New here, just starting belly dance

LadyLoba

New member
Hello...I'm new to both this site and belly dance. Im 35, single, straight, no kids, one cat, work as a writer for a small social services organization. Other than belly dance I am interested in language arts, criminology, sociology, and politics and religion (to discuss and compare not argue), history, and theatre.

I think I'm going to go for Tribal/Fusion style but I don't know enough about belly dance yet to determine what I like best.

I am a huge Shakira fan...also like Amira from Las Vegas from what I've seen.
 

Greek Bonfire

Well-known member
Welcome to the world of bellydance. There are so many dancers to see and discover as well as many styles - it is mind boggling!
 

LadyLoba

New member
Thanks guys!

I forgot I had an account here! I have one at another belly dance site, and I was posting there a lot...but in one post, I used a word that means nothing bad at all in the US...but means a very bad thing in the UK...and instead of just saying "Hey did you know that word means this?" and giving me a chance to say "I am so sorry. I had no idea and meant no offense" and edit it...some people started basically lecturing me and "online yelling" at me over it! And then when I took offense at being yelled at, they started in on me more. It got to the point where little "digs" and admonishments were inserted in other threads...to the point that I was afraid to read anything anyone responded to me out of fear that it would be something else mean. I tried shifting the subject and joking around...at my own expense...they kept at me. I tried just bringing up a new topic....more harassment. I tried opening up to people...just gave them more fuel....when it got to the point that I was literally begging people to stop....I decided to come find another place to connect with others who are in to belly dance...

I just hope I'm not a complete pest....my level is VERY beginner...and I'm not exactly a graceful swan by nature....so anyone who will answer me might get treated to a round of "I STILL can't do this!" If I get annoying, or I want so much info that it becomes "teaching" and I owe you money...please...let me know :cool:
 

Greek Bonfire

Well-known member
I forgot I had an account here! I have one at another belly dance site, and I was posting there a lot...but in one post, I used a word that means nothing bad at all in the US...but means a very bad thing in the UK...and instead of just saying "Hey did you know that word means this?" and giving me a chance to say "I am so sorry. I had no idea and meant no offense" and edit it...some people started basically lecturing me and "online yelling" at me over it! And then when I took offense at being yelled at, they started in on me more. It got to the point where little "digs" and admonishments were inserted in other threads...to the point that I was afraid to read anything anyone responded to me out of fear that it would be something else mean. I tried shifting the subject and joking around...at my own expense...they kept at me. I tried just bringing up a new topic....more harassment. I tried opening up to people...just gave them more fuel....when it got to the point that I was literally begging people to stop....I decided to come find another place to connect with others who are in to belly dance...

I just hope I'm not a complete pest....my level is VERY beginner...and I'm not exactly a graceful swan by nature....so anyone who will answer me might get treated to a round of "I STILL can't do this!" If I get annoying, or I want so much info that it becomes "teaching" and I owe you money...please...let me know :cool:
I know which forum you are talking about. There are a lot of blood baths over there, which is why I no longer am on there. And there is no supervision either, unlike here. And I was almost an Ultimate Bhuzzer! But I just quit. Nowadays I just lurk. Life is too short.
 

LadyLoba

New member
I'm sorry to hear it sounds like you got some of that too....yeah...at first I blamed myself and beat myself up over it, but then I realized that it was just the overall tone and mood of the site, and had little to nothing to do with me. To be fair...there are a LOT of really nice women on that site...it was just that they were letting about 10 people out of the hundreds basically "follow" me around and treat me cruelly...when I did nothing but ask not to be spoken to like a child. (and for the record, I did apologize for the word that is unoffensive in my culture but offensive in theirs...as I would have avoided it altogether had I known).

I do have to amend the "I hate to be spoken to like a child" statement here though....when it comes to belly dance terms/styles/ moves....I will not be offended at all....I have a background in Theatre, but Dance is 100% new to me....I took a few lessons here and there in other forms as a child...that's it...so all the experts on here...you might need to explain things to me like you would to a little kid...otherwise I might not follow! :D
 

Greek Bonfire

Well-known member
I'm sorry to hear it sounds like you got some of that too....yeah...at first I blamed myself and beat myself up over it, but then I realized that it was just the overall tone and mood of the site, and had little to nothing to do with me. To be fair...there are a LOT of really nice women on that site...it was just that they were letting about 10 people out of the hundreds basically "follow" me around and treat me cruelly...when I did nothing but ask not to be spoken to like a child. (and for the record, I did apologize for the word that is unoffensive in my culture but offensive in theirs...as I would have avoided it altogether had I known).

