A womans worst enemy

Za Linda

New member
My opinion of the original statement is best expressed by a common but vulgar phrase that refers to the end result of feeding hay to horses.
I have to side with Shanazel on this one.

I've had more run-ins, and more dangerous encounters with males, than with females.
 

Rania

New member
I have seen this thread existed, for like a week.

Now Im going to post on it....
But oh man, The last couple days after having a group a caty girls ganging up on me and another womane being extremly mean towards me. Then a guy gives me a giant tip at the restraunt I work in, and im not a waitress, and some guys jumps in to save me from those girls. Im starting to wonder if it true....

Then again I have had male enemies to....
one was a guy who harassed me so bad in Highschool, to homeschooling one year, simply because I turned down an his offer to take me on a date, I turned it down nicely to. lol then two years after that he tried to ask again. as if!

I guess any one can be you enemy.
 
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Belly Love

New member
Then again I have had male enemies to....
one was a guy who harassed me so bad in Highschool, to homeschooling one year, simply because I turned down an his offer to take me on a date, I turned it down nicely to. lol then two years after that he tried to ask again. as if!
The wrath of an insecure guy who has been rejected by you (or women in general) can be a horror too.
 

Punko

New member
"A womans worst enemy is herself". My apologies in advance if someones already quoted this. If someone angers me or I find a "threat", I have a talk with myself and realize its not the other person, its me that has the issues. :think:
 

Rania

New member
"A womans worst enemy is herself". My apologies in advance if someones already quoted this. If someone angers me or I find a "threat", I have a talk with myself and realize its not the other person, its me that has the issues. :think:
Ya that would confuse me to:think: Is that what the quote means? i always thought it was about woman and their battles with body image and self love. :/?? NOw im curious, im going to to google this quote!
 

Jennah

New member
Back in grade 9, one of my best friend's sister said I was "ugly". Now I don't believe anyone who tells me I'm "attractive" or "cute". I guess I'm insecure? I have to tell myself that I'm very pretty at times to gain confidence.
 
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Belly Love

New member
Ya that would confuse me to:think: Is that what the quote means? i always thought it was about woman and their battles with body image and self love. :/?? NOw im curious, im going to to google this quote!
That's pretty much what it means- women often times put themselves down more than anyone else ever does. Most women I know do this on a daily basis. Ex: "My hair is flat, I look fat today, my thighs are gross, my arms are flabby" etc. I personally find it really annoying when women do this constantly.
 

Amulya

Moderator
That's pretty much what it means- women often times put themselves down more than anyone else ever does. Most women I know do this on a daily basis. Ex: "My hair is flat, I look fat today, my thighs are gross, my arms are flabby" etc. I personally find it really annoying when women do this constantly.
Yes a pet peeve of mine too. Women but themselves down so much (and a lot of men too) it's insane, they make themselves feel worse. I have my ups and downs too, but I don't often mention it to others. I am mostly quite happy with myself unless I gain a lot of weight (I had that last year due to medicines, it was shocking). But I used to feel guilty sometimes when I had nothing to complain about and other women are having a b*tch fest over themselves.
 

Nejmeh

New member
I think we somehow forget that more women die at the hands on men than women..

I am not saying bullying is not life threatening, but lets not forget the many victims of domestic violence around the world.
Yes, men kill more then women in general, they will also aim more for physical injury then women.

But to say us women have nothing to do with that is naive IMO. If a father kills his daughter and gets away with it, there is also a mom being silent and letting him get away. If a woman gets beaten by her husband there will be other women telling her they would never get into that situation, how could you?!(aka, you are stupid)
 

gisela

Super Moderator
I think and hope sincerely that there are also women who would aid and try to protect and support another woman in an abusive relationship. I don't know anyone who would call a beaten up woman "stupid"! They probably exist but I hope I will never have such "friends".
 
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Caroline_afifi

New member
Yes, men kill more then women in general, they will also aim more for physical injury then women.

