Getting over Stage fright

[Suhad]

Or maybe Becoming Your Dance Name

I still have horrible stage fright; even when being evaluated by my instructor I can feel myself forgetting simple things like standing up straight, now stiffening my arms, having strong hips -- getting up to perform in front of an audience is much worse!

Don't get me wrong; she's a very supportive instructor, not intimidating, and honest which I need in order to get better. It's an issue with ME, not her -- but I do want to be able to share the joy this dance brings me with others, and maybe at least make enough money to cover my class expenses (costumes are my luxury treats). HOWEVER, that will never happen if I'm so nervous I make my audience nervous.

Any suggestions, other than simply performing over and over again? Valium is not an option, my instructor already nixed that idea

 

[Gia al Qamar]

Well...you answered your own question!
Repetition of dancing in front of others (practice) will make what seems very foreign to you now very familiar.
Right now, as a student, you're very focused on the external....your arm positions, posture, what others are doing and what they look like as they're looking at you .
As you mature and become more confident in your dance skills, you'll be able to escape inside the music and dance freely, with your entire focus being on you, how you feel and what the music is speaking to you...
Give yourself the gift of time...when you're ready to perform...you will.
Before every show, I remind myself why it is that I dance...that calms me to the core...
Gia

 

[Moon]

Dear Suhad,
Maybe you've ever heard from "Emotional Freedom Technique"? It is a quite easy and fast technique which makes use of the bodies' natural energy system to come over fears and phobias (and also things like weight problems, addictions etc.) When applying the technique correctly, you can solve "emotional" problems within half an hour!
I know this sounds extremely weird, but maybe you'll be interested to try it out?
You can find more about it on this website and even download a free manual.
Last year, I sometimes suffered from extremely negative emotions and they are almost gone now after I applied the technique only once.
Again, I know this sounds weird and unbelievable, but there is no harm in trying it out (it even works for sceptical people) and I hope it will work for you and solve your problem.

 

[Safran]

The solution would be practice and practice. The more you practise your technique, the more your body will remember it and your mind will be free to enjoy and show the enjoyment to the audience. Practice with an audience - ask your friends to watch and try to concentrate more on them than worrying if you're doing something wrong or not.

I too get stage fright every now and then... It hits me the moment I go out in front of the audience and then as I start to dance it gradually dissolves. But I've said it before and I will say it again - a small bit of nervousness or related excitement only benefits your performance. The physical side of it gives your face a nice glow and the psychological side will keep you alert and ready to adapt to different situations.

Before every show, I remind myself why it is that I dance...that calms me to the core...
Gia

That is such a nice thought, Gia... Maybe I should write it down somewhere on my costume bag or make-up set, so I would see and be reminded of it before every performance.

I know this sounds extremely weird, but maybe you'll be interested to try it out?
You can find more about it on this website and even download a free manual.

Yes, I am a bit sceptical about it. Especially with this site - I find it extremely hard to find adequate information about it. Could you please give a very short overview of what is the point of this technique?

 

[Moon]

Yes, I am a bit sceptical about it. Especially with this site - I find it extremely hard to find adequate information about it. Could you please give a very short overview of what is the point of this technique?

According to EFT, the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy system. (For example, when a person experiences a frightening situation, the body's energy system will be disrupted which causes negative emotions every time the person is confronted with a similar situation). By tapping with 2 fingers at certain body spots, while focussing on the problem you want to address, the disruption will go away and the energy can flow freely again, and so will the emotional problems go away. EFT, just like acupuncture and reflexology, make use of so called "meridian spots" on the body.
When I first read about it I also didn't believe it. That's because everyone thinks emotional and psychological problems take a long time to be solved, while with EFT it will only cost you 1 or a few sessions of less than 10 minutes.
I've tried it and it worked for me.
I let everyone decide for themselves whether they believe in it or not and want to try it or not, but I only want to say that it worked for me (while I was being sceptical) and it made me really happy.

Also, the manual can be downloaded for free, which is for me enough proof that this is not some weirdo who wants to make money with some non-existing thing.

