Dancing at a restaurant: only thin dancers allowed?

[antares]

A friend of mine runs a bellydance school together with three other dancers. Beside teaching they dance at restaurants, haflas, etc. Not long ago, my friend told me the owner of a Greek restaurant where they used to dance said he did not want one of my friend's colleages to dance there. He thought she was too fat. I don't know my friend's colleage personally. But i have seen her in pictures. My friend said she is something between her and me. My friend is very thin, i am a 42 (size 12) So i estimate that the lady of the story would be a size 8 or 10. I woudn't call that fat EVER. But most importantly, what the heck was that man thinking? If this happenned to me, i'd be really offended. What does your weight or bodytype has to do with your abilities as a bellydancer?
Has any of you ever been in a situation like this? or maybe you were not hired to dance at a certain venue and they came up with some reason to explain it, but you suspect it was just because of your bodyweight/shape? How did you manage it?

 

[lizaj]

I think any restaurant owner should be more frightened of the "lean and hungry" belly dancer.
Seriously though ,he is just a victim of current fashion for the slender or rather the uber-slender figure and wants what the media portrays as desirable.
I am afraid no matter how much we protest from your lowliest taverna to Miles Copeland...young and slim and glamorous is what they want.

 

[antares]

Why should they be frightened of the "lean and hungry", will she faint (due to not enough eating) during performance? Lol, just joking.

Seriuosly. I really agree with you. It is really annoying how some people think about beauty .

 

[lizaj]

Why should they be frightened of the "lean and hungry", will she faint (due to not enough eating) during performance? Lol, just joking.

Seriuosly. I really agree with you. It is really annoying how some people think about beauty .

No she might look longingly at the food.

But I agree with you nothing is more irritating than the current obsession with performers including our dancers being ultra thin. I pointed out on another thread how a lovely Russian girl had been told by judges to lose weight and I remember comment about the dancer Sophie Mei on Britain's Got Talent in 2008 being"curvy" as if that were some kind of crime when she was also a gorgeous shape.

As long as a dancer has talent and polish, she should be worthy of hire but sadly it doesn't work like that.

 

[antares]

LOL, I've thought already of that one. Fantastic, you though about it too.... * Double big grin*
You are so right! As long as there is talent and polish, the dancer's size, age, etc. should be unimportant.
People have to rediscover so much about true beauty.....! *sighs*

 

[Ruby~<3]

yes im with everyone else... he sounds like hes only in to the entertainment craze with hot skinny women... and that is just wrong.. because like you said it has nothing to do with a dancers ability....seems to me like he would take a pretty thin girl over an experianced girl... and sound like this woman is not fat at all.. his attitude is bad for a womans mind...this is why somany girls are messed up in the head about their weight.. i wouldnt dance there and i wouldnt let students or anyone else dance there... that is just wrong..

Ruby

 

[candi]

Different restaurants want different things. I've worked in restaturants fat and thin (thin for me-not size 0 by any means about UK size 12). Maybe I've been lucky that nobody has ever complained. Most restaurant owners are just glad I can do the job and entertain the customers. But then nobody would employ me as hot young skinny totty in a skimpy costume. It depends where their focus is.

 

[Jujube]

I don't think there's any such thing as "too fat" to dance at a restaurant. Sure, any dancer should dress appropriately to best accentuate her unique beauty. But the idea of someone being too big to entertain is ludicrous.

 

[da Sage]

I don't think there's any such thing as "too fat" to dance at a restaurant. Sure, any dancer should dress appropriately to best accentuate her unique beauty. But the idea of someone being too big to entertain is ludicrous.

Restaurant work is commercial work just like television and movies. If the television and movie people (who consider themselves "creative") discriminate on the basis of looks, you can expect restaurant owners (who are probably more concerned with culinary quality and creativity than challenging the public's perception of what a bellydancer is) to discriminate even more.

I'm not saying it's right, but I expect there's a good chance a restaurant owner will choose an average dancer (average looks, average dance ability) over a better dancer whose looks might become a topic of debate at the table. Whether that "debatable look" is plumper, thinner, more athletic, tattooed, super pale, lots of moles...if it draws focus from the food and the dancing itself, it makes the dancer who has it slightly less marketable.

 

[maria_harlequin]

It's not just weight/shape that's a problem when you're doing commercial work like dancing in a restaurant. Some places will go as far as to ask what race the dancers are. My teacher has to deal with people calling us all the time, asking for "farangs" (pretty much "gringo" or "white) because they tend to believe that a foreigner will dance better than a Thai. Not being Asian tends to give you more credibility in whatever you do and it's terrible. My teacher's strong though - even though we do have non-Asian dancers at our studio (me included...I'm half, but I look plain white) that are good dancers, she'll turn down gig offers that asks for a certain race or body shape. They're starting to get it now though!

Even though I don't support it, I kind of understand where they're coming from. If you go to a casting for a movie or a commercial, they're going to be looking for a very specific type of actor or actress that's appealing to the general public or for their target audience.

