Sex and Sensuality

Moon

New member
The problem a lot of GP doesn't see or understand that true sexuality. They think sexy = looking hot and showing a lot of skin and making facial expressions like you're extremely sexually exited, like:
YouTube - Zumre'ce
 

jenc

New member
The problem a lot of GP doesn't see or understand that true sexuality. They think sexy = looking hot and showing a lot of skin and making facial expressions like you're extremely sexually exited, like:
YouTube - Zumre'ce
I don't think I've seen anything quite that scary in a long time - although I thought that it wasn't so much sexy expression as inability to move her lips with all that collagen. And those tits REALLY scared me. I think that style of "BD" can best be summed up as Stepford Mistress:lol:
 

Aisha Azar

New member
Dance

The problem a lot of GP doesn't see or understand that true sexuality. They think sexy = looking hot and showing a lot of skin and making facial expressions like you're extremely sexually exited, like:
YouTube - Zumre'ce


Dear Moon,
I beg to differ. I never underestimate the intelligence or the savvy of the general public, who really seem to appreciate a good dancer, sexuality and all, from my experience. ( This is a comment on general. Of course there might very will be a jerk in the mix now and gain, but for the most part, I love and respect my audiences.
Regards,
A'isha
 
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Caroline_afifi

New member
I don't think I've seen anything quite that scary in a long time - although I thought that it wasn't so much sexy expression as inability to move her lips with all that collagen. And those tits REALLY scared me. I think that style of "BD" can best be summed up as Stepford Mistress:lol:
Which brings me back to that point again on 'who decides what is sexy and what is TRUE sexuality' etc etc.
I can hear alot of what seems like flowery langage here but I still havent got an angle on it.
Thanks for your honest opinion. I think perhaps yout average fella might disagree with you though ;)
 

Aisha Azar

New member
Sexuality

True sexuality is what is left AFTER the fantasy has disipated, when she is no longer moving like that, in that outfit, etc. True sexuality leeches out of people when they are not putting that much effort into it. And I did not find her scary in the least.
Regards,
A'isha
 

da Sage

New member
If "sexuality" is everywhere and in everything, it kind of loses its punch as a defining part of bellydance.
 

Moon

New member
Well, I know not the entire audience thinks like that, but it worries me how many people do. Probably because young people learn from mtv and such that that is what "sexy" is :rolleyes:.
 

Aisha Azar

New member
Dance

If "sexuality" is everywhere and in everything, it kind of loses its punch as a defining part of bellydance.


Dear daSage,
I don't think so for one reason. People are used to seeing the outer, superficial sexuality that is passed off so often as the real thing, but they do not often see gut level, visceral sexuality. It is a very scary kind of power on some levels, and when a good belly dancer gets on stage and actually SHOWS this quality within herself to the world, it is like revealing an almost forbidden or secret thing. Like I said in a flowery way earlier, people are far more likely to show you their skin than they are their souls, and truly great belly dancers go a bit deeper than the costume they are wearing or a phony smile and hot body. They get to the meat of the matter rather than the skin alone. I think this is the the real mystique of the dance. Comparing superficial sexuality with the deeper thing is like the difference between a Hershey Bar and Sees Chocolates. Both are chocolate, but one has SSSOOO much more to offer than the other.
Regards,
A'isha
 

Moon

New member
The real thing was so much better Brea! :lol: There's nothing better than sharing that special, intimate moment with someone you truely and deeply love.

Hmmm makes me think that could be a reason why I love to watch Maria Aya dance to Alf Leyla w Leyla... or Fifi Abdo doing saidi.
Some kind of deep love the dancer shares with the music that makes the se(n)(x)uality real and beautiful and anything but sleazy.

A'isha, I loved the comparison with chocolate ;)
 

adiemus

New member
This is a GREAT discussion!! even the digressions are fascinating (my cat would eat any mouse daring to show its face with or without toys...)