But to say us women have nothing to do with that is naive IMO.
Firstly, I dont recall anyone saying this, and secondly.. you think women want to be oppressed and it is their fault?
 
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Shakti

New member
http://http://www.marieclaire.com/world-reports/news/international/gulabi-gang-poor-indian-women

This is a link about a group of women standing up to abuse and corrution. They are In Uttar Pradesh, India near Agra and Varanasi. I have visited India many times and my Husband is from India. Put on your pink sari!

To keep yourself from abuse read the book Why Does He do That? by Lundy Bancroft.

Women should stick together and it is a shame when they backstab and manipulate. IN the BD community I have seen lawsuits and all kinds of crappy things but mostly nice people. I feel that BD'ers are among the most liberated women in the world, but at the same time our art form stems from an area of the world that women are the most repressed. I think it is an act of divinty that we are drawn to this art, because more than ever before outsiders are interested in mid east art forms. Artists tell the real human experiences. Okay, i did not intend to get all Deepak Chopra on everyone! haha
 
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Rania

New member
You know what I think?! Us woman, should stick together, not judge, look down on or be jealous of each other. Woman need to be each others best freind, help one another, tell each other they are beautiful and be supportive. Therefore, we can help woman in abusive situations, and/or woman who feel bad about them selves.

I know many girls, do support each other, and lend a helping hand,

but any catty girls out there need to learn to be nice, because it destroys womans repution and sisterhood that could have existed.
 

Greek Bonfire

Well-known member
You know what I think?! Us woman, should stick together, not judge, look down on or be jealous of each other. Woman need to be each others best freind, help one another, tell each other they are beautiful and be supportive. Therefore, we can help woman in abusive situations, and/or woman who feel bad about them selves.

I know many girls, do support each other, and lend a helping hand,

but any catty girls out there need to learn to be nice, because it destroys womans repution and sisterhood that could have existed.
I agree. So many times I've seen a beautiful woman walk into a room, and immediately other women start cackling like a bunch of hens, saying "who does she think SHE is?" without knowing a thing about her. OTOH, I've seen women who were not model perfect, and some other beautiful women start making fun of them because they do not fit their "beauty ideal." What a crock! Do you know there is a meet-up group of guys who love women that a big? There are a lot of guys who belong to it! But the main issue here is so what about someone's looks? Isn't it the heart that is supposed to be more important?
 

Rania

New member
I agree. So many times I've seen a beautiful woman walk into a room, and immediately other women start cackling like a bunch of hens, saying "who does she think SHE is?" without knowing a thing about her. OTOH, I've seen women who were not model perfect, and some other beautiful women start making fun of them because they do not fit their "beauty ideal." What a crock! ?
It does goes both ways, thats exactly what i was saying! ;) i knew one woman that was what many would consider a perfect ten in the looks department! Other woman would litterly hated her guts, before even knowing her name or anything about her. funny thing is that very same person would shun girls that wanted to be her freind that she thought could not compare to her "beauty" :rolleyes:

Do you know there is a meet-up group of guys who love women that a big? There are a lot of guys who belong to it! But the main issue here is so what about someone's looks? Isn't it the heart that is supposed to be more important?
yes i have heard that. what do you think of that group? i know your petite from your pics, greekbonfire,

Im guessing plus size girls, would be happy about it. but then again i could be totally wrong. I know I would would like it if their was groups of men that worshiped small chested girl like myself ;)
 
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Shakti

New member
Yes it is true some guys do love BBW"S! And they should -they are beautiful.

I have been both in my life the stick figure and while not a plus size, being a size 14 I do see the difference in the way i am treated. At a size 14 you are more invisible, no one tries to check you out/ or judge you, which was uncomfortable when it used to happen all the time in thinner times. I do not love my weight now but I do love my self and feel comfotable in my skin.

Thin: people stare all the time, weird guys want your phone number at clubs, girls are quite mean. My friends were always guys, gay and straight,& older women who had lived a little. Girls my own age were meaner then also. It never bothered me though, an ugly heart shines just as bright as an ugly face; their bitterness at their lack of good looks was more repulsive than their averageness.. The movie Cinderella always made me feel better.
 

