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  1. #11
    V.I.P. lizaj's Avatar
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    Having said that if you are happy in your skin, all power to you and rest assured that most belly dancers are accepting of the wondrous variety we human beings are.


    Please note I MEAN that...don't think ill of me for mentioning alternatives.

    I couldn't give a sh$t if a larger gal turns up at my class and says "I'm fit and healthy and am staying this way"
    No one but no one in my class will get away with being nasty and anyway I can assure none of MY class would..they are good hearted ladies and wouldn't "turn a hair!"
    Last edited by lizaj; 07-21-2008 at 06:22 PM.

  2. #12
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    Last edited by Brea; 05-15-2009 at 09:13 PM.

  3. #13
    V.I.P. khanjar's Avatar
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    I suppose with all this that is going on in the western world about larger people, both the UK and America linking large people to ill health, you are feeling some of the backlash from this incorrect idea.

    Fair enough some are unhealthy, but I know others who are large, and can run rings around me and I am what some might call under weight. Size therefore has is not always an indication of poor health

    Personally, If I were large, and sometimes wish I was a bit weightier than what I am, I would set out to prove the others wrong and be the best I can be.

    My first class, there was a lady there, taller than me, so above six feet, and very large. The class had been rehearsing for a performance they were doing, and can you imagine my surprise when hip locks were performed, I can tell you, this larger lady stunned me with her ability, because of her larger size, the drill was more pronounced, it looked more effective than the scrawny dancers there. I was very impressed and re educated.

  4. #14
    V.I.P. lizaj's Avatar
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    I have larger ladies in my class and why I mentioned losing weight is because they inevitably ask me if they will by belly dancing.
    You all know the answer to that.
    Is it a normal thing in the USA in belly dance classes that people are made to feel unwelcome because they don't fit into a stereotype of slim. It certainly isn't here. health is the only concern. I have had a friend have an anorexic girl in her class and she had to have a carer with her and under those circumstances she was never any thing other than welcome as the idea was to make her mix and get back to integrating.
    It's sick bunch of people who consider others not worthy to join them.

    And if the digs about being big and healthy are aimed at me and my post then read my post fully and see I said it first!

  5. #15
    V.I.P. da Sage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizaj View Post
    Read on
    ......I also said if she was happy in her skin, good luck to her. I have friends who have had medical people tell them they are overweight and they are healthier than me!
    But sometimes the solution is right in front of us and all we need is the right "push"...I've just been through that myself...an event came up, measurements added to asthma and slightly high BP and I thought yup get on the stir fries and fruit.
    I copied your second paragraph about 'happy in her skin' to show that I had read it. Do you seriously think the "solution" of losing weight had not occurred to her? Or that you are the one who will provide the "right push"?

    I appreciate that you are very happy about your recent weight loss. I am happy when I lose weight too, as long as it is fat and not muscle. It doesn't matter if someone is fat or skinny, healthy or unhealthy...they still deserve to be treated as PEOPLE, and not just a body/stereotype.

    The OP didn't come here for weightloss advice. For someone in her condition, being given unsolicited weightloss advice is oppressive.

    I know you're a good person with good intentions, lizaj, but I think you got carried away *in that one paragraph of your post. The rest of your post was great, as usual.

    I haven't seen comments about fat people in class, but I have heard comments about skinny people. Which is hurtful, too.
    Last edited by da Sage; 07-22-2008 at 04:04 AM. Reason: added the stuff after the *, for clarity

  6. #16
    Senior Member Gia al Qamar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizaj View Post
    Is it a normal thing in the USA in belly dance classes that people are made to feel unwelcome because they don't fit into a stereotype of slim.
    You are absolutely 100%, dyed in the wool WRONG.
    That is completely and utterly untrue and of the 50 or so dance classes AND their teachers that I can think of JUST off the top of my head, every size, shape, age, race, political and social affiliation is WELCOMED, embraced, supported, educated and celebrated.
    No one would accuse me of being 'slim'.
    My students are every kind of woman...
    Maybe a bit of thought BEFORE typing is due Lizaj.
    A note to the original poster...
    I'm so sorry that you've endured this kind of negativity in class. It SOoooooo isn't you...this is completely about the inadequecy of the teacher and the damaged egos of the students who would treat you badly. No reputable teacher would allow this kind of behavior in class.
    Gia
    Last edited by Gia al Qamar; 07-22-2008 at 02:15 PM. Reason: and another thing...

  7. #17
    Moderator Shanazel's Avatar
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    No reputable teacher would allow this kind of behavior in class.
    Yeah. What Gia said. I took a class with a person who repeatedly made weight-related remarks about other people (this person was a former fat person and apparently needed to reinforce her newfound feelings of superior thinness). One of the other students finally shut her down by turning to her and saying coolly, "What a mean spirited thing to say," then walking away to continue class in another part of the room, as if the atmosphere around the first person was simply too dismal to breath.

    A lot of things go into making a dancer, and body size is not the most important.

  8. #18
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    Last edited by Brea; 05-15-2009 at 09:12 PM.

  9. #19
    V.I.P. lizaj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brea View Post
    Not to stir a hornet's nest here but I think lizaj's comment was actually a question (she was asking if it was normal). My answer is, it depends. I HAVE been to classes where yes, people talked about weight.

    My classes are not that way. You all know the investment I have in equalism, and that is for everyone all the time. However, that doesn't mean it's true everywhere. The US comes in many flavors and not all of them are the same.
    As it had appeared to happened once I was indeed asking if it was expected to happen elsewhere (sorry I ommitted punctuation so no wonder someone picked up on it...my fault I was misconstrued). Women here are often advised by doctors and health centres that dance is a good way for the less than fit and belly dance classes and troupes tend to contain all body shapes. This is why I think we may sometimes we are looked down on because we don't try to match up our dancers in a "professional" way.
    My question should be viewed in the context of an article I once read answering the question of a belly dance student about to move to Paris, that she may find herself less than welcome in some studios if she were less ( or rather more) than the perceived perfection. However it's probably not so for all classes!

  10. #20
    V.I.P. lizaj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gia al Qamar View Post
    You are absolutely 100%, dyed in the wool WRONG.
    That is completely and utterly untrue and of the 50 or so dance classes AND their teachers that I can think of JUST off the top of my head, every size, shape, age, race, political and social affiliation is WELCOMED, embraced, supported, educated and celebrated.
    No one would accuse me of being 'slim'.
    My students are every kind of woman...
    Maybe a bit of thought BEFORE typing is due Lizaj.
    A note to the original poster...
    I'm so sorry that you've endured this kind of negativity in class. It SOoooooo isn't you...this is completely about the inadequecy of the teacher and the damaged egos of the students who would treat you badly. No reputable teacher would allow this kind of behavior in class.
    Gia

    I left out the ? so I don't blame you for not catching the question ...my fault there and you are quite rightly irate. However from the original post it is obvious that at least one student was made to feel awkward.

    neither am I slim...a UK size 14 (only recently) before 16..not far off 18!
    belly dance classes here are well known for being accepting and I was very surprised to read of this not being so in the uSA because you have been world leaders in equal ops.

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