 

[Gia al Qamar]

I have to say, I was very keen on diregarding the post about "EFT", but in reading your explanation, I have to say that it's appears to me to be a reinvention of an ancient practice.
I wrote earlier that, before taking the stage, I remind myself about why I dance...what I didn't mention was that I touch the bindi at the center of my brow as I do this...it is a physical manefestation, a way to focus my internal thoughts externally. The practice of doing this is actually quite ancient...a lot of performers have a 'ritual' that they do or a luck charm that they incorporate into their pre-show routine. Same thing...
Gia

 

[Yshka]

Hi Suhad, and everyone else,

Good topic. I also felt like bringing it up when it was addressed in another thread for I suffer from stagefright too.
My case is kind of weird. I get stagefright BEFORE I have to go on stage. When on stage it seems to go down a bit, but most of the time it results in extremely shaking hands. It's like: i kind of feel fright'ish, and my hands start shaking. Sometimes I don't even feel the fright thing but my hands just shake.
I haven't performed loads of times, but I seem to feel that the hand shaking doesn't go away. I start feeling better at every performance that goes well, but still even if I don't feel scared, my hands get shaky.
I also experience this when speaking in front of an audience, or even being watched by my teacher (though she's amazing and she is the only person I'd ever want watching and then evaluating me).
The weird thing is I also start feeling stagefright'ish when I know for sure that there is no need to. I still feel scared though I also feel I have no reason to.

But I've said it before and I will say it again - a small bit of nervousness or related excitement only benefits your performance.

I agree, but in a very few occasions it got worse.. I hated it, and a few times it affected my performance as well (like once I felt so awful I got a terrible stomach ache which was to be read from my face at that moment..) This doesn't happen much, to be honest that was the worst thing I ever experienced for that matter, but I felt I really needed something that calms me down before a performance.

I have tried a few things: I make sure that I feel totally secure about my looks and costume and that I know my choreo by heart (in a wake-me-up-sometime-at-night-and-i'll-dance-it-for-you sort of way), I try to have fun with my troupemates, teacher, friends, whoever is there with me for the moment that could possibly make me feel better, before a performance. I also try to do what Gia does (good point Gia!), telling myself why I dance, and also what it has done for me. And make sure I visit the little girls room before going on stress makes me want to pee...

Still there are times I feel even that is not enough.
Moon, I've just downloaded the EFT manual. I am so going to try it. I must say I am a bit sceptical about it but let's say I'm open to it.

As for a dance name, I'd love to have one for real, but I don't like the idea of picking it myself. I think if I had a dance personality to kind of 'become' when performing I could let goat least a bit of all the stress.. plus it sounds cool

 

[taheya]

oooh thanks for the link moon, im certainly going to give it a go!

 

[Moon]

oooh thanks for the link moon, im certainly going to give it a go!

No problem
My first thought when I read approximately half of the manual: "The whole world should know this!!!"

 

[Aisha Azar]

Stage Fright

Dear Suhad,
I have terrible stage fright, even after all this time. I try to look at it is a positive instead of a negative and think about how much extra adrenaline is in my body, how it is making me aware of every musicle and fine tuning my senses to every nuance in the music. I try to envision it as a valuable performance asset instead of thinking how queasy my stomach is or how much I feel shaky.
I find that after a few minutes on the stage or in front of the class or whatever, then I begin to put it to good use and when I am concentrating on those positibved mentioned above, then the "fright" part begins to leave and I feel energized instead.
REgards,
A'isha

 

[Yshka]

Dear A'isha,

wow, I didn't think of it that way. I think I'm going to try and find the positive things in my 'fright' next time. Turning the negative feelings around into something positive might actually work for me.

