Snubbed in Bellydance

gypsyroze

New member
I should have asked this question a long time ago, but I guess now is as good as then.

When I went to the Rachel Brice workshop in February of last year, I met dancers from all over. I did notice how there seemed to be gossip about any or all dancers, from the good, the bad and the down right ugly.

My question is; What do bellydancers do when they find themselves unpopular, or snubbed? And if this is the case, just how forgiving is the bellydance world?

Also, what do you ladies think of unpopular dancers? WOuld you ever give them a second chance for whatever infraction they have made? Even if it were intentional or unintentional? And finally, since this dance is dominated by women, I want to know, do you ladies think that we as women, are as unforgiving as we are portrayed in literature and in film?
 

Lydia

New member
snubbed in bellydance

Hi Gypsirose i think that gossip and bad talk is just a human thing it happens everywhere not only in the bellydance world,you cant knock it how ever you try and whatever you try i think people will always gossip ...if it is not about your dancing it,s about your color,or background or ????? i think you can not do much realy,when people say things about me that are not nice i usely pretend that i dont know what they say ,and give them my extra nice side!!That usely makes them feel bad in the end...that they talked about me in the first place....if it is realy bad i will adres them about it do.....i dont know if anybody feels unpopulair?? that has nothing to do with gossip i geuss that feeling must come from your inside and you have to work on that so you feel better about yourself.....people use to talk bad about me when i was a child i because my background and i got lots of bad looks and bad words that verry much continued when i became a adult for the same reason....it only got worse when i became a bellydancer!! i use to feel bad and left out...but now beeing who i am i dont care what people say ,because i know myself and when i look in the mirror and look at myself i mean from the inside i like myself i like who i am ,i like what i did and do in life,how i treat others,and what i have achieved ...so who cares what the world say??? just be yourself if you are confident nothing realy matters ,you make sure you do the correct thing in life ..beside that what is good for my life is perhaps not good for your life.... so just live the life you think is best for you,it is your life and let them gossip......in Holland there is a saying ,,ze kunnen beter van je praten dan van je eten,, it means it is better that they talk about you than eat from you!! Have a great day Lydia
 

chryssanthi sahar

New member
Dear Gypsirose.

Lydia is right, gossip is not only typical for belly dancers, but you will find it everywhere, especially among artists of all kind. I heard for example that concurrence and gossip are lot more extreme among ballet dancers and even worse among opera singers. But I saw some very bad things also among martial artists (fortunately I was not involved myself), where the concurrence went so far, that they started beating each other, in order to prove that their fight system was better than that of the other.
So just ignore those things and concentrate on the actual subject, the dance. And you will always find people with who you get along and whose motives are similar like yours, this means, the love for the dance:D
 

Anatoliy

Administrator
Staff member
I saw some very bad things also among martial artists (fortunately I was not involved myself), where the concurrence went so far, that they started beating each other, in order to prove that their fight system was better than that of the other.
The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite! Fight, and find out who is number one. :lol:
 

chryssanthi sahar

New member
The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite! Fight, and find out who is number one. :lol:
Well, it was almost something like this:lol: There were Wing Tsung and Ving Chung people:rolleyes: Actually it is the same martial art, based on traditional Chinese Kung Fu, but modified so that it can be used for the "street" (for realistic fighting situations). They only have different grand masters and they haven been trying for years to prove each other, than the own master is better. Of course they will never convince each other:rolleyes:
I was involved with martial arts for about 10 years, and I tell you: I saw, heard and experienced myself such crazy things as about concurrence etc, that now I consider the belly dance community to be paradise. Harmony, peace and sisterhood/brotherhood pure:lol:
 

