Would you be offended if your friend made this comment?

lily_raks

New member
Just remember:

Living well is the best revenge.
I won't let her see me down. It is so not worth it. Now, more than feeling bad about it, I am amused. This type of behavior is so middle school. Invite people to a party in front of me and ignore me? Really? No more letting her get to me. I was going to slowly distance myself but I just want nothing to do with her anymore.
 

Stephanie

New member
That sounds like something little kids who don't know better because their parents never told them any better. Everyone with common courtesy knows that either you invite everyone, or invite the individuals you want to invite privately. Definitely not in front of people who aren't invited. :(
 

lily_raks

New member
That sounds like something little kids who don't know better because their parents never told them any better. Everyone with common courtesy knows that either you invite everyone, or invite the individuals you want to invite privately. Definitely not in front of people who aren't invited. :(
Seems like she is making an effort to make it obvious. She asked people to check their schedule and see if the date worked for them to mark the calendar. She unfriended me on FB on both my personal page and my dancing one. I want closure to all of this but I owe her money that I've been trying to pay her but she runs after class and is not responding to my texts or emails. I don't want to owe her but she is making it difficult for me to pay her back by being so obviously unavailable.
 

Aniseteph

New member
Get her at the beginning of class with an "oh before I forget here's that money for..." <shoves envelope at her and moves off before she can get away>. Job done.

I will NEVER understand why grown up women indulge in this sort of gratuitous bad behaviour. OK cat fights where both are constantly digging at each other, that I get. But if someone is not doing anything to you, you only make yourself look bad by behaving badly towards them. Don't they realise that?

Or is the payoff for being mean so important to them that they don't care that everyone thinks "woah, what's HER problem?". I guess it must be. It can't be a nice place to be.
 

lily_raks

New member
Post the woman a cheque. Problem solved.
That would be ideal but I forgot her address. I just know how to get to het house. But I must have it somewhere since I helped her buy stuff online a couple of times. So I will look. That would easily solve.
 

lily_raks

New member
Get her at the beginning of class with an "oh before I forget here's that money for..." <shoves envelope at her and moves off before she can get away>. Job done.

I will NEVER understand why grown up women indulge in this sort of gratuitous bad behaviour. OK cat fights where both are constantly digging at each other, that I get. But if someone is not doing anything to you, you only make yourself look bad by behaving badly towards them. Don't they realise that?

Or is the payoff for being mean so important to them that they don't care that everyone thinks "woah, what's HER problem?". I guess it must be. It can't be a nice place to be.
It is very hard for me to understand this behavior too. And the problem is that I bought something from her from a catalog and she hasn't given me the price. So I took the product and she told me she would give me the price. She isn't even doing that. So I will give her what I think is slightly above the price to avoid having her come back to me. I don't get why it is so difficult to tell me how much I owe her so I can finally pay her. This is for sure not a nice place to be at. Especially since for the past six years I have always looked forward to my class.
 

Aniseteph

New member
I suspect either a) she has forgotten about the money, or b) is fully aware of it and is letting it drag on because it gives her something concrete to feel aggrieved about. :rolleyes:

Yeah, toxic. Avoid. If she's been nasty to you for no good reason she'll probably end up doing it to others in the class sooner or later, and gradually alienating herself.
 

jahbie

New member
If you asked pleasantly "Oh, by the way, I still owe you for .... how much was it?" in front of other people, she would have to say something, wouldn't she?
 

lily_raks

New member
If you asked pleasantly "Oh, by the way, I still owe you for .... how much was it?" in front of other people, she would have to say something, wouldn't she?
I did for the past two weeks but she keeps saying she has to check the catalog price at home so she would call me. She doesn't say that in a rude way but I still don't have an answer. I already insisted a lot and I will just pay her more than what I owe to just close this. I don't see why I have to keep going above and beyond when all I want is to pay what I owe her.
 

Stephanie

New member
I would either a) give her some money, more than what it would have cost or b) forget about it until the time comes if/when she tells you how much you owe her. You've made it clear to everyone that you intend to pay her back; you and everyone around knows you're not a thief and you weren't taking advantage of her, and that's what matters. If she is being flaky about the cost of something she pushed you into buying, that's her problem.
 
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