 

[antares]

To a certain extend, i can understand that some restaurant owners would rather have a "good looking" bellydancer. It is showbusiness after all and beauty is nice to look at. But what i find annoying is today's obsession and OVER VALUEING of youth and "conventionally" good looks. It is so short sighted! And a bellydancer is more than just her looks. They shouldn't be so focused on the dancer's shape/race/weight but also take a look at her skills as dancer. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that and this makes me understand why so many women in showbusiness have cosmetic surgery done. Just have to look at a lot of Hollywood stars. They undergo so many operations that they don't look like themselves anymore.

 

[Aniseteph]

I wonder if restaurant owners who think normal size women are too fat to hire are thinking it through - maybe some of them are hiring what they want and playing out some harem fantasy in their heads, rather than thinking what their customers want.

 

[Amulya]

A friend of mine runs a bellydance school together with three other dancers. Beside teaching they dance at restaurants, haflas, etc. Not long ago, my friend told me the owner of a Greek restaurant where they used to dance said he did not want one of my friend's colleages to dance there. He thought she was too fat. I don't know my friend's colleage personally. But i have seen her in pictures. My friend said she is something between her and me. My friend is very thin, i am a 42 (size 12) So i estimate that the lady of the story would be a size 8 or 10. I woudn't call that fat EVER. But most importantly, what the heck was that man thinking? If this happenned to me, i'd be really offended. What does your weight or bodytype has to do with your abilities as a bellydancer?
Has any of you ever been in a situation like this? or maybe you were not hired to dance at a certain venue and they came up with some reason to explain it, but you suspect it was just because of your bodyweight/shape? How did you manage it?

I see you're from The Netherlands, you know what's funny? I have been once criticised by a restaurant owner that I was too thin. I guess no one can never be right

 

[antares]

I agree with you both. I think it has a lot to do with the restaurant owner's own taste and how he thinks a bellydancer "should" look like.
Amulya, i have no doubt the one dancer can hear at one restaurant that she is too fat and in the next one that she is just right or even maybe that she is thin! It has a lot to do with personal taste and the owner's opinion on the matter.
However, it would be nice if their vieuw on the matter was a realistic one . I mean not specific looking for a dancer with a model-like body, but more looking like a real woman

 

[da Sage]

However, it would be nice if their vieuw on the matter was a realistic one . I mean not specific looking for a dancer with a model-like body, but more looking like a real woman

That whole "real woman" bit is going to get you in trouble someday. Just sayin'.

 

[Amulya]

However, it would be nice if their vieuw on the matter was a realistic one . I mean not specific looking for a dancer with a model-like body, but more looking like a real woman

Or who could actually dance :lol: and have a proper costume...

 

[antares]

Or who could actually dance :lol: and have a proper costume...

Of course! My point is that the dancer's skills and quality should be the main thing to consider when looking for a dancer. Looks are not unimportant (it is show business after all) But the dancer should actualy be able to dance at least decently, and not only being selected because of her good looks

 

[CottonAnatomy]

I see you're from The Netherlands, you know what's funny? I have been once criticised by a restaurant owner that I was too thin. I guess no one can never be right

haha I would love to have someone think I was too thin, just once in my life! ha :lol:

 

[AidaBellydance]

Yeahh..

I have experienced that a lot too. Unfortuantely!

I have been performing in restaurants /at parties/ and much more for almost 6 years now. And both the body shape and the dancers origin issue have both been up a lot!
- I am danish, living in Denmark as well and since Im not typical Scandinavian in looks I have serveral times gotten the question, mostly from middle eastern foreigners living here for many years or their grown up-children:
"Ohhh... So you're danish?? But are you sure you know how to do this??"

AND though I haven't been told too many times ( Im about a 40-42, sometimes 44 :think that I'm too voluptious I see/ hear off less well dancing collegues getting the jobs as they're thinner, "artificial improved" here and there AND of foreign or mixed origin..
( OR maybe these women are just more aggressive in their way to get the job?? )

Usually I get complimented for being a "real" woman, from those hiring me, but then sometimes I experience an audience that expect to see a thin girl with plastic boobs - and I must admit I get really offended as they judge only for how much fat I contain. Not looking at the performance at all..
- Others do tell me that it says more of those people than of me so I should not care. But if on one of those "sensitive" days it's kind a hard facing people like that! AND suddently selfconfidence drop a little and the performance get somewhat harder to go through - Though I do this as I really enjoy bringing joy and entertainment to the guests.

But one thing I know wheter the audence is with me or not: I dance/perform really well! But yes Im quite pale and yes Im eating enough and yes its been long since I was seventeen..
BUT I am a dancer from nature (not only for this type of dance but overall..) bodyshape like a Barbiedoll or not!!

Aïda.

Ps. This is my first day in this forum so a big "Hello" to everybody here..:dance:

 

[Pleasantly.Plump]

When I first started belly dancing I was very thin. Since then I have put on a lot of weight. Before you ask its not because I have had a baby or because I have gotten older - its just from laziness.

Anyway, I am about 50lbs fatter than when I started a few years ago and I think I enjoy belly dancing even more. Especially now since I actually have a belly.