Weirdness with private instruction?

[Brea]

Hi all,

A while back I posted that I had been contacted through craigslist to do private instruction for someone's wife. For some reason I had trepidation about accepting (this would be in their home). So I advised the person to go ask one of the local pro dancing schools...he wrote back and informed me they were charging 'significantly higher' rates than I was. This concerned me as I am new to the area and I didn't want to get into trouble pricing my services lower (and also not get as much money as other teachers). Anyway, I thought about it a lot and finally said if I could meet this person's wife prior to instruction at a cafe or something I would be willing to do it. It took the person about a week to write back and offer some cafe in the area as a meeting place. So I wrote back and tacked another $20 on the fee I had originally offered because I knew the area they lived in was quite far. So the person writes back and says that they are happy with the instructor found by the school and will stick with them even though their rates are higher. I was worried about this person from the start for some reason, and now I feel disappointed that I let a possibly lucrative teaching gig pass me by, as the person was apparently legit...but at first I did not believe they were. Any thoughts, condolences, etc? I just don't know what to think about this, or whether I should have even entertained teaching in a stranger's house. This is something new that I have not yet encountered and would appreciate any advice about what to do in such a situation.

 

[karena]

how do you now know this person is legit? they could still be spinning a line. i know precious little to give an real advice, but i think instincts are important.

 

[Azeeza]

Brea:

Seeing as you are in a new area and you don't know the community very well, you did the right thing. Your safety is more important than money or teaching at this point.

Something you could do is to let the customer, who chose another teacher, know that if for some reason things do not work with the other teacher, she could always contact you again and leave it at that.

You should never feel bad about being cautious.

Just my two cents worth,

Azeeza

 

[Aisha Azar]

Weirdness, etc.

Dear Brea,
I believe this is a SCAM. Many of us are getting the same thing. It is not a legitimate offer and somehow they send you a small retainer and you end up in financial trouble.
Regards,
A'isha

 

[Brea]

Hi everyone,

Yes, I did have the sense of 'scam' when I read it..perhaps I was letting my better judgment go because this would have been my first teaching opportunity here. The person claimed to live in the area, etc. and I looked up his name, but I was curious as to why his wife herself would not have contacted me. It was a pretty detailed scam if that was what it was.

How do you know if it is a legitimate question? Anyone can email any of us online.

 

[Aisha Azar]

Recognizing a scam

Hi everyone,

Yes, I did have the sense of 'scam' when I read it..perhaps I was letting my better judgment go because this would have been my first teaching opportunity here. The person claimed to live in the area, etc. and I looked up his name, but I was curious as to why his wife herself would not have contacted me. It was a pretty detailed scam if that was what it was.

How do you know if it is a legitimate question? Anyone can email any of us online.

-Brea

Dear Brea,
What I usually do when anything questionable comes my way, is I ask if anyone else is getting similar offers. Usually this gentleman wants his wife, daughter, niece to take lessons from you while she will be in the area visiting or going to school or some other thing. Also, do not give out anything that might in any way, give someone access to my bank account or other financial numbers such as Social Security card, etc. The way one scam works is they send you a small retainer check, which you then cash, which bounces, but they have some of your financial info on the back of that bounced check when it is returned to them. I am not sure exactly how it works, but someone gave a very detailed explanation on another forum I am on.
Regards,
A'isha

 

[Gia al Qamar]

Brea...you did the right thing. This has scam written all over it. Because you're just starting out as a teacher, it's natural to feel that you need to get EVERY student in your class that you possibly can...but there was no student...so don't feel bad.
AND...in the future...
Know that you'll win some, and lose some...and in the end...it all evens out! You'll make yourself crazy trying to 'do it perfectly' every time!
Gia

 

[Shanazel]

I agree that you dodged a speeding bullet. And to agree to meet a stranger in a strange town in a private home? I wouldn't have even done that accompanied by my favorite biker bodyguard in full leathers. You were smart, Brea. Don't second guess your instincts.

 

[Brea]

Hi all,

To clarify, this isn't my first time teaching, just the first time in the new town. What A'isha speaks of is interesting...I had not heard of that before. In fact, I have never been contacted to do private lessons in that manner. Scams abound in every profession. I am glad you all think I did the right thing...seems the person was a lot more hesitant when I said I wanted to meet his wife in a cafe. I could just be overly paranoid but when you work in a business like ours...

 

[Shanazel]

... just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

 

[chryssanthi sahar]

Dear Brea.

I agree with all the others here, that this thing shouts: SCAAAAAM! Be really really careful if you get another mail of this kind. We had another thread in this forum, where somebody who knows how those cheaters act, explained it with details. I cannot remember the exact description though. The fact is, that many of us here get such mails regularly ( I get at least one per month) and it is always the daughter, son, wife, grandchild etc. who is supposed to want having lessons from you. The best thing is to ignore such mails, otherwise you'll end up loosing money.

 

[belly_dancer]

Hi all,

To clarify, this isn't my first time teaching, just the first time in the new town. What A'isha speaks of is interesting...I had not heard of that before. In fact, I have never been contacted to do private lessons in that manner. Scams abound in every profession. I am glad you all think I did the right thing...seems the person was a lot more hesitant when I said I wanted to meet his wife in a cafe. I could just be overly paranoid but when you work in a business like ours...

-Brea Morgiane

also I wonder.... maybe it was not a financial scam... but some kind of .... I dunno.... "weirdo" .... looking for (at best) a "free" show.... or (at worst) a "victim"..... you can NEVER be too careful with your PERSONAL safety (especially in a NEW town... which makes it even MORE creepy... as in... did he KNOW you were new in town (so you wouldn't be missed???)).... & I do not care how tough you are!!!!!
YOU did the RIGHT thing.... there will ALWAYS be more (& better) opportunities!!!! LISTEN to your inner voice!!!!

 

[Brea]

In toughness I am proud to say I am unequaled. (And I am magnificently arrogant, obviously, at least about that)..but I do agree that 'toughness' only gets you so far. I am glad everyone thinks I did the right thing. There was just something fishy about it and I couldn't quite put my finger on why, but that's why they tell you to trust your gut I suppose!

 

[LeylaLanty]

Brea,
As A'isha and others have said, this had the smell of "scam" or who knows what else. You did the right thing to ask to meet the wife in a public place. When he was hesitant to do that, you were right to run in the opposite direction! Someone approached me via email a few months ago to do the same thing but including his wife and a couple of her female friends with the husbands watching. I kept upping the price and preconditions with each additional request he made over several emails and finally said they "found someone else" or "decided not to do it" or ... whatever ... Congrats on dodging this one!

 

[Aniseteph]

Hi Brea - for info I just found a site with something about this type of scam Belly Dance by Amaryllis Salome' Carter | Shimmy This Belly Dance Company Raks Las Vegas! (scroll down).

 

[Brea]

Thank you Anisteph! I think that all of us could use this kind of information. I hope everyone sees it.

 

[KuteNurse]

Always follow your instincts. You did the right thing.

 

[da Sage]

I wish I had seen this thread earlier

Brea-

There is a guy in or around Minneapolis, MN who is is weird about dancers. I believe I met him at a sci-fi convention...this guy claimed to be in town from Duluth or Fargo, and that his wife was a belly dance teacher there, and were there any local dancers she could take private lessons from when she was in town? I told him that the obvious choice was Cassandra*, and didn't think much more about it, except that it was odd he was there without his wife, and that it was odd for him to ask on behalf of his wife...shouldn't she be doing the legwork?

A month or so later, another teacher/dancer posted to tribe...apparently she had done a photo shoot with a guy she met through the same convention - probably the same guy. She didn't get her copies of the pictures, or the money she was promised for modelling. Thank goodness that's all! So you were absolutely right to be cautious.

BTW, please don't be scared of sci-fi fandom in general. There are a lot of belly dancers, musicians, and dance lovers in it. But that's where we happened to connect with this loser.

In conclusion, I think if some man approaches you about dance lessons for someone else, RUN! It is so very strange how men cannot let go of their male identities in fabricating these stories. And I think meeting new private students in a public place (as you insisted on doing) is a very smart idea.

*I could have recommended other teachers as well, but I didn't bother to do so because this wasn't even a direct recommendation.

I am actually going to put some more keywords here, so this post will come up on search engines: bellydance, bellydancing, private dance lesson, photography session, model, creepy, scam, weird, dangerous, Minnesota, Convergence

 

[Babylonia]

...she had done a photo shoot...

This is quite a popular scam/ploy as well and works alot because it feeds on vanity and often they will "have their card or camera in the car" and ask you to go with them. Even if they are legit they can be psycho. There was a well publicized trial about a photographer who killed a model/cheerleader on what she thought was a typical photo shoot.

Always be careful and remember that your safety is always more important than someone's feelings.

 

[da Sage]

...she had done a photo shoot...

This is quite a popular scam/ploy as well and works alot because it feeds on vanity and often they will "have their card or camera in the car" and ask you to go with them. Even if they are legit they can be psycho. There was a well publicized trial about a photographer who killed a model/cheerleader on what she thought was a typical photo shoot.

Always be careful and remember that your safety is always more important than someone's feelings.

I agree...caution is always important!

I don't know the specifics of the situation beyond what I posted, but this dancer probably just wanted some new photos for publicity. I get the feeling she hangs with an self-starting, artsy crowd, so the request might not have seemed as odd to her as it would to some of us. And for all I know, she might have showed up to the shoot with a friend (which is the precaution I would take).