Please, tell me I'm not a b***h

[jenc]

I recently lent a £45 costume - OK it's cheap but it's my only to a friend who was dancing her first solo when I had chickened out of getting my first solo ready. I had actually never worn it before.

then the next year, we were due to do our solos in class for the teacher and the other classmates and she mentionned borrowing my costume again. i had still never worn it.

I went to workshops and saw my costume in another colour which I liked better, so I rang her and asked if she wanted to buy mine fulll price - (I had still never worn it and she had been talking of getting one like mine and whether we could get class to invest for group performance. She declined, so I did not but anything new, wore it myself and that will be my last lend.

 

[Safran]

Or worse, baby poop on beads :shok:

Can you tell I'm not yet a mother?

:lol: As we just implemented the euro, there's a lot of money-related issues making headlines. So three days ago we could read an article titled:
"The doctors saved a 20 cent coin from a child's stomach"

With the economy these days saving money is more important than saving children

 

[gisela]

:lol: As we just implemented the euro, there's a lot of money-related issues making headlines. So three days ago we could read an article titled:
"The doctors saved a 20 cent coin from a child's stomach"

With the economy these days saving money is more important than saving children

:lol: Aaargh all these children putting coins in their mouths... THAT is the true source of the financial crisis!

 

[LadyLoba]

I don't think saying no is at all petty or unreasonable. She might be a sweet person overall, but in this situation she's being a bit of a user, only talking to you when she wants to borrow your costume. And I agree...if she's that serious about belly dance, then she should have invested in her own costumes by now...even if she can't afford to spend a lot on them, surely she could have put something together in three years.

I think simply explaining that you quit lending out your costumes to anyone and suggesting a few stores where she might order some similar costumes would be perfectly polite.

I agree with the not wanting other people's sweat in your costumes too. I don't have a costume yet, but I absolutely do not share my clothes beyond lending someone a jacket if they're cold. If something doesn't fit me anymore or I realize it doesn't suit me, I'm more than happy to donate it, but if I'm wearing it I like to be the only one. But then, I avoid borrowing clothes too, as I'm assuming other people don't want me sweating in, snagging, stretching, or spilling on their clothes either.

 

[Mosaic]

:lol: As we just implemented the euro, there's a lot of money-related issues making headlines. So three days ago we could read an article titled:
"The doctors saved a 20 cent coin from a child's stomach"

With the economy these days saving money is more important than saving children

How very clever of them to "save" a 20 cent coin . But how mean to take away the child's 20cents. Maybe the child thought he was a piggy bank and was saving for his future, he heard that banks aren't safe these days.
~Mosaic

PS: I heard on the news Princess Mary gave birth to her twins, a boy & girl. That's pretty exciting for them .... but, they better teach all those babes to put their money under the mattress and not in their mouths, the docs will only act like bankers and take it from them:lol:

 

[Yshka]

Or worse, baby poop on beads :shok:

Can you tell I'm not yet a mother?

I can tell you're a..... BELLYDANCER! :lol:

Eww.. the thought of having my beads pooped on...

Anyhow, you're not a bitch and my initial thought when reading your post was "hell no! After 3 years still borrowing?? She could've found something by now for herself and it doesn't have to be expensive, but my thought is she really is a user to contact you only now she needs a costume, and then trying to borrow one of your expensive pretties.

I do not lend out my costumes. I might make an exception if it was one of my troupe-ladies who I practically live in the studio with or somebody MONUMENTALLY close to me (can't due to length-issues, haha, but anyway, people who you know understand the value of these things..), but definitely not to somebody I hadn't seen in years. To me it's not only the idea of lending it out to somebody who's only out for a bargain, but also my costumes feel precious and personal to me and I treat them with the utmost care. It's something you invest in tremendously and it's not cheap buying and maintaining them.

I think you did the right thing and are SO not a bitch. You simply can't be, you're a sweetheart

 

[MissVega]

Well I don't think I have much to add that hasn't already been said, very wise ladies in this forum.

I have been asked by a dancer I hardly knew to borrow a costume before. To be fair she seems like a really nice girl as well but I still said no. I know how you feel wanting to help someone out and how you can feel bad but as everyone else is said saying no doesn't make you petty, or selfish or a b****.

 

[gisela]

Thanks for the comments!

I got a nice answer back that she understood and that she really should get a costume sometime. No trauma thee. I still think she is a nice girl and I don't blame her for asking, since I let her borrow it the last time. I just had issues of my own, trying to feel my own boundaries and stuff. Working on that in general so this was almost a practice session
Glad it worked out though because it is so bad to agree and then regret it the moment you say yes.

Aaah thank you Yshka! You are a swwetheart too!

Yes Mosaic, we had royal twins today, or was it yesterday? There are so many children now in the royal family. In all, seven little princes and princesses :shok: I should pop one out too so they can marry when they grow up

 

[Greek Bonfire]

:lol: Aaargh all these children putting coins in their mouths... THAT is the true source of the financial crisis!

If you ran for president, I would definitely vote for you!! :lol::lol: