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Thread: Befriending?

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    Member Tarabelly's Avatar
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    Default Befriending?

    I've been befriending people like a kid in a candy shop. But I notice that it isn't really done here.. Not like Facebook

    Is there any benefit to befriending? Other than having so many lovely people to look at one my profile page?

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    V.I.P. da Sage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tarabelly View Post
    I've been befriending people like a kid in a candy shop. But I notice that it isn't really done here.. Not like Facebook

    Is there any benefit to befriending? Other than having so many lovely people to look at one my profile page?
    Hi Tarabelly,

    There might be some benefits to befriending people (and I appreciate any invitations I get), but I don't like the idea that I have to make those decisions on every message board I belong to! On Tribe, I stopped accepting friends whom I hadn't met in person after dealing with some skeezy people and drama whores. Here and on Bhuz, I refuse to even start playing the friends game.

    If I ever need references for online dealings, I can refer people to dancers who know me in real life! Otherwise, I like my online record (good, snarky/whiny/aggressive, or indifferent) to speak for itself.

    I'm sure I miss out on some things because I haven't "friended" everyone who's asked me. But I don't like the idea of "endorsing" someone I haven't even met, and I just don't want to deal with the friend function every time I go online.

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    Premium Member Aniseteph's Avatar
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    The friends thing only started here recently - maybe that's why people don't do it that much. As a non-Facebooker I haven't a clue about these things

    I tend to go straight to the recent posts page here, so I don't look at my page unless that little box says I've got notifications of something.

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    Moderator Farasha Hanem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by da Sage View Post
    Hi Tarabelly,

    There might be some benefits to befriending people (and I appreciate any invitations I get), but I don't like the idea that I have to make those decisions on every message board I belong to! On Tribe, I stopped accepting friends whom I hadn't met in person after dealing with some skeezy people and drama whores. Here and on Bhuz, I refuse to even start playing the friends game.

    If I ever need references for online dealings, I can refer people to dancers who know me in real life! Otherwise, I like my online record (good, snarky/whiny/aggressive, or indifferent) to speak for itself.

    I'm sure I miss out on some things because I haven't "friended" everyone who's asked me. But I don't like the idea of "endorsing" someone I haven't even met, and I just don't want to deal with the friend function every time I go online.

    oO;; "Endorsing"? Are you talking about bellydance business?

    I only recently ran into the Friends Thing, quite by accident, and yes, I sent invitations for friendships to those here whom I've liked and respected since joining, based on their posts (and I haven't yet contacted everyone whom I would like to befriend). Yes, I've never met any of you in person, but you can still get an idea of what someone is like based on what they write. There are a number of people here whose wisdom I have a deep respect for, and there are those whose beautiful, positive, and sweet dispositions absolutely shine (like Lydia's, for instance), and when these people don't get to be online for whatever reason, it does leave a hole in the community that can be felt. But please don't think I'm berating you, daSage; to each his/her own. I guess there are those (and I'm not talking about anyone here, I'm thinking of other online communities) who go around "befriending" people, just to up their popularity. That is self-serving nonsense, and I don't like such practices.

    I hope nothing I've said offended you, and even if you don't like the Friends Thing here, I still like you. *hugs*

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    V.I.P. da Sage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Farasha Hanem View Post
    oO;; "Endorsing"? Are you talking about bellydance business?
    <snip>
    But please don't think I'm berating you, daSage; to each his/her own. I guess there are those (and I'm not talking about anyone here, I'm thinking of other online communities) who go around "befriending" people, just to up their popularity. That is self-serving nonsense, and I don't like such practices.

    I hope nothing I've said offended you, and even if you don't like the Friends Thing here, I still like you. *hugs*
    Well, someone might think that because someone has lots of friends, they're a good person to buy from/sell to/learn from. There was an issue with someone on Tribe that had hundreds of friends, then she spazzed out on some business deals. Her RL friends tried (mostly unsuccessfully) to get in touch with her, and her online-only friends had to admit they really didn't know her personally. I've friended people who have told me completely different things about their personal lives than they told my friends (like "I am married with kids" to my married friend, while never bringing up wife and kids with single me - but very interested in visiting the city and being shown around by either of us...).

    I think the friends function is a cool idea, but I just don't want to mess with it.

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    Moderator Amulya's Avatar
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    On some sites the friends section has a function, like on Tribe you get an automatic feed of people's blogs, which is handy. On Facebook the friends are the only people who can see your full page if you get the privacy settings right. Also very handy. But on forums like this it doesn't much have a function I think. I'm on another forum that is exactly the same format as this one, and I have a friends list, but it doesn't make much sense LOL.

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    Moderator Farasha Hanem's Avatar
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    I don't like Facebook because I seem to get inundated by apps every time I log on, but that's just me. Plus, I also get inundated by friendship requests from men from the Middle East (eek eeek eeeeek!!!), even though I've made it clear that I'm married, and "Farasha Hanem" is my username, and I'm Mexican-American, not Middle Eastern. I usually get the response: "No speak English," although one of these guys also sent me a message, "I need more sexy girls." If he doesn't know English, how did he know how to say that?!?

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    Member maylynn's Avatar
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    I agree, befriending here is a bit arbitrary and shouldn't be taken too seriously, but still a nice gesture.

    I like Facebook. But being the privacy fiend that I am, I have it set up so that no one but my friends can see anything about me, other than my name, and can't send me messages or anything. Farasha, you could change your settings and do the same - and also reject all apps. Plus I think the apps phase is mostly over now, thank goodness.

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    Senior Member AngelaJP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Farasha Hanem View Post
    There are a number of people here whose wisdom I have a deep respect for, and there are those whose beautiful, positive, and sweet dispositions absolutely shine (like Lydia's, for instance), and when these people don't get to be online for whatever reason, it does leave a hole in the community that can be felt.
    This is my reason for having friends here too and I like it Not for business here as I don't sell stuff. I accept friend requests and request to add too. So far, all has been beautiful!

    To each his own, of course.

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    Moderator Amulya's Avatar
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    The privacy settings on Facebook are great! I've made it so that no one can find me, unless I give them my permission. I also have some photo albums put in such a way that only certain friends can see them, and other albums are for everybody.
    The aplication invitations come from friends, but you can delete them.

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