How do you all deal with this problem?

[Shanazel]

Dear Shanazel,
We can only stand so much sugar..... or is that.... We can only stand so much, Sugar.
Hugs to Y'all,
A'isha

:lol: Shall I pass the Sweet n' Low? Or the insulin?

 

[PracticalDancer]

I notice those Southern girls from further north than me forgot, "Goodness gracious, aren't you sweet to be thinking of me and my little ol' show! Well, bless your heart, we have a full show planned; I am just so sorry that I didnt know you were working on beleditechnoromanbhutofusion. Do tell me what on earth inspired you to compose this interesting number! Did you study with someone new???"

Lord, can you imagine the three of us all in the same room, cooing and purring to the would-be performer?

Well, ya'll should know I didn't want to perpetuate stereotypes!

At what point do we bite our tongues and try to be nice to people . . .

Kharis does have a valid point about the line between trying to be supportive and risking compromising one's own standards and principles (as a teacher or as a leader in the dance community). I remember from my Mom's days as an art student how she talked about facing "critiques" from her professors and fellow students. (Keep in mind, I was about 5 to 7 years old, so the word stuck in my head as a "big people word.") The critiques were an expected part of the curriculum: the artist had to not only expect compliments and criticism in the critique, the artist's reaction to the process was part of the grade.

Perhaps because (around here, at least) students tend to be hobbyists at best and there for the exercise at worst, they don't consider themselves to be professionals who must pass muster or artists who need to embrace feedback.

The heaviest words my husband ever said to me were, "You need to decide whether you want to treat this as your hobby or your art. And, if you decide to call it your art, you have to treat it that way and give it the respect it deserves." Carrying the weight of those words around has given me much stronger emotional muscles. I highly recommend it as a workout.

Regards,

Anala

 

[Shanazel]

Well, ya'll should know I didn't want to perpetuate stereotypes!

Ever read a book called A Southern Belle Primer (or Why Princess Margaret Would Never Make Kappa Kappa Gamma)? MY mother and I laughed ourselves silly reading it outloud on a trip to Natchez.

"You need to decide whether you want to treat this as your hobby or your art. And, if you decide to call it your art, you have to treat it that way and give it the respect it deserves."

Very astute of him!

 

[Reen.Blom]

Many people have waited silently to be chosen (for artistic collaboration, a promotion at work, etc), only to be told later, "Oh! I had no idea you were interested!", which puts the blame for a missed opportunity back on them. Such people would rather put themselves forward a little bit, even risking being considered presumptuous, instead of wondering later, "What if I had said something?"

I must be one of those... After all, it's the bold and beautiful that have the ball, even if they are mediocre... And modest bleak wallflowers allways stay in the back row... even if they are better... all because... nobody had a clue they were interested.... :lol:

 

[Aisha Azar]

Dance etc.

Dear Reen,
I am not sure this is how it works all the time. I know that in my dance company, it is not important to us if a person is well known or popular or whatever. What we are looking for is who can enhance our performances on some level.
Regards,
A'isha

 

[Reen.Blom]

Dear Reen,
I am not sure this is how it works all the time. I know that in my dance company, it is not important to us if a person is well known or popular or whatever. What we are looking for is who can enhance our performances on some level.
Regards,
A'isha

That's why I like your apporoach, too many times it is the loudest and the one who knows how to push him/herself forward gets the place, and not according to the real merits.

 

[Aisha Azar]

Dance

That's why I like your apporoach, too many times it is the loudest and the one who knows how to push him/herself forward gets the place, and not according to the real merits.

Dear Reen,
This is going to sound SO horrible, and I am just not sure how to say it in a nice way. I mean it less as a criticism of what is going on in the world of Middle Eastern dance today and more as an observation. Some years ago someone told me that in order for many people to understand that I am very good at what I do, I was going to have to learn to toot my own horn, because too many people simply do not understand the difference between a good dancer and a bad one. I guess some people feel they have to really get their attention so that they can have half a chance to show what they are made of. I have come to realize that this person was right, that many dancers do not know the difference between a real dancer and someone who puts on a flashy show but has no substance. This goes in the class room as well as on stage, until students get to take a class from a person who is a teacher in their very soul and not just a person who demonstrates dance. On stage, it is often the dancers with gimmicks that get the most attention. It can be very frustrating for those who know they offer a quality product, but can not get anyone to take them seriously. This is why I have spent years getting at the meat of the matter and seeing beyond the flashy costumes and glitzy gimmicks. I want to see people who can really dance succeed!! I can hopefully include myself in that group and treat others the way I would choose to be treated.
Regards,
A'isha

 

[alosha]

Dear Reen,
This is going to sound SO horrible, and I am just not sure how to say it in a nice way. I mean it less as a criticism of what is going on in the world of Middle Eastern dance today and more as an observation. Some years ago someone told me that in order for many people to understand that I am very good at what I do, I was going to have to learn to toot my own horn, because too many people simply do not understand the difference between a good dancer and a bad one. I guess some people feel they have to really get their attention so that they can have half a chance to show what they are made of. I have come to realize that this person was right, that many dancers do not know the difference between a real dancer and someone who puts on a flashy show but has no substance. This goes in the class room as well as on stage, until students get to take a class from a person who is a teacher in their very soul and not just a person who demonstrates dance. On stage, it is often the dancers with gimmicks that get the most attention. It can be very frustrating for those who know they offer a quality product, but can not get anyone to take them seriously. This is why I have spent years getting at the meat of the matter and seeing beyond the flashy costumes and glitzy gimmicks. I want to see people who can really dance succeed!! I can hopefully include myself in that group and treat others the way I would choose to be treated.
Regards,
A'isha

and that is exactly where i hope to be someday. not necessarily to be famous or anything, but to be seen by other dancers as having good technical and interpretive abilities, as well as entertaining an audience.

 

[Aisha Azar]

Dance etc.

and that is exactly where i hope to be someday. not necessarily to be famous or anything, but to be seen by other dancers as having good technical and interpretive abilities, as well as entertaining an audience.

Dear Alosha,
I think the first step is knowing that there IS a difference, and then being able to recognize the difference between good dancers and famous ones!! After that it is possible to consistently study with people who have something of value to offer as opposed to who is popular right now. I have taken classes with the same people over and over again because I find that what they offer has great value. I am hoping that some day integrity in the dance becomes the most "popular" thing of all. I am probably going to expire before this happens. Old age is making me cynical!!
Regards,
A'isha