That is implying that you are the bomb, the #1, the bees knees. Kinda arrogant and egotistical dontcha think? It is especially embarassing when we find out that you are in fact not "the premier" but just ok or even a little sucky. There are enough divas in this dance - can't we just relax!?

Exactly my point (waaay back at the start before we all started getting the police/vigilante sides of our personalities an airing :lol::redface. It's inviting trouble on lots of levels IMO.

 

[eshta amar]

how about - (insert name here) from (insert name of town here).
Or...
Presenting the very popular (insert name here).
Even the most famous and best dancers avoid saying things like premier cause guess what? they don't have to! because they are so good the art speaks for itself.

I'd still like to find out if I could be the belly dance traffic cop - I am itching to give some tickets! lol

 

[Aisha Azar]

BD traffuc cop

how about - (insert name here) from (insert name of town here).
Or...
Presenting the very popular (insert name here).
Even the most famous and best dancers avoid saying things like premier cause guess what? they don't have to! because they are so good the art speaks for itself.

I'd still like to find out if I could be the belly dance traffic cop - I am itching to give some tickets! lol

Dear Eshta,
As head of the BPA, I hereby award you the rank of Official BDPD Traffick Kop, and sanction you to give out overpriced tickets, bejeweled with plastic rhinestones. Make sure they have all of the pertinent info on them such as time, date, which event the perp was attending, etc. We will make a killing on this and be able to afford to hire our Official Uniform Designer to whip up something extra frabjous for our next BD SWAT Team excursion into the underbelly world.
Regards,
A'isha Azar in her official capacity as Head of BPA. ( I LOVE this job!!!!!!!!!)

 

[Shanazel]

And of course as a belly dance traffic cop, Eshta will need super dooper batons with which to direct traffic. Maybe bejeweled swords would make an effective statement?

 

[lizaj]

And of course as a belly dance traffic cop, Eshta will need super dooper batons with which to direct traffic. Maybe bejeweled swords would make an effective statement?

They will in the UK...we'll all be lawbreakers ourselves...

 

[Mya]

you all need help....i love you dearly...but you need serious help. possibly Tarik and A'isha more than all.

 

[Shamsa]

why? they are serious lawbreakers out there!

 

[Aisha Azar]

Bdpd

you all need help....i love you dearly...but you need serious help. possibly Tarik and A'isha more than all.

Dear Mya,
A head of the BPA, I will have to call Eshta and ask her to give you a ticket for thinking such things!!!
Much love,
A'isha

 

[Shanazel]

They will in the UK...we'll all be lawbreakers ourselves...

A few years ago, some guy up in Gillette, Wyoming stole a bulldozer and went on a rampage, bulldozing cars and street lights and whatever else got in his way. Not long after that, I saw a bumpersticker that said, "When bulldozers are outlawed, only outlaws will have bulldozers."

 

[KuteNurse]

I am rolling on the floor laughing at everyone's posts here...You guys are hysterical! lol

Have we send any belly dance police out on missions yet or is it still in the planning stages. I know an event coming up where belly dance police would be needed.

 

[eshta amar]

As official belly dance police traffic cop I will be happy to carry bejeweled swords or canes. I look forward to giving out all kinds of tickets for offences with appropriate $$ fines such as:
undecorated bra straps $200 fine (fix it ticket)
underwear showing $500 fine (fix it ticket)
shoulder shimmies directly in front of guy's faces $1500 ($2000 if they actually touch their faces/heads with the fringe or costume)
costumes that don't fit $100 fine (fix it ticket)
overtly sexual moves during performances $1000 fine
just plain ugly costumes $200 (it is subjective - this is a fix-it ticket)
dancers who don't wear coverups $850 fine
Bending over to pick up your own tips $600 fine
Hopefully we will generate enough income with these grossly inflated tickets to buy some awesome uniforms!
oooh the power! the power!!!

 

[Shanazel]

Why, Eshta, those fines aren't inflated- if anything, they are extremely lenient. Perhaps we should create some form of community service or incarceration for serious offenses:

Anything that could be construed as a lap dance: two weeks in the BOB slammer.

Suggestively stroking any body part that is not for sale: ten days in the BOB slammer

Suggestively stroking any body part that is for sale: permanent exile to a land with no sequins, no silk, no beads, no veils, no canes, no swords, no middle eastern music

Belly dancing to heavy metal, Beethoven, or elevator music: ten days incarceration in a room where the Barney theme is played twenty hours a day. The other four hours will be devoted to multiple choruses of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall."