The Irony of it all

[Aisha Azar]

Males, etc,

It is obvious to me, that whatever I write, you will find a fault with, as though it is whatever I think or do can never be right in your view. Yes, I am new to Belly Dance, but I am not new to life, and have done some things in my past life I am not proud of,armed forces springs to mind, but has lead me to here, the point where I wish to exercise leniency to all others and to understand, or at least try to. My past has enabled me to be what I am now, which I believe is a wholly better person, my apprenticeship is done, now I am to explore what it is to be me in this world we have before us. Belly dance I will learn and practice, it is me to do so.

And its obvious to me that you have closed your mind to whatever I say that might not be of the same thinking as yourself. You ARE very new to belly dance and perhaps like so many others, you choose to bend the dance to your will rather than letting it be what it is. The dance might live within you, but it also is something in its own right, that has nothing at all to do with your or me. We all have done things we are not proud of and you are not different. This has nothing whatsoever to do with belly dance. I would say look to the dance and try to see the ways in which you can honor it, instead of looking only at the ways in which it can serve you. When you can do that, THEN you are a dancer. Belly dance is not about the spirit or soul of Khanjar only, but the spirit and soul of a people. A culture, after all, is supposed to be represented in this dance, not just you alone.
In Dance,
A'isha

 

[AngelaJP]

Respite. Have a laugh, sisters and brothers! :lol:

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on
a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted
to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws'..

WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, cheque or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished
to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a
television set in her purse.

'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me and
I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day.... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid
and so beautiful all at the same time.

"The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to
you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning.

The wife said, 'You should do it, because you get up first, and then we
don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.'

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee.'

Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee.'

Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ ..'HE BREWS' (My gosh, so cornyyyyyyy!:lol
===================================================

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece

 

[AngelaJP]

Mark Balahadia

Dear Angela,
I thought you might like to know that Mark Balahadia is Philipino, and a wonderful dancer. He is one of my favorite people as well as being a good teacher and a good dancer in several styles. He looks VERY Asian, and don't even ask because I get his hair when he dies!!! Regards, A'isha

Hahaha Aisha! :lol: He has soooo beautiful hair, muuuuch much more beautiful than mine. Mine's a mess now. You beat me to having his hair when he dies :lol:

Thanks for the info, Aisha. Incidentally, I watched him just a couple of days ago in You Tube when I learned he was a Filipino. Very impressive! Sooo proud of you, Mark! :clap: Hope you could perform in the Philippines one of these days!

One of the great instructors and bellydance school owners in the UK, Maylynn, our sister here, is also half Filipino.

Angela

 

[cathy]

same issues, different cast of commenters

For those interested in another set of perspectives on the "men in BD" issue it comes up on this thread on Bhuz:

BELLYDANCE CENTRAL - Everything Belly Dance! Welcome to BHUZ - Biggest Online BellyDance Community

Zumarrad comments: "I think feminists *could* argue that BD is going to change significantly for us now that The Boys are back in town. . . . . But the cosy space for girly self-expression that BD became in the 20th century (especially for non-ME women) is now ruptured. I do sometimes worry about what *might* happen if BD becomes heavily populated by men. Will they start dictating the terms? Does it matter if they do? Do we still need single-sex spaces?"

Cathy

 

[Farasha Hanem]

*raises hand meekly*

Can't we all just dance and get along?

 

[Aisha Azar]

Dance etc.

*raises hand meekly*

Can't we all just dance and get along?

Dear Farasha,
No, we can not. Unfortunately we are dealing with human beings here and not angels. If memory serves, even they have times when they are not so well behaved!! We can agree, however, to discuss without getting down on each other's characters and try to stick to the issues. i have recently been pushed outside these parameters. In fact, I have resigned my post as moderator in hopes of being more free to be immoderate when I feel the need. However, I hope soon to have this out of my system and return to my former state of not feeling the need to be so childish as all that when people respond with character assassination instead of sticking to the issues. I am reminded these days of how the presidential candidates act, when we all get out of line with snide insinuations and insidious remarks..... and lately I have been just as guilty as the next guy.
Regards,
A'isha

 

[masrawy]

Congratulation !!

Dear A'isha,
Hey just noticed the change now you mention it ... Congratulation !!:yay: now you are free
What do you have to do to be VIP ?!

 

[Aisha Azar]

Vip

Dear A'isha,
Hey just noticed the change now you mention it ... Congratulation !!:yay: now you are free
What do you have to do to be VIP ?!