Yshka

 

[Jamil]

hmmm

Firstly let me start by telling you that i am supposed to be studying for a genetics exam that i have on monday... but instead i got so bored of reading about hetrozygotic chomosomes and their alignment in the chaisma, that i decided to read up on how my sisters of belly dance were holding up in their dance lives! lol

As a male bellydancer i assure you that fear and nervousness is not something that is alien to me! most complain about how they think that they will go out infront of an audience and be laughed off the stage because the 'MED' audience will see right threw them... blah blah blah blah blah!
you women have it sooooo easy!!!!

before every performance i try to remind myself that 'i dont care what they think' but the unfortunate thing about that is, as humans, we do! i worry about how the arabic audience will take to me, will they think i act feminine? will they think i look fat? will they think i am rushing a performance? or slowing a performance? too many thing drift threw this head of mine.
the reality is that not any of that is right. most of the audience are looking what you can bring to the stage! if you are slightly overweight, THEY DONT CARE! but they will notice if you are nervous and you will only scare yourself more then you should!

with experience i have truely learnt to widdle down my worries about what others think about me, and replace it with a big smile. in biology i learnt that if you force yourself to smile, (or even if you hold a pencil inbetween your clenched teeth) the muscles that are used for smiling have been activated and as a result your brain begins to 'cheer up'
so my theory is go out there smiling, even if yu are dragging yourself in doing so... use that energy that the sympathetic system is quite generously giving you, and convince that audience out ther that the next 20 mins, will be the best goddam 20 min of their lives!!!

-Jamil-

ok now back to drawing my diahybrid crosses of dominant and recessive alleles! lol

 

[Gia al Qamar]

most complain about how they think that they will go out infront of an audience and be laughed off the stage because the 'MED' audience will see right threw them... blah blah blah blah blah!
you women have it sooooo easy!!!!

...how the arabic audience will take to me, will they think i look fat? will they think i am rushing a performance? or slowing a performance? -Jamil-

Hi Jamil!
I enjoyed your post!
Now...I know that what you said was meant to be read with a light touch...but...you know...women have it just as hard as male performers. While you're concerned about the perception of a male dancer in a female dominated genre, often looked down upon by Arabs for dancing, women are concerned that we're being eyeballed as "sharmouta" or whores for dancing professionally in addition to all those reasons for feeling insecure.
There's no 'ease' to this dance...not for men...certainly not for women...
Gia

 

[Jamil]

Hi Jamil!
I know that what you said was meant to be read with a light touch...but...you know...women have it just as hard as male performers.

agreed!
i have a very talented sister, whose talent farrrrr surpasses me in and many other dancers i have ever seen in my life! but like the stigma that belly dancing has on many arab women, my sister has been forbidden to dance. a decision she does not begrudge too much (in the Arab tradition, a woman who dances is considered a whore, and thus would hardly ever find a respectable husband) yes i often wonder why my heritage is so backwards! lol
she loves the fact that she can use her hidden talents at weddings and social gatherings and has the audience it absolute shock and glee! however she does not put other dancers on show... she did once tho (very tastefully, and very necessary! lol *enough said*)

the ironic thing is was i was growing up, i used to look up to her with envy knowing that she had the chance to become professional... now the tables have turned and i have become the entertainer and she supports my profession, as if it was her own.

so stress less ladies... i wasnt putting you down saying it was sooo easy . just saying that us males have our share of the criticism aswell! lol
i believe that all bellydancers (regardless of sex, age or appearance) deserve ALL the support they can get. especially from the bellydance community, it kills me to know that there are dancers out ther that make fun of other dancers especially if they are very talented and skilled!

-Jamil-

 

[Jamil]

oops!

... my sister has been forbidden to dance.

im sorry that sounds wrong! she hasnt been forbidden to dance in general... just professionally, in resturants, concerts, etc...
we are not that backwards! lol

-Jamil-

 

[Gia al Qamar]

i believe that all bellydancers (regardless of sex, age or appearance) deserve ALL the support they can get. especially from the bellydance community, it kills me to know that there are dancers out ther that make fun of other dancers especially if they are very talented and skilled!

-Jamil-

Absolutely right on the money Jamil!
BTW...I just saw your clip online...you're a terrific dancer!
Gia

 

[Safran]

EFT, just like acupuncture and reflexology, make use of so called "meridian spots" on the body.

Thanks Moon, it makes a lot more sense now. I'll look into it some time in the nearest future.

i believe that all bellydancers (regardless of sex, age or appearance) deserve ALL the support they can get. especially from the bellydance community

This is why I sooo adore the little haflas our studios hold, or the social dinners of festivals - other dancers contribute so much to the performance by just cheering and smiling along. You already get such a motivational boost by being part of the audience, so you can imagine what effect it has on the dancer... And I am glad to say that this kind of positive events have dominated in my dance life, so I can just ignore the negative ones

 

[Suhad]

Sometimes the oddest things can be connected.