I do have to amend the "I hate to be spoken to like a child" statement here though....when it comes to belly dance terms/styles/ moves....I will not be offended at all....I have a background in Theatre, but Dance is 100% new to me....I took a few lessons here and there in other forms as a child...that's it...so all the experts on here...you might need to explain things to me like you would to a little kid...otherwise I might not follow! :D
Yes, most of them are pretty nice. But you don't always have to agree, yet the bashing I see sometimes over there is not to my liking. I don't agree with everything everybody says here either, but when I am corrected by others who have more knowledge, that is the end of it, and then we move on. I'll take my lumps but only when I deserve them, but to keep beating a dead horse is sick.
 

LadyLoba

New member
That's how I am too...if the correction or the response is reasonable and offered in a respectful tone....I welcome it...it is the disrespectful tones and phrasing and the constant going at someone that I don't like. I'm new here, but in reading I only saw it once...and the person got banned for that behavior.

It's not unique to belly dance forums or chats though....I've been in chat rooms for health issues only to find 50 people logged in, and only the ten most unpleasant individuals actually talking....

though it will be a LOOOOONNG time before I'll be any help when it comes to bellydance...well, maybe asking questions every other new dancer was too embarrassed to ask :)
 

Aniseteph

New member
IMO anyone can be helpful if they come with the right attitude and are prepared to listen to advice. Anyone can spark off interesting discussions with things they've heard or seen.

It's the ones who don't know how little they know, and insist that everyone else knows as little as they do... :rolleyes:. Oh yeah, and the fangurls expecting everyone to faint with admiration of whoever, then doing the jellus h8r routine when people won't.

I don't know quite what happened over there, but I do know that once things go to PMs, posts get deleted or edited, and issues get splattered over several threads it gets very difficult to keep track. People get skewed views over who is saying what, what so&so is referring to, who said that... and either deliberately or inadvertently add to the mess... AAARGH! By that stage you are basically in a big hole and trying to dig your way out and explain just looks over-defensive and results in more splatterage.
 

LadyLoba

New member
Yep! That's the "anything you say is going to be wrong,then if you say the opposite that will be wrong too" point :lol:

The saddest is when the whole room/site turns on one person and makes them the sort of "room/site" enemy. That hasn't happened to me personally...but I've seen it...and I always feel so bad for the person
 

Farasha Hanem

New member
I just hope I'm not a complete pest....my level is VERY beginner...and I'm not exactly a graceful swan by nature....so anyone who will answer me might get treated to a round of "I STILL can't do this!" If I get annoying, or I want so much info that it becomes "teaching" and I owe you money...please...let me know :cool:
Oh, haaaaaaay, don't feel bad---I am the QUEEN of Klutz, dance or otherwise! XD :lol: And I work in electronics! :confused: Seriously, though, even though I have 3 years of classes under my fringed belt now and have started my fourth year, I have trouble; I have no previous dance background, and really am a klutz! It doesn't matter, though, I'm having the most fun I've ever had, and I'm sure you'll do well. :)

As for your experience on the other forum, I am awfully sorry. Anyone can make a mistake, and one should be given the chance to apologize, and once accepted, the matter should be dropped.

This forum is wonderful, and has many members here who are not only knowledgeable, but also very kind and helpful. Never be afraid to ask a question, because having the willingness to learn will undoubtedly result in not only educational growth, but personal growth, too. :)

Again, welcome to the forum! *hugs!* :D
 

LadyLoba

New member
awwww thank you! Yeah...thats all I wanted "over there" a chance to correct myself and say "oops" and "sorry" without being attacked...it seems like people would do that here...they've been gentle so far, even with the belly dance explanations...very nice people.

I love belly dance! You guys always look so graceful onstage...
 

Amulya

Moderator
Welcome to the forum!

Speaking of the other forum: I am an Ultimate Bhuzzer, but I nearly never post! I just can't stand the atmosphere. It used to be a much nicer forum long ago, that's how I got that title, been on there for years. Moderators are very important (ahum hehe) to keep things nice on forums.
 

Belly Love

New member
Hi LadyLoba! I'm pretty new here too (3 weeks?). There is so much you can learn here and many of ladies are super helpful.

I know exactly what you mean about people lashing out at you for not liking what you said (I'm dealing with that right now :rolleyes: ) You should feel free to say what you like here, and if someone else doesn't have the decency to just talk with you about it instead of attacking you, just move on. It's their issue, not yours.

Anyway, welcome back :)
 

LadyLoba

New member
The moderators here do indeed do an excellent job. I had the bhuz site owner take my whole profile and everything with me in it down, and then just re-started my account so that the few people I made friends with there who are not also here can get in touch with me...I doubt I'll post there either.

People here are really nice....sure...sometimes people disagree...but I've so far never seen a case where anyone was skewered for disagreeing with someone else, or not given a chance to edit or clarify what they said...


My compliments to the moderators and admins! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
 
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