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  1. #71
    V.I.P. lizaj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bopeep View Post
    I was just thinking about how we are conditioned to think about age, beauty and the whole nine yards. When I was a teenager, I remember thinking that I would be too old to 'celebrate' the change of the millenium when it came (I was 33, hardly old!). During my 20's and 30's I thought I was too old to learn to belly dance (I had done ballet as a teen/kid and I thought that was when you needed to start), and that I would look ridiculous. I thought I couldn't be beautiful at 40 (even though I thought Isabella Rosselini was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen). I had a very warped sense of age and what it meant. I don't think 'society' did this to me - I think I did it to myself. There are a lot of cues out there that youth is everything, but there are also lots of examples to take that age can be beautiful too.

    But something happened to me when 40 was staring me in the face. I decided I didn't care what others thought about how I looked. So last fall, I started belly dancing - it was my 40th birthday present from my hubby. I wanted to do it for ME. I wanted to to have fun, satisfy a 20 year old desire, and become beautiful in my own mind.

    I think it takes a certain level of confidence, experience and maturity before we are able to throw off the reasons that were holding us back. I think we middle aged and older types *are* brave, because it is hard to start belly dancing when you have believed you could not or should not. It's not the shackles that society places on us that are hard to break, it's the ones we place on ourselves that tie us down. I had 20 years worth of insecurity and underconfidence to dump before I could begin, and women who are 50 or 60 and up have even more than I did! It is so liberating to prove yourself wrong, and discover that you really *can* do this, and that it's so much fun. I felt so proud of myself when I performed at the rec centre's Xmas show, not because I was good (I wasn't), but because - I did it!

    DH was proud too, and that made it even sweeter!

    BP
    I didn't feel *brave* for starting to learn to belly dance at age 51 anymore than had I wanted to start roller-blading or ball room dance. Why should I?
    I didn't feel foolish or that I was wasting my time and those who might think me so..to h$ll with them.
    What I did find was that I had a lot more hard physical and mental and academic work to do than I had originally thought and it was all a lot more of a challenge

    I suppose I always admired older women and as a young woman thought the likes of Lauren Bacall and Katherine Hepburn and Marlene Dietrich only to be admired and in my dreams aspired to.
    Now who do I find to be the best actresses and smartest women and yes the most beautiful?Judi Dench, Helen Mirren and Honor Blackman..hey old birds .the young gels have a long way to go!

  2. #72
    V.I.P. chryssanthi sahar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Granddad View Post
    :
    I didn't plan to be a granddad so young but my son didn't give me much choice in the matter.
    That's cool, Granddad It's great to have grandchildren when you are still young. I hope my daughter (who is now 22) won't wait too long, until she makes me grandma
    It's a pity that some of your grandchildren live so far away, but the joy of reunion is certainly big

  3. #73
    Junior Member bopeep's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizaj View Post
    I didn't feel *brave* for starting to learn to belly dance at age 51 anymore than had I wanted to start roller-blading or ball room dance. Why should I?
    I didn't feel foolish or that I was wasting my time and those who might think me so..to h$ll with them.
    What I did find was that I had a lot more hard physical and mental and academic work to do than I had originally thought and it was all a lot more of a challenge
    I wish I had thought like this before now, but I didn't. There is absolutely no reason to feel foolish, and you had/have the right attitude. I don't know why I limited myself in this way, but I did. I was a coward when it came to learning to belly dance, and it's something I've wanted to learn to do for years. For me, it took a real amount of change to say that I don't care if someone else thinks I look ridiculous. I know that a couple of other students in my beginner class felt the same way, and even worse - they were too afraid to perform in the student show. They haven't even made it as far as I have.

    It was beyond stupid to feel this way, I know, and I refuse to limit myself like that anymore - now I'm proud of what I've done. I don't think I look ridiculous, and neither did the friends that came to watch my show (actually, they were in awe of what I could do!). I know I still have a huge amount to learn, since I've only been doing this for three months, but I *can* do this and I *will* get better. I am having so much fun that I am really mad at myself for being such a coward and not taking lessons all these years!

    Somehow, something in me changed and I lost the fear that was holding me back. Maybe it wasn't that I became 'brave', but instead, I outgrew my fear? I'm not sure exactly what it was, just that I changed. This is something of a 'new me' and, and it came about so suddenly, I'm still trying to figure out what the heck happened!

    BP

  4. #74
    Moderator Shanazel's Avatar
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    Good for you, BP. It's never too late to blossom.

  5. #75
    V.I.P. lizaj's Avatar
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    Yey something changed and you did it..is it the "I've got to this age and now I don't give a sh$$..."

    But then I had to put up with a young dancer looking down her nose at me and saying "Oh I'm giving up before I get old!"Well I reckon she'll miss out but there ya go!

  6. #76
    Moderator Shanazel's Avatar
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    Nothing wrong with that young dancer that twenty or thirty years won't cure.

  7. #77
    Junior Member bopeep's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizaj View Post
    But then I had to put up with a young dancer looking down her nose at me and saying "Oh I'm giving up before I get old!"Well I reckon she'll miss out but there ya go!
    Oh my! How sad. I'm sure she'll change her mind once she is olderand realizes her old-age is in her head, but still, to think that way is so limiting and sad. Being the recently reformed person I am, you'd think I would understand her to some degree, but I can't. I really can't understand why she (or I) would put a limit like that on dancing. It's so stupid!

    I'm sure that at some point I will have to give this up because I will get too old, but I hope that point comes in my 80's or 90's, or even later! I'd love to be shimmying along with my walker

    BP

  8. #78
    V.I.P. jenc's Avatar
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    One reason I took this up at 57 is that I know old ladies of 100 who still walk to town and knew that I wanted to optimum peak flexibility and stamina for as long as possible. I reckon that a lot of younger people are going to be a burden when they get older because they don't have the muscle tone now!

  9. #79
    V.I.P. lizaj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenc View Post
    One reason I took this up at 57 is that I know old ladies of 100 who still walk to town and knew that I wanted to optimum peak flexibility and stamina for as long as possible. I reckon that a lot of younger people are going to be a burden when they get older because they don't have the muscle tone now!
    and when the toll of mackies and gloopy drinks hits home!

  10. #80
    Premium Member Aniseteph's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizaj View Post
    But then I had to put up with a young dancer looking down her nose at me and saying "Oh I'm giving up before I get old!"
    That is priceless! Blah blah blah hope I die before I get old blah blah blah... Deserves to be remembered for years so people can keep asking her why she hasn't given up yet.

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