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  1. #71
    V.I.P. Ariadne's Avatar
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    Thank you.

    [edit: query taken to PM]
    Last edited by Ariadne; 05-01-2009 at 07:49 PM. Reason: problem

  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kharis View Post
    I'm guessing you mean my comment about aisha azar not being a relevant member of this board anymore?

    Um no, I mean your ugly-spirited comment about Aisha having a spiteful tongue and a mean attitude, when it was clear that the whole point of the thread was NOT to attack anybody but to bring a long time member back.

    You are here preaching about forgiveness and cruelty (huh!) when your behavior says otherwise. Your eagerness to be the first person to participate in this thread just goes to show what you are here for: to create more chaos and trouble. Get off your high horse already.

    btw I just noticed that you're using the same tactic you used in the Arab/Muslim thread that resulted in someone cursing back at you. You are pushing my buttons on purpose, how cruel and dirty!

  3. #73
    Member Awasef's Avatar
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    Kharis, if 'Aisha Azar' was not relevant anymore, why did you accuse me of being her under another pseudonym? I'm new to this forum, and it's easy enough for a moderator to check something called an IP address, and whether someone has registered before or not. I don't know what your problem was with that person, but I think you and Kharmine are obsessed with her. She is gone, and yet you keep bringing her up, and you say that she is not relevant, but apparently here she is as 'Awasef' - that nasty 'troll' who got upset at the 'Arabs and Muslims' thread.

    Kharmine; I think you could qualify as a troll based on your own definition. And if you are not a troll, then I would certainly say that you are a narcissist. You exhibit all the traits of someone with a narcissistic personality.

    Here is a definition:

    ''Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, need for admiration, extreme self-involvement, and lack of empathy for others.''


    You have not only initiated a witch-hunt, you have also manipulated this whole drama to recruit people to your side and to continue the character assassination of a departed member. You repeatedly speak on behalf of others. You repeatedly assume that your opinion is supreme and must not be disputed. You seem to think that you are the one who makes the rules on this board.

    Trust me my dear, you may be loud, but you are not nearly as important as you think you are.


    And Freddie - what on Earth was your 'Awasef analysis' about? Yes, my name means 'storms' - newsflash - Arabic names have meanings. They are not just exotic sounding syllables. If a member was called 'Amar' (moon) - would you accuse her of having an effect on the tides? Honestly, what was your point?

    Also, I am not really interested in belly dancing, but I was having fun in the Arabic thread dishing about celebrity news, TV variety shows, and Arabic comedians. Not exactly subversive stuff, you know. If I reacted to the Arabs and Muslims thread it was because I found it highly offensive.

  4. #74
    Super Moderator gisela's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gypsy8522 View Post
    gisela,

    I truly apologize for that.
    Thank you Gypsy
    immer glimmer

  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Awasef View Post
    Kharis, if 'Aisha Azar' was not relevant anymore, why did you accuse me of being her under another pseudonym? I'm new to this forum, and it's easy enough for a moderator to check something called an IP address, and whether someone has registered before or not.
    I'm full aware of IP addresses. And being fully aware, and computer literate, I am guilty of being facetious, which I should not have been and formally apologise to you for this. I get riled up pretty easily, and so do you, so I publicly extend my hand to you here and say, sorry for intimating you were an Aisha doppleganger.

  6. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Awasef View Post



    You have not only initiated a witch-hunt, you have also manipulated this whole drama to recruit people to your side and to continue the character assassination of a departed member.
    May I ask if you are a friend of Aisha's?

  7. #77
    Administrator Salome's Avatar
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    Exclamation On topic

    Ok, ok, ok... this thread has become a carry over where, mostly, people are exploring their personal dislikes of each other and past wrong doings and whatnot. The topic was something like this:

    Is a troll a person that drops by once to stir the pot or a longtimer and if a troll is a long timer then why are they not regarded as a troll?

    Let's try to stay on this topic in this thread.

  8. #78
    Member summerdance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kharis View Post
    May I ask if you are a friend of Aisha's?
    How exactly is this relevant? We are a bunch of strangers here to discuss music and dance, for the most part.