Farasha Hanem

New member
I agree. So many times I've seen a beautiful woman walk into a room, and immediately other women start cackling like a bunch of hens, saying "who does she think SHE is?" without knowing a thing about her. OTOH, I've seen women who were not model perfect, and some other beautiful women start making fun of them because they do not fit their "beauty ideal." What a crock! Do you know there is a meet-up group of guys who love women that a big? There are a lot of guys who belong to it! But the main issue here is so what about someone's looks? Isn't it the heart that is supposed to be more important?
You're right, Bonfire, and your statement that I bolded for emphasis is one of my biggest pet peeves, making assumptions about a person or group of persons, and it doesn't just happen to beautiful women or homely women. One day, I was standing outside of the library waiting on my ride home. Two girls, probably in their late teens or early 20's, were sitting on the bench against the building, talking, laughing, and enjoying each other's company. I turned around and smiled at them, because they seemed like very nice young women, and their happiness sort of spilled over on me, I guess you could say.

Then, an older woman came out of the library, took one look at the two young girls, and started yelling at them, telling them they ought to be ashamed of themselves, and accusing them of being troublemakers. I stood there in utter shock---she didn't know the girls, and the girls certainly didn't know her.

The two girls were dressed in black, had facial piercings, and Kool-Aid colored hair.

That shouldn't have made any difference at all. Everyone has feelings, and no matter if you're female, male, old, young, it doesn't matter what skin color you have or what country you're from, and it doesn't matter if you dress conservatively or Goth: everyone has the same inborn need to be loved, accepted, and to know that their life has value.

Anyway, to finish my story: the girls became understandably angry, and yelled back. I'm sure I must have looked stupid, because I was still too dumbfounded at the way the older lady had started jumping on two people she'd never met before. I wish now I'd come to my senses long enough to remind her of that old saying, "You can't judge a book by its' cover." I was still in shock when a van pulled up to pick up the young women, and the older lady shuffled back into the library.

The older woman should have known better not to pass judgment on young people. I bet when she was young, she didn't always dress conventionally. I'm nearly 50, and am known to dress "weird" every now and then! XD

My husband is a factory worker, and sometimes he used to run into a store after getting off work to pick up some last-minute something-or-other. He's gotten so many hateful stares from store workers because he would be dirty after a hard day's work. He got so sick of it that he no longer shops right after work.

I hope I haven't strayed too far off-topic. My point is, there are hateful people in all categories, just as there are good, kind people in all categories. True, different groups of people can and do display certain characteristics. For instance, men tend to "look at the whole picture," while women pay attention to details, but even then, there are exceptions. Be that as it may, it's so easy to cubbyhole people into stereotypes.

Perhaps it should be said that a person, no matter who it is, can be his or her own worst enemy. No matter who we are, we have the potential to harm ourselves, either physically, emotionally, or mentally, and the potential to hurt our relationships with others, which in the end, hurts ourselves.

Yet the bright thing in all this is that we also have the potential for much good. It's the choice that each of us has to make every moment of our lives.
 
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Nejmeh

New member
@gisela: I was in a abusive relationship, I had several girls call me stupid to my face and weak. Strangely enough those girls only talked afterwards, not while I was still with the bastard. Same goes for most of the girls in my supportgroup at that time, they had the same experience. Ofcourse there are women who did help me, luckily, but the fact that those girls started....well thats what I mean with the initial statement.

@caroline: sorry, you did not say that, you are right. It came across like that with me, but I should have read better. I absolutely don`t think women want to be abused, but I do think other women sometimes enable it.

Rania, Gb and Farasha; Those are the things I mean! Those situations! Women as a group could be so strong and we keep being weakened by a couple of arrogant girls who think only of themselves. Who think they get bigger if they make others smaller. I think those girls are more dangerous for our 'sisterhood' then men.
 
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