Bellydance Limericks

Darshiva

Moderator
I'd like your permission to print that out as one of the handouts at my stall at a community market in a week's time. I was thinking of giving it the title "The Ballad of the Whiskey Hips" unless you had a title you use for it. Of course it will be printed with full credit (pm me if you'd like real name credit rather than Duvet)
 

Ælfscine

New member
From the Siblings Ælf

Okay.... Here is our contribution to the silliness


There once was a Witch dancer named Icy
Who was cool and hot and spicy
With her long tassel of hair
And her black magic flare
She has captured my heart very ni-Icyly.

Look at my avatar and you may understand this better.


I don't care what anyone thinks,
I'm in love with a redheaded minx.
And if it's her notion
To stir up emotion
Then I'll get both the place and the drinks

The Siblings Ælf
 
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Duvet

New member
I'd like your permission to print that out as one of the handouts at my stall at a community market in a week's time. I was thinking of giving it the title "The Ballad of the Whiskey Hips" unless you had a title you use for it. Of course it will be printed with full credit (pm me if you'd like real name credit rather than Duvet)
Thanks Darshiva. Yes you can distribute it, and I like the title; although just plain 'Whisky Hips' sounds better to me. Flattered.
 

Darshiva

Moderator
I prefer my title, but it's your limerick and thus your title is going on my handout. I hope it gets as good a laugh as I gave it. :)
 

Duvet

New member
I'd like your permission to print that out as one of the handouts at my stall at a community market in a week's time. I was thinking of giving it the title "The Ballad of the Whiskey Hips" unless you had a title you use for it. Of course it will be printed with full credit (pm me if you'd like real name credit rather than Duvet)
Thanks for your PM, Darshiva. My PMs won't let me send you a message, so I've said it here instead!
 

Darshiva

Moderator
Thanks Duvet. I had a look at my inbox and it's pretty sparse, so I don't know why you're unable to send me a pm.

In case anyone was wondering, Duvet's mega limerick was a huge hit at the Markets a week ago.
 
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Duvet

New member
The bellydancer we booked has appeared,
But this stag-night is gonna be weird.
I thought she’d be slim,
Young, buxom and trim…
Not a bald headed bloke with a beard!!
 
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Duvet

New member
My friend has invented new terms
For each bellydance move that she learns.
So she brazzles and swaves
Does limburve cascades
And shamels and shmoons as she turns.

These words you yourself might not use,
But the image they paint will amuse.
You can guess what she means
Or invent your own scenes.
Either way, they’re good visual cues.
 
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Duvet

New member
I’ve been dancing for seventeen years
And its time I addressed all my fears.
I’ll go pro! Show my belly!
Start to teach! Get on telly!!
And ignore the advice of my peers.
 
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Duvet

New member
A dancer with steps bold and certain
Emerged from behind the stage curtain,
But failed to observe
The cut and the curve
Of the footlights, and went for a Burton!
 

Duvet

New member
My teacher’s advice I long scorned.
Bad technique was what I performed.
But today on the stage
I heard someone rage;
“You’re under arrest! You were warned!”

Then I noticed this loud mouthed show stopper
Had a truncheon and handcuffs all proper
Diamonte encrusted.
Good Lord! I’ve been busted
By a well equipped Bellydance copper!!
 

Duvet

New member
Oh teacher, my brain it is hurtin’
These moves I find most disconcertin’.
My hips I put there,
But my arms - they go where?
And my weight distribution’s uncertain!

Oh student, please stop calculating.
Just free style to my formulating:
Melt into the style,
Keep firm all the while,
And think about not concentrating!
 
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Zorba

"The Veiled Male"
A Belly Dancer whose skin was so pale
That she had to hide behind her veil
Said the sound guy Dan,
'Forget about a tan
People who don't like you should be in jail!'
 

Duvet

New member
Oh doctor, please can you prescribe me
With potions and pills that will find me
Awakened next day
My pains gone away
And my body lean, healthy and lively?

Oh patient, your hopes are bizarre.
Beyond my credentials by far.
But here, what I’ll do
Is prescribe this for you -
Six weeks at a Bellydance Spa.
 

Duvet

New member
In dance I embody ‘the other’.
I connect to The Ancestral Mother.
So I’ll go to the East
(For a fortnight at least),
And my spiritual path I’ll discover.

So I booked up a flight and arrived
In a mystical Eastern seaside.
And I searched through the streets
Seeking dancers to meet,
‘Oh where are my sisters!’ I cried.

I wandered the souks and bazaars,
Looked in cafes and small coffee bars.
Asked each woman I met
“Do you dance?” - I regret
Their answer was ‘No!’!’ That was hard.

But at last I encountered a dancer,
At the Hotel Nile ‘All Night Bonanza’.
Dressed in sequins and glitz,
I just hugged her to bits
And explained how her dance was The Answer!

I felt we had spiritually wed!
But she listened, and then shook her head,
Took my arms off her waist
And retreated with haste.
Then paused, turned a moment, and said:

“I don’t get all your mystical magic;
How dance makes your soul feel ecstatic.
I do it from need,
My stomach to feed.
No dance and I starve; and that’s tragic.”

Oh how could my sister be blind
To the spiritual source she could find?
My dance makes me whole.
Its food for the soul!
Her comments were clearly unkind.

As I travelled back home on my flight,
I pondered the following plight:
How the natives don’t seem
To get what I mean.
It's their dance, but surely I'm right?
 
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Duvet

New member
An impoverished dancer from Maine,
Who hadn’t a cent to her name,
Found living was stressful,
But dancing quite blessfull
And through it found fortune and fame.
 

Duvet

New member
A teacher in bellydance class
Slipped over and fell on her ass.
But her pride was intact,
For she knew for a fact
That the worse they would do was just laugh.
 
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