    Is this burying the hatchet? No. It's not. Aisha has left. Please stay on point.

    It also seems that you have some grudge against Gypsy. Either hash it out with her privately, or drop it.

    This war of words needs to end.

  9. #79
    V.I.P. Kharmine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gisela View Post
    Well yea, I agree with Gypsy, who is "we" and how do "we" close ranks if "we" don't agree about who is unreasonable? I mean sometimes the issue is clear and some troll or spammer can easily be identified and banned. Sometimes, as in recent events, the issues are not as black and white.
    I agree.

    By "we," I mean those of us who are tired of the warfare, regardless of what side of any issue we feel inclined to be on. This is not about who's right or wrong, but about finding common ground and giving peace a chance.

    We may have stood on the sidelines, ducked out when it got too hot, posted a heated response we later thought better of, joined in when a friend was attacked, been attacked unfairly ourselves or just tried to make peace and got hit anyway -- it doesn't matter.

    That pretty much covers all of us.

    Speaking to a general "you": If you're tired of the warfare, and you feel we need to do more to keep the peace, then we -- individually and collectively -- have to decide not to give into anger, baiting and feuding.

    Whether that behavior is coming from regulars who occasionally get overheated, a real troll or just someone exhibiting trollish behavior.

    1) If we see a post we don't like the content of, or just what we perceive as a negative tone, we can count to 10 and try to first give the benefit of the doubt that the post-er did not intend offense, even if we disagree with what he/she said.

    We can then consider whether to ignore that post or ask in a neutral way more about what they're saying so we can decide on what the meaning of the post truly was.

    2) When we respond, we try to do so calmly and carefully, leaving out insulting language. We keep in mind that people can be quite decent, well-meaning and intelligent and still have opinions that annoy or even infuriate us.

    If none of us have friends here who occasionally piss us off, and with whom there are some subjects we have to agree to disagree, maybe even outright avoid talking about -- then none of us have friends here.

    By "close ranks," I would suggest that when it seems like nothing we say -- on our own behalf or on behalf of others -- is helping to improve the situation -- we don't respond directly any more.

    1) We talk only to people who are being civil, whether they agree with us or not. We stay on topic and stay courteous, regardless. We can quietly let people know that we support them without going out of our way to rub it in the face of those they are disagreeing with.

    2) We report the people who turn abusive. That's important. Press that button when the flamethrowers come out. Send a PM to Salome if you think it's warranted. Support the moderators when they come into the thread and tell people to calm down.

    I started this thread because some of us have been quietly wondering about this topic for some time.

    The folks who stayed civil and on topic seem to have reached more-or-less consensus. I am now responding to a question someone had, and suggesting things to consider to reduce troll-like behavior as defined in the Rules.

    Why? I like this site. I like what Salome is trying to do and I have a lot of friends here. I like to think we could all try better to get along. I'd like to think that everyone here is a friend or a potential friend.

    We shouldn't be dragging friends into personal conflicts by airing them publicly on threads where they don't belong, may make people feel they need to jump in, and certainly won't help keep the peace.

    So, as I've said many times before: If anyone has a personal bone to pick with me, let's take it Outside the threads -- take it to my profile page or even send a PM or email. All I ask is civility. Otherwise, let's just Ignore each other.

  10. #80
    V.I.P. masrawy's Avatar
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    Default hypocrisy!!

    So, as I've said many times before: If anyone has a personal bone to pick with me, let's take it Outside the threads -- take it to my profile page or even send a PM or email. All I ask is civility. Otherwise, let's just Ignore each other.
     
    that explains what you have left me in my profile page ... I wonder who else is in your hit list!!

    04-19-2009 06:05 PMKharmine <http://www.bellydanceforums.net/members/kharmine.html>
    Masrawy, you wacky ol' so-and-so! The only way I'm gonna change is to not respond in the future to your schoolyard bully antics when they're directed at me, no matter how suddenly reasonable you pretend to be! Vaya con Dios!
    I knew, I left it there for a good reason ...

    Belly Dance Forums - View Profile: masrawy

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