I haven't only been having problems with stage fright, I've also been having what I thought was anxiety attacks and insomnia. Since I'm in my last semester of nursing school, I just attributed it to that and becoming psycho due to the stress.

Come to find out, my thyroid hormone dose is now too high, and it's been cut in half as of today by my doctor. Now THAT makes sense!

I will try several of the suggestions you all have posted to help as well, but I think some of my most recent panic may be more related to hormones than panic -- but I would like to get to the point where I view the stress more as excitement and anticipation than "oh my god i'm going to perform and everybody's going to hate it why am i doing this..." like I have been lately.

 

[Tarik Sultan]

Stage fright

Hi Su:

I used to suffer from stage fright for many years. At times, I still do, especially if its a really important gig and the audience seems really cold or conservative, or if its a room full of guys, (that sucks!).

I do a few things before and during the show:

First, I take the attention off of myself. The performance is not about me, its about the audience. My job as a dancer is not to have the crowd give me their attention and energy, its for me to entertain them and give them my energy. Its my job to make them forget about their crappy job, the bills, the crazy kids and all of that other stuff. I'm their therapist for the evening. This way I don't have to worry about what I look like, my costume, my technique etc,etc.

Second since its no longer about me, but about them, I can now focus on what my intention is, to make them have a good time. I totally concentrate on my intention for the performance, which is to make the people happy. I want to put a smile on their faces, make them have a bit of fun. I may even repeat this to myself and concentrate on it.

Third: You have to give them what you want to get in return. No matter how crappy I may feel, as soon as I make my entrance I put on that smile. I smile and make eye contact with the audience. Have you ever notice how hard it is not to smile when someone is smiling at you? I actively engage the audience. After a few moments it becomes real and I am really having fun! If some people in the audience seem cold, I go over and joke with them, or do something to make them crack a smile, even if its something silly like putting on a face.

Remember, the audience wants to like you, so you already have the battle more than half won. If they didn't want to see you, they would have gotten up and left before you came out.

Of course nothing works 100% of the time. sometimes you just get a crowd that has a collective stick up their asses, sometimes they just are so taken that they just want to watch quietly and not interupt the performance, sometimes they just died and didn't get the notice in the mail that they've passed on. If this should happen, just remember, its not your fault and dance for yourself smile regardless and enjoy yourself. You'd be surprised to find that how many people were really having a good time when you though no one was paying attention.

The next time you have to show your stuff, give it a try and see how it works.

Love and light

Tarik Sultan

 

[Yshka]

Dear Tarik,

your way of making yourself feel better before a performance sounds great. It also makes sense to me, I think I might try this next time I perform.

You know stagefright is the weirdest thing. I performed today at local hafla. Wasn't actually on a stage but in the middle of people sitting around the 'dancefloor'. This situation seemed to be my worst nightmare since I have messed up big time in a similar setting before. I got to the hafla feeling alright. I dressed for the performance feeling a bit tense but not that bad. Performing before me was young girl doing a really cute routine to Sheek Shak Shok. After that it was my turn. Music started to play (might be that this was a song by Fatma Serhan I can totally loose myself in) and I just got out there and danced, it felt wonderful and though I still had a sort of tense feeling and (less shaky than usual) shaky hands, it felt really good. I find it hard to interact with the audience because of stagefright issues, but I was actually able to smile and make eye contact, dance for people, move around and feel great! I never felt anything like it. Was like I totally made up for my bad performance the other time.
I feel much better now, maybe I can let go of that annoying fear of dancing 'among' people (like, not on a stage) now.

I think one thing I can say for sure now is that if you 'suffer' from stagefright, don't let previous performances-gone-bad increase your stagefright. I've experienced today that it is totally up to a dancer his/herself to kind of create a better atmosphere while dancing (or at least try to ) and simply have fun, if the dancer looks great and happy, the audience might pick up on that (unlikely in case of a deceased audience Tarik described: then, to quote Moon: "at least YOU're having fun" )

Best wishes,
Yshka