belly_dancer

New member
Well, it was almost something like this:lol: There were Wing Tsung and Ving Chung people:rolleyes: They only have different grand masters and they haven been trying for years to prove each other, than the own master is better. Of course they will never convince each other:rolleyes:
yeah that happened in our town.... heard thru the grapevine that there was a "war" btwn me & another teacher... we had always been civil towards one another, but not as close as previous... she was getting a bit distant... when I finally made her talk to me abt it (at first she didn't want to.... but finally opened up!) it turns out that it was mostly students participating in the "war", hopefully us "grand masters" know better!!!!!
also it was interesting, she admitted being jealous of ME!!! blew me away, she is SUCH a FAB dancer!! w/ way more knowledge..... but I am younger..... which is a sad commentary on our society... it was super good for us to talk though.... & I think that needs to be done, to nip it in the bud!!!... but in our case we were able to have an honest conversation.... I feel very lucky because of that....
one thing that has always helped me.... my grandmother always told me "it is none of your business what other people think about you" which is true, it is THEIR problem,not yours!!!!!
& if you always carry yourself with integrity, your actions will eventually outshine their words!!!!!
 

chryssanthi sahar

New member
one thing that has always helped me.... my grandmother always told me "it is none of your business what other people think about you" which is true, it is THEIR problem,not yours!!!!!
& if you always carry yourself with integrity, your actions will eventually outshine their words!!!!!
Very wise grandmother:D I see it the same way;)
 

slinks

New member
:lol:
Hi Gypsirose i think that gossip and bad talk is just a human thing it happens everywhere not only in the bellydance world,
cave man used to grunt only when danger was around or to get some-ones attention .. words were made up so they could gossip about some-one :lol:
 

Aisha Azar

New member
Dance etc.

Dear Slinks,
The world of belly dance is not for sissies!! Re gossip: I love gossip and am quite the accomplished gossip myself. However, you really want to indulge in such behavior only with your close belly dance friends. Then, next week when you do something to make them mad, they will go to the other dancers you talked about and tell them everything you said plus make up some stuff, but leave out the stuff they said! This cycle repeats itself endlessly nearly as I can tell from the last 33 years.
My second teacher was Jordanian. She said the best thing ever when I complained that other dancers were spreading nasty and untrue gossip about me. She said, "They're talking about you? Who cares what they're saying as long as their talking". That put it in proper perspective. Famous, infamous, whatever!!
Regards,
A'isha
 

belly_dancer

New member
Dear Slinks,
The world of belly dance is not for sissies!! Re gossip: I love gossip and am quite the accomplished gossip myself. However, you really want to indulge in such behavior only with your close belly dance friends. Then, next week when you do something to make them mad, they will go to the other dancers you talked about and tell them everything you said plus make up some stuff, but leave out the stuff they said! This cycle repeats itself endlessly nearly as I can tell from the last 33 years.
My second teacher was Jordanian. She said the best thing ever when I complained that other dancers were spreading nasty and untrue gossip about me. She said, "They're talking about you? Who cares what they're saying as long as their talking". That put it in proper perspective. Famous, infamous, whatever!!
Regards,
A'isha
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEE
my BEST belly dancer friend (who was nearing the end of her dance career, as mine was taknig off) & I used to crack up SOOOOOOO much if we heard SH*% about one of us...... normally I got along w/ everyone (my friend sometimes had issues, but thats a whole nother ball o' wax!!!)...

true story....... one summer day, her 12 yr old daughter (now 19!) was accosted on the street in our (semi) small town..... by another dancer actually YELLING!!!!...... "was "belly_dancer" the reason your mother quit dancing.... she's taking ALL the jobs away from all of us real dancers, blah blah blah".... (back story, 6 months before THIS incident, same woman was (I was told by some of my students) talking SH*# about this very friend, how she was not a "real" dancer because she danced like a "gypsy" & all "gypsies" were whores!!!!! can you f-ing believe it?????? )
anyhow, when this particular dancer started talking about me... I knew I must be getting good...... (hehehehe)
but can you believe her YELLING on the STREET at a child?>???? (& I was this girls "adopted auntie"!!!!!)
after we stopped laughing our asses off.... my friend (briefly) considered pressing charges!!!!! (for harassment against her daughter)
my friend would always say..... if OUR lives are the topic of their conversation, imagine how pathetic THEIR lives must be.....!!!!! (sort of like those people who get ALL excited about a particular TV show....... I would rather LIVE my life than watch a made up (!) one!!!!....) but maybe that is why WE are performers!!!!!!!!
 
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