I love the things A'isha has said - over and again I think the more emotionally open a dancer is (in any form of dance) the more sensual and vulnerable he or she is. And children and young people learn their attitudes from what they see around them - for me this means when my kids were little I had no trouble discussing with them how babies were made (in language they could understand), and as they've grown older they've learned more and become more discerning about when and where it's reasonable to talk about sexuality. So it's never been a 'closed' subject for us, because I really wanted them to learn openness and honesty around sex and relationships and sensuality. And if they've shown what I thought to be inappropriate behaviour or attitudes, I've asked them to either take themselves off to their room for privacy, or we've talked.
So...what this means is if a kid is watching dancing that is sensual, bellydancing or any other form of dance, then it's OK to talk with them about how they feel about it, and what's OK in terms of their behaviour and attitudes. I feel proud of my sensuality and my sexuality, but I'm not prepared to share my sexuality with everyone - and that's fine for me. And if someone is irritated with my dance because they feel I'm overtly sexual (ie I step over their line of what is reasonable), I need to think firstly about respect for myself: do I feel I've overstepped the mark? then about respect for others - if they're offended, would it be appropriate to tone down what I do out of respect for them? in this context only...of course!
I really think honesty and communication go a long way - in the case of the person who was dancing in a skimpy costume that was discussed a few posts back, perhaps it would be OK to say 'I don't feel comfortable with your costume, and it wouldn't be respectful to some people here to wear it, could you think about covering up a little?'. And in the case of people who were offended, perhaps it would be OK to say 'This woman really enjoys her body and her dance, I wonder if you could respect her freedom to do so, and think about what bothers you about it?'
 

Tarik Sultan

New member
I really like what A'isha has to say here. I think that's very true: real sexuality is AFTER the dance. I read somewhere recently that Paris Hilton said her boyfriends tell her she's 'sexy' but not 'sexual'...I think it means the plastic image as compared to the soul, as A'isha says. I also agree that it is a powerful thing- real life, not the plastic image.

For instance, how many of you have had "pretty sex" like they have in the movies? Where everything looks perfect and everyone moves perfectly and nobody's makeup gets smudged?
:wall: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WAS SUPPOSED TO WEAR MAKEUP, SO THAT'S WHAT WAS MISSING! Seriously though. This is exactly what I think and teach my students, but as I said before, I consider this sensuality. Its the energy that fuels the thing. I also call it authentic beauty. Its an energy we all have, but not everyone is in touch with. Authentic beauty will never age, get fat, cellulite, wrinkles. I'm sure we've all experienced being in the presence of someone who was not externally beautiful by conventional standards, but they radiated an energy that makes them totally captivating.
And its not like they're trying to come one to anyone or putting it out there. Its just something that ozzes of of every pore, like a perfume, it's just there, even if they're gray haired and wrinkled. It's just a vitality.

The problem is, as someone said before, that far too many people are caught up in the media driven idea of what's sexy. I see so many women in the clubs wearing next to nothing, but they're not sexy, or the ones with killer bodies, but in bed they have the personalities of blow up dolls. When
I was younger, like most guys, I was attracted to the prettiest face biggest boobs etc because I thought that was what sexy was. Now that I'm older and wiser, I know the difference, but it still pains me to see how many people still don't get it.

One of my biggest disappointments was seeing Lucy for the first time in 15yrs. It was obvious that she had gotten plastic surgery to her lips, cheeks and god knows what else. She looked like a Latin drag queen, but worse of all, she'd gotten cantaloup sized implants. Same thing when I saw Hanady. Her boobs were so huge the skin was so tight I could see the veins in them. So you ask yourself, why would beautiful women do this to themselves? Then you look at all the media coming out of Lebanon and Turkey and you see why. Everyone has implants, everyone has tit jobs, so they feel in order to compete they have to do the same thing. So while those of us who are more mature and understanding know the difference, there are still too many out there who don't and quite often they put pressure on the rest of us to conform to an artificial standard which is nothing more than a distortion of the real thing. A mannequin as versus a real person.
 

Aisha Azar

New member
Dance and moveent

For the most part, the GP doesn't know a thing about this dance and would prefer to watch someone unskilled but with the 'look' bounce around onstage than anything else. They also seem to have a preference for females.


Dear Brea,
While I do notice that the general public USUALLY prefers female dancers, and this includes Arab audiences as well, I have not noticed that they necessarily prefer dancers with "The Look" as you call it. I think they can recognize skill and ability when they see it, and have had many experiences as an older, fatter dancer that prove this out. Another issue here is that there are plenty of young, beautiful dancers who dance really, really well, and I think that even the general audience will see that they are talented as opposed to either fat/homely or beautiful/thin people who are just wearing the costume. It is not about fat, thin, beautiful, homely, or any of those things. In the end, even the fattest, homliest dancer can still have "It". I have seen this more than once, and crowds respond very positively to it. Of course, there is the occasional person who does not have two brain cells to knock together to form a thought, who responds only to superficial attributes, but that is not the "general public" I know for the most part.
Regards,
A'isha
Regards,
A'isha
 

Reen.Blom

New member
Geez I have not read it all, just the first page,
big hugs and thank you to:
Salome
Adiemus
Jenc

Love ya all!
 
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