Dear Mahmoud,
WHAT???? You call yourself an Egyptian and you don't know the answer to how to become a VIP???? Did you not ever hear about Wasta and Baksheesh???? These are the only two known methods to become a VIP of any kind.
Regards,
Your Fellow Average Citizen,
A'isha

 

[Farasha Hanem]

Dear Farasha,
No, we can not. Unfortunately we are dealing with human beings here and not angels. If memory serves, even they have times when they are not so well behaved!! We can agree, however, to discuss without getting down on each other's characters and try to stick to the issues.

I think perhaps that's why I have such a hard time with conflict or confrontation of any kind. Too many times I've seen debates deteriorate into exactly what you describe. Instead of staying focused on the issue at hand, one or both sides end up throwing barbs at each other. I'm very sorry this has happened here. It shouldn't. If anything, we should be here to encourage each other and help work out solutions to the problems we run into when it comes to things such as performing and the wrong attitudes we may encounter.

I've only begun my journey, and there is so much that I don't know. I came here in hopes to learn something and gain some insight and understanding. But I suppose if we are to help others outside the bellydance community have a better understanding of what we're all about, then we need first to start with ourselves and our own attitudes and thinking.

I hope we can all work things out.

 

[Aisha Azar]

Dance, etc.

I think perhaps that's why I have such a hard time with conflict or confrontation of any kind. Too many times I've seen debates deteriorate into exactly what you describe. Instead of staying focused on the issue at hand, one or both sides end up throwing barbs at each other. I'm very sorry this has happened here. It shouldn't. If anything, we should be here to encourage each other and help work out solutions to the problems we run into when it comes to things such as performing and the wrong attitudes we may encounter.

I've only begun my journey, and there is so much that I don't know. I came here in hopes to learn something and gain some insight and understanding. But I suppose if we are to help others outside the bellydance community have a better understanding of what we're all about, then we need first to start with ourselves and our own attitudes and thinking.

I hope we can all work things out.

Dear Farasha,
Well, at least your heart is in the right place. I only hope you can stand up to the realities of the world of belly dance. I manage by remembering one thing. The people involved in the dance and the dance itself are not the same thing. That way, whether my interactions with other dancers are positive or negative, they do not really affect my relationship with the dance itself and I can build friendships with the ones I like and in the long run know that the ones I do not like have no effect on the dance for me. The dance is its own kind of truth with or without our input.
Regards,
A'isha

 

[Shanazel]

I have such a hard time with conflict or confrontation of any kind.

It is okay to retire from a thread, Farasha. When the words get too harsh and the heat of argument becomes an inferno raging out of control, leave those feeding the flames to deal with each other as they see fit and seek more congenial company elsewhere on the forum.

 

[Farasha Hanem]

Thank you, A'isha and Shanazel.

 

[Eugeniaargentina]

love this phrase

thanks Aisha, I love this "I would say look to the dance and try to see the ways in which you can honor it, instead of looking only at the ways in which it can serve you. When you can do that, THEN you are a dancer"
so true!

 

[Aisha Azar]

Dance etc.

thanks Aisha, I love this "I would say look to the dance and try to see the ways in which you can honor it, instead of looking only at the ways in which it can serve you. When you can do that, THEN you are a dancer"
so true!

Dear Eugenia,
Thank you. I think this is one thing wrong in the dance today. Too many dancers don't get that the dance is something that exists outside themselves and they begin to think its all just about them. You see this attitude reflected in many different ways.
Regards,
A'isha

 

[Zorba]

Too many dancers don't get that the dance is something that exists outside themselves and they begin to think its all just about them.

Yes, when in actuality is it all about the audience - the dancer is so very incidental. It took me years to truely understand that.

 

[cathy]

Yes, when in actuality is it all about the audience - the dancer is so very incidental. It took me years to truely understand that.

I think it's first about the music. The dancer makes the shape and feeling of the music visible for the audience. Yes the audience can reflect energy back to the dancer too.

Cathy

 

[Aisha Azar]

Dance

Dear Cathy and Zorba,
I think that all elements involved are what makes it the dance. What I meant was that we are a part of that process as individuals, but that the dance is far more than just our little egos asserting themselves in the dance process. the music, the movement, the cultural context,the spirit and essence of the dance all must work in harmony in the dancer, who is merely vehicle for this expressive form. I hope that clarifies what I am trying to say a little better.
Regards,
A'isha

 

[cathy]

Dear Cathy and Zorba,
I think that all elements involved are what makes it the dance. What I meant was that we are a part of that process as individuals, but that the dance is far more than just our little egos asserting themselves in the dance process. the music, the movement, the cultural context,the spirit and essence of the dance all must work in harmony in the dancer, who is merely vehicle for this expressive form. I hope that clarifies what I am trying to say a little better.
Regards,
A'isha

I agree.

Cathy